I think it is because Men are always expected to make the first move, to initiated contact, to ask Women out etc. I have been around a LOT of girls who flirt like crazy yet that doesn't mean they like me. I have been turned down by a girl who flirted with me a ton, and she told me she just "does that with everyone".
So, lets say I'm the guy you like. If you flirt with me a bunch, and your good looking, you might be intimidating. I might think you are just acting like the other girl I just explained. So with that said, I might have NO CLUE you actually like me. Plus a lot of woman are really nice and throw up these "signs" to guys who they aren't even interested in romantically. Can you see why it gets so confusing now?
I think Women should put in as much effort as guys in initiating things. If you really like a guy and your signs aren't working, then straight up ask him on a date or something! If a girl who I liked came onto me like that I'd be pretty damn happy about it, it would also make me feel good about myself knowing a girl actually did the work to let me know she liked me.
Some guys might not realize you like them because you don't make it apparent enough. A LOT of people flirt with many people, so flirting may not be nearly enough. Just tell him you are interested, and ask him out. No shame in any game!
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Because one girl's sign of interest could be another girl's sign of friendliness. So many girls out there like to show interest in a guy and turn around and say, "oh, I was just being friendly, I don't like you like that", and each girl has a different personality, so we assume they are just being friendly and not into it. Usually you have to take it to the next level, but since girls are shy and insecure, they guy usually asks them out and either gets a yes or is rejected.
Usually, if the girl really likes the guy she will make it obvious, like she would talk about what she looks for in a potential partner with the guy, out of the blue... this is a major sign, and guys DO pick up on these things. Sometimes you got to get out of your comfort zone... don't think that you can talk to your friends about us and give us a few smiles and expect us to ask you out immediately, that's wishful thinking at best. Even the best looking ones out of us have been rejected before, and though it's not a big deal, it does hurt and we don't want to go through it unless we are about 75% sure that you like us.
it seems signs aren't working, time for a different game plan. actions are guy's specialty, words are girls. make words work for you. if you think you're being so obvious then, you shouldn't be afraid to talk about it.
Because they aren't mind readers and just like girls, aren't always that secure...
How many times have we all read questions on here from girls asking the question, "How do I know if this guy is interested?"
A lot of guys have the same fears girls have, the fear of rejection, and lets be honest, they are completely oblivious.
thanks for asking this question! it kind of opened my eyes :O
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The key reason is because guy's brains and girl's brains are MENTALLY SCIENTIFICALLY different. This means that what your thinking is not what we are perceiving...you need to put it in kindergarten terms for us...which include...
1. TOUCH...you know how you want to be touched right? Just touch us the same way...brush your hand down our arm, or even better our chest.
2. LAUGH...not only laugh but also SAY "You are funny", "You make me laugh"
3. TEXT/CALL...us randomly, the fact that you aren't texting your girl bff or whatever means that you are actually interested in our day and if he doesn't respond by saying hey lets go grab some food..then ask him to go grab some food yourself!
Basically be aggressive...I know I know, it should be the man's job but sometimes we need a little kick in the butt...just like everyone else...lol good luck lovely...It's a tactic that us guys like to use. We know when a girl is interested, and we notice all the signs you give us. We just act like we don't notice and pretend like there is nothing going on. We push you girls to see how much you like us. We like to see how much your willing to show us your into us. From here it branches off into a few directions. One, once they are satisfied with the girls attempts to make it apparent she's interested he will show that he is interested as well. Two, he won't be satisfied and he will wait to show the girl he's interested until she starts to drift away or show uninterest. Three, he will not ever become interested and let the girl drift away. Four, he will "play" the girl by showing increasing interest but never dating and getting her to do things with his influence from words and promises. We have many of those tactics ;)
Sometimes we notice the signs and it turns out we were completely wrong. Other times we notice the signs, and as soon as we show some interest back the girl completely changes her mind. Other times we don't notice the signs because they are so damn subtle.
A simple twirl of the hair means nothing in itself. Neither does a smile.
However, twirling the hair, looking at us, smiling, and keeping your body posture open will usually get the message across. Of course, as soon as the target of your affections talks to you, you'll lose interest. Or even if he makes a move too soon, or too late, or makes a simple mistake, etc.
