How do you get over the difficulty of approaching girls?

Question

I am introverted person and a bit shy. I dont have problems to talk with strangers for example. More likely i dont know often what to say. When someone introduces me to some girls I dont have problem talking to them or something and i feel comfortable when we are introduced and stuff. But i have problem with approaching total strangers, when you see cute girl at a bar and stuff. I feel awkward and like i am interrupting her.

Avicenna · Accepted Answer

Motivate and incentivize yourself by imagining yourself happy in a relationship with the woman you're talking to.

ProbablyClueless · Accepted Answer

I've found that it's best to go in without a real plan and just say hi to see where the conversation goes.

ShellyB · Answer

tbh most relationships I have had, or that my friends have, were started in some other way such as being in class or activities together or being introduced by mutual friends. However sometimes it does come from situations like somebody walking up and talking and my advice for a guy for doing this is, just be nice and genuine. Or funny, one of those things, don’t be weird or rude. You might ask about what she is drinking or eating and how good it is because you were interested in trying it. Or, you might ask if she’s tried something else, like a snack or drink. Or you might just say you saw her smile and thought you should get to know somebody who had such a pretty smile. Or whatever, just break the ice and then talk like a normal person. Within a few minutes say “are you here with anybody?” Warning, it probably will not work!! But what is the harm, if she isn’t interested that is OK you got some experience talking w a girl and maybe the next one will be interested. That is my advice and what I have seen work.

But again I think you are way more likely to end up in a relationship through shared activities and mutual friends. If you are friends w a girl who knows a girl you like, ask your friend about the other girl. She will know what is going on and maybe will help you, like “do you think James is cute?” or whatever.

Anyway JMO!

AviatorTom · Answer

Easy. Approach a few girls. Get rejected a few times. You'll get better at it.

EzraIsShy76028 · Answer

There's no true definite solution, really.

The best thing you can do is practice approaching girls and put yourself out there. You'll probably feel like a complete idiot at first, and you'll most likely definitely get rejected a lot, but slowly and gradually little by little you should get better at it.

Beyond that, there's lots and lots of advice you can get from various sources. Books for example that talk about this stuff. YouTube videos. People online in general who give advice. Online articles. Remember to take all this advice with a grain of salt though, as there's no one true solution and different sources will often contradict each other.

Using your basic common sense is another big thing though. Definitely read the room and pay attention to how she's reacting. If she's obviously uncomfortable and trying to step away from the conversation then don't ask out that girl. If she's more relaxed and smiling or laughing then definitely shoot your shot. Also remember to never put girls on a pedestal like they're some divine beings or anything like that. They're regular human beings, and they take stinky shits and piss just like you do.

Another thing, don't compliment anything about her physical appearance unless she can control it. So don't compliment her body or eyes or facial features. But do compliment things like hair, nails, or clothing.

Beyond that, just practice, practice, practice. You can read and take notes on all the advice you want, but if you don't put that advice into practice then it becomes pointless. Also remember to not obsess over tiny details about the advice and don't overthink things too much. Most of the advice just sort of boils down to "respect her and treat her like a normal person." That's it, really.

imtiaz45 · Answer

Getting over the difficulty of approaching girls starts with building confidence and changing your mindset. Focus on being genuine and treating it as a friendly conversation rather than a high-pressure situation. Practice small talk in everyday situations to ease social anxiety, and remind yourself that rejection is normal and not a reflection of your worth. Keep expectations realistic and stay relaxed. It helps to approach with respect and kindness, focusing on shared interests or a simple compliment. The more you practice, the more natural it becomes, and eventually, the fear of approaching will fade.

236color · Answer

You need to understand something, women don't date friends. You have about 3 weeks from meeting her till you're in the friend zone for life. Next, you are going to get turned down 99.999% of the time. It's a numbers game. So ask early, ask many. This helps you get better in 2 ways. First when you ask BEFORE you're deeply invested, it doesn't hurt as much when you're turn down. Second, like anything else, it gets easier with practice. If you get a date, remember you are not obligated to marry her. The purpose of date is to get to know each. Not everyone that says yes even worth a second date, but you won't know that until you have the first one.

