Is she flirting with me at the gym, or am I misreading the mixed signals?

[Anonymous]

i'm lost as to whats going on here , this girl has been like ghosting me than reappearing claiming to be friends and will say hi to me at her work and sometimes we talk about different stuff. like she disappeared from mid July to mid aug and then again early sep till early oct

when i talked to her at the store early summer she claimed to not even be going to that gym anymore but yesterday i saw her there with a girlfriend and she said hi to me. got changed and came out wearing this tiny bikini top with pants. i suppose some girls feel comfortable dressing like that at the gym but then her exercises mostly seemed to consist of leg stretches and lifting stuff that really showed off her body even more , she's very flexible despite having no background in dance or gymnastics although think i read her mother was a yoga instructor but not sure if she's into it. so its pretty hot to see her there doing her thing

i briefly talked to her and asked about her funny claim to no longer go to gym and she didn't really answer and was like can't i go to gym on a Monday or something , basically denied even telling me earlier she wasn't going anymore

like i don't even know what this is anymore , just a tease or wants me to want her but no intention of giving me what i actually want from her

[HollyK21]

Honestly dude, I don’t think she’s flirting with you, and you’re definitely overthinking this. If a girl ghosts you for a month at a time, only chats casually when she’s at work, and literally tells you that you're just friends, believe her. The way she dresses and stretches at the gym has nothing to do with you — she’s just doing her own thing and wearing what she wants. When you called her out about the gym thing and she got defensive, that was a clear sign she felt awkward, not playful.

She just views you as a casual gym acquaintance. Since you’re feeling frustrated and like she’s teasing you, it's best to just drop it, stop overanalyzing her, and focus on your own workouts.

[Abbycado]

Something doesn’t add up. How is she claiming to be friends if you aren’t friends?

[Asker]

we definitely seem to be friends , she always says hi to me and we've talked on many occasions

guess the gaps in seeing her which seemed to be ghostings caused me to wonder what was going on

and she'd like tell lies and half truths to me at her work , she claimed to not even know this girl we both knew who was having a birthday party around end of aug but saw a picture online of her at the party , i didn't go as had to get up early next day

[Abbycado]

Okay. That part, or maybe the way it was worded, confused me a bit.

If I had to go one way or the other, I would say she is flirting. That comes in a lot of varieties depending on the person. The thing I would worry about are those lies. Not even in a relationship or friendship, really, yet she is lying.

[Asker]

the lies were kind of crazy especially for the circumstances , does seem like she wanted the attention if that means flirting i guess although been some girls at that gym over the years who had bfs but still seemed to be ok with me be around and noticing them

[Abbycado]

Honestly, the lies, fibs would be dealbreakers for me, personally.

[Asker]

i think its her personality or she was annoyed i kept visiting her at work , its always been very back and forth with her , one day very into being friends than another she disappears, she was not at gym today

[Abbycado]

I agree that it could be a personality thing. Obviously, I don’t know her. She comes off as flaky and trying to impress people for her own vanity.

Not exactly qualities someone should look for.

[Asker]

i might see her Friday or Saturday at her work , would really like to talk to her but not sure its going to happen , gym is really random if i'd see her there or not

more questions here than answers and not really sure any of it will make sense unless she actually opens up and is truthful with me

[slatyb]

Plan a date, invite her, and get an answer.