So ya, aside from signs of interest, there are a million other signs that we just can't figure out.Shuba tell me more about india. They say the taj mahal is the greatest symbol of love ever built. Tell me how you feel about the taj mahal. And its symbolism. Do you think your country is more spiritual because of its age. Your country is thousands of year old Shuba while mine is only hundreds of years old. But our countries have one thing in commone. Diversity. We both have many different cultures that live in our 2 countries. I think America and India could learn a lot frome each other. Tell me more about your country. I can tell you of mine. Shuba tell me what you think heaven is like. Do you think I will see you there someday. Even though we may never meet on earth. Do you think heaven has movies and lemonaid I don't think I could live without refreshing drinks food and good movies. Lol
Lol, because if you think about it, lol, we guys first learns how to read other people's signs from sports when we're little. Look at baseball. When the pitcher looks at the catcher, the catcher holds his hand in a manner of showing 1 finger for a fastball, 2 for a curveball, 3 for a slider, and 4 for a change-up. . . something like that. And the opposing team will have different signs and signals, to confuse the other team. So we even try to confuse ourselves. Go figure, haha. But then we guys try to read girls signals and signs. Oh man, now how is a guy suppose to get home field advantage (know her signs, lol) if one girl twirls her hair as a sign that she likes a guy, and another girl could twirl her hair just to give her something to do while he figures out she doesn't like him. I don't know if this is even a home or away game anymore? Obviously I'm joking a bit but you can see the confusion.
Because what a lot of women would call "subtle", we would think of as "invisible". Obviously this varies from guy to guy, and some are indeed quite skilled at picking up signs of interest from the ladies. Personally, I'd like to improve in this area, as there have been times when I've been correct that a girl has been interested, as well as times when I believed there was interest when it turned out she was simply being polite/friendly. But a good rule of thumb is that the more obvious the sign, the easier the guy will be able to interpret it.
the so called "mixed signals" is to blame sometimes.
some guys don't know how to react to if "she is flirting with me" or "if its just having a good/fun time with her" and maybe because I'm still young and not too experienced with the ladies.. it can be confusing for us guys.
And if we think that you ARE interested in us, and if by chance you Weren't and just "having fun" and he tells you his feelings or that he likes you more than a friend, it could totally change the integrity of the friendship which would really suck because a friend is a friend, and it sucks to lose a good one.
Besides, some guys don't think too much of themselves and are not used to be liked by girls so I guess they would try and analyse the situation more closely.. could take a few days.. but there is some anxiety/fear of approaching a girl and saying " Do you wanna go out?" Or whatever line he memorized.Each girl is different and a guy may have encountered a girl before where your "advances" were just talk, you know the flirty type. You think they may like you so you show interest and get shot down. Guys learn and become atomically defensive and it confuses the hell out of them. That's why sometimes you have to spell things out for a guy.
Like Petertheniceguy said, sometimes we miss the signs.
Other times we get the signs but just assume that you are just flirting and not really interested. (Especially true if you flirt with other guys...)
Other times we may either not know how to respond or chicken out by thinking that it wouldn't work out (they think they are not worthy.)
If you want a more useful answer you could give an example situation.Like most of these guys have said. The sings, just aren't simple to see from our point of view. When it comes to picking up the signs guys are mentally stupid but girls you are also to blame. Like some of these other guys have said, one sign a girl uses to show interest could be something another girl is doing while she's bored in class. It all depends on the girl. Plus, if the guy does pick up the signal, he's not sure what to do. Should he ask you out? Do you really like him? Were you jsut toying with him? If I tell were what will happen to our friendship? Personally those have all been questios I have asked myself at one point or another. The guy doesn't want to make a move unless he is 100% sure that the girl is interested in him. The more obvious the sign the better
im so bad at this its scarey. There have been so many times in my life where if I were to look back now, I would have noticed the girl was interested, but I simply didn't catch it or thought they were just RLY outgoing/friendly. And yeah it be pretty embarasing to a dude if he makes a move on a girl only wanting to be friends and then things get rly akward.. like just now with me *cough*
Guys are afraid of being rejected so some won't ask you out unless they're completely positive that you like them. Flirting kinda expires too. Like if he knows you like him but you don't see him for 3 months, he has to start over seeing if you like him.
Most times guys are the ones confuzed about whether or not a girl likes them. Usually you have to give them a pretty physical sign like a long hug or a kiss out of nowhere lol. The kiss out of nowhere would blow a guy's mind trust me lol.
misinterpretations are usually the culprit, if you're able to read it correctly its as clear as a button, other than that, ull just get more confused and that leads to loss of interest
many girls think that what they do is very obvious.. when, to a guy its is SO subtle that we almost never catch it.
what are you doing that is going un-noticed?I love some of the answers so far, but I believe that to sum it all up you can just say:
Guys are naturally oblivious and often defensive. There really isn't any easy way to get us to realize sometimes, other times it is. But I offer you this, if you really like a guy, just keep throwing out signs and be patient - unless he rides the short bus eventually he will pick up on it :)Is because may girls are using the signs that other girls use to try and attract a guy, we would like something more than just a sign, maybe like a super long hug or a pop kiss in the mouth. Just something out of the ordinary
Because we are dense to the ways of women. They are way to subtle for us. Either that, or shyness or a lack of interest would explain it.
coz guys are the worst when it comes to reading body language
while on the contrary girls are quite good at itProbably because your signs are too subtle. Guys don't want to end up making an ass out of themselves if what they thought was a "sign" was really nothing. Be RIDICULOUSLY obvious, otherwise be very patient. Why not just ask the guy out? I think most guys respond best to things which are clear and direct.
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