Coincidence or what?

[Anonymous]

9 years ago I said if “John” likes me or will marry me let him follow me and like my pics and like a week later he followed me and liked 3 pics. I always think about that and he viewed every story and was active until I got overwhelmed and unfollowed him and like not too long after he deleted his account and just recently reactivated it

but we were like 21-22…. At the time and I said fuck him for whatever reason and he never responded…(2019) like 2022 he got my number from someone and said happy Thanksgiving and love you in which I never had his number prior and I known him since I was 6….

I had always liked him growing up and we were good friends who played together when we were 6…. Our dads were best friends… he got older, got cuter, popular and he was arrogant and he played ball well but we both moved on with life regardless

he was just bored

[HollyK21]

I wouldn’t concern myself with that, but hopefully you’re feeling a lot better this weekend and have been focusing. This free time you’re using to go back and reminisce would be better spent working on your brand.

[Asker]

Yeah you’re right. I spoke to my therapist but she always ask me “what do you want to talk about today “ I feel like a lot of my therapist don’t really care… but I’ve actually been sad / angry about my step sister for some reason… and this deep need to make sure I outshine her

[HollyK21]

Therapists usually ask that kind of question because they want you to guide the session, not because they don’t care. I mean, that’s a good chunk of what therapy is for — helping you sort through things and usually by means of coming to the conclusion on your own accord. That’s the destination, they’re just like a co-conductor. Next time the therapist asks, tell her exactly what you told me — that you’re feeling a deep, angry need to outshine your stepsister and that you keep looping back to fixations when you have free time. If you wanna use your candle business or even getting better at Pilates as a way to outshine your step sis then sure — that’s your prerogative. Just be sure you ask for help unpacking all these thoughts.

[Asker]

Sorry for the delay

At 29, should I work two jobs to move out or prioritize my LPN program?
Anonymous
Me
(25-29)
I’m trying to decide whether I should work two jobs—my VA position and another job—so I can afford to move out of my aunt’s house, or stay with my one job at the VA and pursue my part-time LPN program while continuing to save.

I’m torn between prioritizing independence now and investing in my education and long-term career. I’m seeking honest advice on which option would be the smartest financially and personally in the long run. What would you do in my situation? Should I focus on moving out first or prioritize school while I have the opportunity?

I live with my aunt but I’m 29…. Need my own space, she is invasive and because I don’t have the best relationship with my mom she has her ways and together they are like bullies.. I feel my worst with them…

Need your advice

[HollyK21]

Chels, what’s going on? Why did you delete all of our conversation? Is everything ok?

[Asker]

Huh? I didn’t delete anything

Which conversations are you referring to?

[Asker]

I don’t even have the option to delete it unless I delete the entire post

[HollyK21]

We had a super long thread, maybe this isn’t the same one. In any case, my advice is prioritize the VA job and your LPN program, without a doubt. Working two jobs just to rush moving out would burn you out completely, mess with your mental health, and put you right back at square one. Staying put a little longer while you finish school and save your federal paychecks is really temporary discomfort, for permanent freedom. Whereas dropping school for a second job just keeps you stuck in low-paying roles.

[Asker]

But the program is 2 years (part time) because the year long one is every day.. I have no time for school and work

[HollyK21]

2 years is going to pass either way, Chels. You can either be 31 with an LPN license and permanent financial freedom, or 31 completely burned out from working 2 dead-end jobs with no degree. Doing it part-time while working one steady job at the VA is actually the smartest, healthiest pace so you don't overwhelm yourself and quit. Looking back over your shoulder wishing you were younger and getting all this started earlier is not going to help because there is no reset button, as much as you wish there was. You cannot go back to that adolescence. All you can do is build for the future, and that starts here, in present time.

[HollyK21]

Doing the full time program while working would be impossible, which is why the 2 year, part-time track is actually your best move so you don't overwhelm yourself. Balancing work and evening classes is going to keep you super busy, which means you will barely even be home to deal with your aunt anyway.

[Asker]

Did I fail? Is this embarrassing? … especially when I see younger people getting their lpn

[HollyK21]

No, you didn't fail, and it is not embarrassing — plenty of people go back to nursing school in their 30s and 40s, so comparing yourself to 20 yr olds is just another excuse to talk yourself out of doing the work. Stop worrying about how it looks to strangers and just focus on finishing the program so you can finally get your own place and do your own thing.

[HollyK21]

And even if it’s not strangers and it’s old friends, family, etc — you can’t worry about their opinions, and you only stifle your personal progress by saying you shouldn’t even attempt achieving something just because you’re no longer in the age range you wish you were. You can’t go back, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.

[Nikki1989]

Most men are flaky at the best of times; he just probably moved on.

[Asker]

Yeah I agree

[Anonymous]

You drive him away every time

[Asker]

He wasn’t consistent or clear… he was bored

[Asker]

It’s only on his terms

[Danny_dan92]

This sounds like some high school juvenile love bs

[kinks1951]

Sure this wasn't high school

[Asker]

No we went to church together

[kinks1951]

I would let it go

[Asker]

I did he wasn’t worth it

[kinks1951]

Good for you