How does your Trust level start?

[Anonymous]

How do you behave regarding trust in human relations?

1- I start with 100 points, but as I get to know you more, my confidence decreases.

2- It starts with 0, I don't trust anyone without testing them.

Which one? If you have an anecdote about this, please tell it.

[Anonymous]

It starts with zero, but then depending upon that person's talking style, level of maturity in their talks (what I feel), it increases. Sometimes it takes a lot more time to increase even a bit sometimes it increases rapidly then afterwards it fluctuates depending upon their actions and reaction then after a long long time it get settled around some level.

Initially when I was new to internet world (I'm introvert so i don't have much interaction with real people so it's very tough for me to understand people or world around me). So when I came to the internet world i was with all rosy glasses and I believed each and everyone. their flirting etc all felt true to me. And so I got badly trapped into spam calls. I trusted a boy so easily and exchanged my phone number with him. But later on I realised he isn't right guy. So i stopped talking to him. Then he made my number viral as challenge between guys to make me fall in their love game. I struggled with those spam calls for 2 years almost. Then I learnt lesson to not to trust anyone so easily especially not who flirts.

Then next year I met an old man. He was very decent to me. Calling me daughter etc. I trusted him thinking he is elder. He was good to me for almost 1 yr then started forcing me for nudes. He was very good in manipulation and I was very easily abled to manipulated with such less experience about outer world. So those 3 years were horrible but I learnt about all the manipulation tricks to not get manipulated again.

Finally I met my current boyfriend. He was a good guy. But upto 3 months I have not even shared my pic or even didn't told him my real name. Then 5th month he confessed his feelings for me but I have accepted his feelings only after 10 months. But still hasn't trusted him completely. He was also ok with it. He told me "keep your doubts never believe on me or what I say but see what I do and let my actions make you clear your doubts, you are always allowed to keep doubts on me". I took all my time. And now finally I trust him completely. I took 3 years to finally trust upon him completely.

And so now I take long long time to trust anybody.

[Asker]

You've had two bad experiences. It took you a long time to trust the result, so how did he trust you so much, why did he give you so much time and understanding without even seeing your picture?

[Opinion Owner]

Even he does not know the real answer that why? But he has some strong gut feeling or such things something what many times gets proven right and helps him time to time in taking his life decisions. There are some mysteries that we both are unable to get any logical answer. For example after his last failed relationship he never got involved with any other relationship untill he met me. Even when he was always surrounded by so many girls. That's fine that's understandable. But the bigger questions and bigger mystery is that. We met eachother online as complete stranger and we talked for only 5-7 days then I told him good bye and told him that I'm going away. We were complete strangers then had no special feelings not even a single bit of attraction. But still he kept waiting for me daily. Even when I told him clearly that I won't come still. He doesn't do so usually but he says that like something told him to wait. And randomly after 1 week i felt like to re login to that app. I wasn't expecting him there waiting for me then. But he was there. We don't know why. He wasn't interested in me initially. I was just another stranger to him. But later on only he developed feelings for me what he initially was in denial then later on only he accepted. And he is a mature guy. He knew my past experiences so he understood my concerns so he was okay for me keeping doubts on him. And we both were pure human beings only so we both felt no need to see eachother pic till we started getting attracted to eachother. So it wasn't issue. And now he says it was his best decision in his life he made that he waited for me and he chose me to be his life partner.

[Asker]

Thank you for this beautiful and detailed explanation. May you always be happy.

[MemeSupreme]

a solid zero

you can't depend on anyone and no one deserves anything in life, so why expect people to treat you good? i really need a lot of examples of good acts and time to feel like i can trust them somewhat

but i also gotta get my brain adjusted to that person bc it naturally is like wary of people even if ik objectively they're fine. it gets in a fight or flight mode easily. so when ik i can trust someone it's really me fighting my brain and making sure i don't do shit to push em away lol

[Asker]

thanks for explanation. insecurity gets a little tiring

[jahaims]

It depends on the context. If a good friend introduces me to someone and says they are a solid human I trust my friends judgment. If it's a stranger they start at 0.

[Asker]

Have you ever had a negative experience with a friend referral?

[jazzy34]

Zero.

[Asker]

Why, do you have reasons not to trust? bad experiences?

[jazzy34]

I have to get to know someone in order to trust them.

[Uglygaypoorcoward94]

0 Trust,