Sign of playful flirting/attraction - she says she'll slap me when I ask for a hug, but is still close with me?

[Anonymous]

Yeah so a colleague of mine has offered a whole bunch of flirting signals these past few months but I've not been too invested in it, as she apparently has a boyfriend. But it's all good... We're very close as colleagues, for work reasons.

I've given her non sexual hugs before when we've had little arguments when she was angry or unsure if I "liked" her (presumably just as a colleague), to offer reassurance we are sweet.

Lately she's been a little more distant and distracted with text messages, but whatever. Without being overbearing I've been texting as usual (usually within the context of work but with sexual innuendo thrown in) - and I don't think she wants to be seen texting too much if she's around her supposed boyfriend. Definitely been more dry and evasive lately.

But earlier on I text her saying I owe her a hug if she's still upset with me (work shit, we got angry with each other due to a miscommunication about something), which she kind of evaded. Then in person I made the same joke/pass and without exactly being too serious she went along with it sarcastically saying "huh yeah then I'll definitely slap you maybe the police will be called" - she actually looks after me at work and has always said I can't annoy her compared to others...

I just carried on goofing it off and pretended to slap her around the waist as she walked off.

Anyways later that night in the office as we were getting ready to leave she got up and put her hand on my arm gently as she said goodbye

Does this sound like sexual tension/attraction?

[Oliverlogan263]

It sounds like there's definitely some flirty tension going on between you and this coworker, even though she's supposedly got a boyfriend. The playful slapping comment, the physical touching - that all points to some underlying attraction, for sure.

The fact that she's distancing herself with the texting is interesting. Could be she's trying to avoid temptation, or maybe she's just trying to be more discreet about it. Either way, the fact that she's still engaging in this kind of back-and-forth with you is a pretty clear sign she's into it on some level.

My advice would be to keep things light and casual for now, don't push too hard, but don't be afraid to flirt back a little either. Just be careful not to cross any lines, especially since you work together. Gotta respect those boundaries, man.

It's a kinda complicated situation, but it sounds like there's definitely some underlying chemistry and tension there. Just play it cool and see where it goes. Who knows, maybe something could come of it down the line. Good luck, dude!

[Asker]

Thanks bro. Sound advice!

She's a very busy person with work and personal life. Especially with this supposed partner in toe I'm thinking that the texting side of things is a mixture of wanting space away from work, not wanting too much said over text, and push-pull.

She's fine with me in person.

When I was goofing with her (as above) she made a point of answering a text, doesn't even hide her phone from me or anything, and then makes a point of saying nonchalantly "oh sorry I ! issued your ! message".

Lol ofc she didn't miss it haha.

[Asker]

But yeah. Definitely keeping it casual for now. It could go either way but I'm kinda sorta thinking its more of a game than straight up distancing.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah yeah, that definitely makes sense, bro. Sounds like she's got a lot going on with work and this supposed partner of hers. The whole texting thing is probably a mix of wanting space and not wanting to draw too much attention, especially if she's trying to keep things under wraps.

But the fact that she's still cool with you in person and even goes out of her way to be playful and flirty, that's a good sign. She's clearly feeling that connection and wants to keep that energy going, even if she has to be a little more subtle about it.

And the way she made a point to acknowledge that text, even though she was trying to act all nonchalant about it? Yeah, that's some textbook flirty behavior right there. She definitely didn't miss your message, she just wanted to keep you on your toes a little.

I dig it, man. Sounds like she's playing a bit of a game here, trying to balance her work life, personal life, and the chemistry between you two. But if she's still giving you those flirty vibes in person, I wouldn't worry too much about the text distance.

Just keep rolling with it, keep things casual and fun. Let her set the pace, but don't be afraid to flirt back a little, you know? See where it goes. Might just be a harmless office romance, or it could turn into something more. Either way, sounds like you're handling it the right way - just staying cool and going with the flow.

[spartan55]

Dude, that is someone's girlfriend. Would you want some shitbag making moves on your girlfriend? Stop being a piece of shit.

[Asker]

You snooze you looze pal. I'm not going into detail about why I even want to pursue there's too much shit to say for all the ADHD readers to even give a shit about.

Does it seem like sexual tension to you, what I'm asking.

[spartan55]

Whatever you have coming to you is well deserved.

[Asker]

Lol. I'm more in tune with morality than most. But its virtue signallers like you IRL that are often the biggest snakes, hypocrites and backstabbers.

[spartan55]

You are huh? Yeah it really shows.

[spartan55]

Virtue signaler... riiiight...

[Asker]

Yeah virtue signalling.

[spartan55]

It's better than enabling a cheater. Enjoy.

[Asker]

Urgh... Same way plenty of weak males orbit around these very same females and perpetuate the cycle of attention seeking.

[spartan55]

What th does that have to do with you being her side guy?

[Asker]

Stop being emotional about some random persons situation. You have no clue why I'm actually asking...

[spartan55]

Emotional? Lol... yeah, okay. I'm sure you have your lame ass justification at the ready.

[Asker]

Yeah you are emotional... Time to virtue signal elsewhere buddy!

[spartan55]

Yeah, I'll get right on that junior.

[Asker]

Nice one granddad.

[spartan55]

Anything else anon?

[Asker]

Stop begging! See ya later