CalmUntilAbused · Answer

Well... One way that worked for me was to do it at an anime convention. We still agreed to meet up there through Discord beforehand, so I'm not sure if that counts. But what I'm confident about is that people in general, women in particular, are definitely much kinder at anime conventions. There are even people (including women) walking around with "free hugs" signs. Anime convention visitors usually crave wholesomeness themselves, You see. Could be similar at the church, but a church is not exactly a place to approach a woman at.

mobiusforniner · Answer

First, stop seeing women as sex objects. Second, approach and get rejected. Not once. Not twice. But countless times. Like anything in life, getting good at something takes repetition and practice. And for those who don’t want to invest that effort for fear of failure, it highlights an inward sense of insecurity which, to most women, is not attractive. So overcome your insecurity and see women as human beings, then you’ll go far.

Makeushiver · Answer

Find out what her interests are. From what I hear guys talk way too much about themselves. esp. jobs often bragging and embellishing which, again from what I;ve heard bores women to tears. If you start by talking about her interests with sincerity, its a safe place and you should be able to tell her level of interest. If you get as far as asking her out coffee is usually the least threatening to start with. om there, lunch, dinner in that order

Johnagain · Answer

Yeah. Even at 58, or 59, (I lost track), I'm still shy about even greeting most girls. Especially if they are attractive to me. I just relax, smile, and greet them with the same respect I would anyone else... if they're strangers. What they react with... we take it from there. What else can I do?

Unit1 · Answer

I know what you mean. It's called being too pussy to go and bother the girls. How to get over it? Hell, I wish I knew.

Anonymous · Answer

Approach girls you are not interested in to get experience and practice. Take a few months and do it hundreds of times. Just say hello and have a conversation for 2 or 3 minutes. When you are comfortable with it, start approaching girls you are interested in.

Slim57 · Answer

Just don't. Flip the script, let them approach if you don't want to or keep doing the ways to meet them that are most comfortable to you. I've never dated a random girl I've gone up to, I've done it, but I'm like you I've never been comfortable with it. All my dates and relationships have been through people I've met through: friends, co-workers, or online dating, like I said never dated a girl I've approached, even though I rarely have approached

NathanDavis · Answer

basically... I just waited till they were the ones to approach me... and then I just got used to it, lol

Shamalien · Answer

Generally they are the ones approaching me. If I’m into a girl enough to want to date her, I already know her. I don’t approach strangers. Guys who do that just wanna fuck, but I’m more about serious courtships at this point

rienna888 · Answer

For me, I’m always flattered when a guy approaches me. Just dont be creepy. But its rare to be creepy, just approach in public and don’t look like a criminal

gatixek710 · Answer

Fake it till you make it. keep doing it. Even without the intent of trying to pick them up. Just talk to random women.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I've never been introverted, but cold appraoching can be daunting and you will get rejected a lot. Just never take it to heart and keep on swinging.

Djaay · Answer

Make sure u have a ligit reason to 0say hello. Then a conversation might develope if appropriate or proper. Other than that , let them come to 0u. Wait for a green light while ur going about ur day.

red-lipstick-girl · Answer

I feel sorry for you, I think you will get over this and get better.

Logan2000 · Answer

this and if you've been around them a bit longer like being at the same school then u usually know if they've ever even been looking at u

Anonymous · Answer

Stop masturbating. When you get sexually aroused and have no other outlet, eventually your cock and balls will help you overcome your approach anxiety.

RowdyYates · Answer

Practice makes perfect. Pay her a complement but make it non-threatening.

Ladsin2 · Answer

Do it over and over and over again. Then drink and get on GaG to talk shit at night. Eventually it should all work out.

noohair · Answer

What worked for me is, what is the worst thing that could happen. Total humiliation? But no firing squad.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

You'll have to develop a strategy where women feel comfortable around you and vice versa.

grega239 · Answer

Stop wasting your time with dating and find some hobbies instead.

milfordbravo · Answer

I think if you come to the mindset: it’s not about you and what you get. You can get nothing and it would still be worth the effort.

Anonymous · Answer

I've been wondering the same thing for decades.

RedInnocent69 · Answer

See them as people first.

CandiKrunch · Answer

Practice

jahaims · Answer

Exposure therapy

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

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