Is the bartender actually interested or just looking for tips?

[Anonymous]

There's this bar I've been going to for over a year now and have slowly become a regular. There's this one bartender that's normally there and I've started to develop a crush on him. One of my friend's boyfriends one day told him I was interested and he said he was interested too and since then he's been giving subtle hints and we've definitely been having a lot more eye contact. I don't have a reason to believe he would be lying but is this also just a ploy to get me to keep coming back and tip more? If he's actually interested, how do I make a move without completely embarrassing myself?

Updates

+1 y

update: I went back the other day and he asked if one of the drinks were for me and said “it’s on me” when I said yes. But there’s been other things where he’ll directly stare at me when saying things to someone else or one time he made a point to stare directly into my eyes and grab my hand. I’m starting to think he might be actually interested and I think I just need to make a move and find out either way.

[Drew-1990]

I don't think that is a ploy honestly if you were told he was interested. Bartenders will flirt for tips but I don't think one would lie about being interested in you. Just ask him if he is single or not and mention you are that kinda shows you are interested without asking him out and giving him the chance to do it himself.

[Anonymous]

It's hard to say definitively without more context, but generally, bartenders are friendly and engaging as part of their job, which includes earning tips. However, some may genuinely be interested in getting to know customers beyond just serving drinks. Pay attention to their body language, tone, and the level of personal conversation to gauge their intentions accurately.

[WhitneySnow]

He’s definitely interested but he might just want sex. Ask him out but don’t do anything sexual until you’re sure he really likes you and doesn’t just want to have sex with you.

[bobby_bush_eater]

That definitely doesn't sound like a ploy. Maybe he might just want sex, I don't know if that's what you want but a guy is very unlikely to do something like this for a few extra bucks. Sounds like he's interested, to what extent obviously only he knows

[MVMartin]

You know bartenders like their job mainly because they have access to a lot of women right. If you went there a lot he would’ve asked you for a number or social if he was interested and single since he won't be a shy guy. If you are looking for something other than sex i would stay away from bartenders. His job is to get tips and be social and get people to comeback again. No one would put an ugly unsocial guy behind the bar.

[Surely]

If you are a jealous person or will belly up to the bar whenever he works. More than a social drinker. You should stay away. I have seen people dating a person behind a bar that couldn’t handle the flirting that goes with a bar tender. Then they got barred from the bar.

[The_Sexpert]

Bartenders usually act nice and even flirt with people of opposite gender for more tips

But since he said "He's interested too"... we can't surely put him in the above category

So give it a shot, ask for a date

[Jay-_-]

If you're a women your chances of him accepting is really high, so stop being nervous and ask him if he would like to go out one of these days or something along those lines, like someone said, you won't embarrass yourself.

[JesseP1nk]

Its his job. If you wanna know for sure... you need to find out where does he hang out when he is not working. And "accidently" be there too and start talking to him and see where does it go.

[sheikalana]

LOL he's looking for tips hun. He probably does the same with every other girl who has a crush on him and makes it obvious.

[exitseven]

Ask him. The worst thing that happens is you find another place to drink.

[JacobJordan]

You are a woman it is nearly impossible to embarrass yourself asking a guy out so just do it

[Staximus]

Bartenders who are friendly and engaging get more ass than a toilet seat so be mindful of that

[Metalbarbie]

Probably looking for tips 😊 I used to bar tend flirting was a must.

[deus_ex_sisyphus]

Do the girl thing: stalk his social medias and coincidentally meet him away from work.

[In_Trance]

Tips

[KrakenAttackin]

Bartenders plow through bar girls like a combine plows through a wheat field.

[laly520]

u gotta give more context

[Twalli]

Ask if he'd like a meal with you when he's off.

[JayBones2469]

It's always the tips.