Asking for a girls number?

Question

whenever I ask for a girl's number that I have a crush on or I'm flirting with, I always get some hesitation, then an okay. then when I call them, they don't pick up, LOL. so, whenever I ask to exchange numbers or to get their number, I'm waiting for that "UHHHHMMMM" always.

ladies, when there is a guy you like, how do you react when giving/exchanging info? do you just jump up without any awkward hesitation and give it to him, or are a little surprised and you hesitate a bit because you are shy? reason I'm asking is because next time I hear a "UMMMMMMMMM", I'm going to smile and said "never mind." lolol.

Answer 1

TheRealAttila | 80 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Xper 6

Dude there's an easy fix for this, almost a bit of a loophole. I used to ask for numbers, but it creates unnecessary stress for most guys. The way I get around it now is basically setting a date before I get it, not making it into some big deal like a lot of guys do.

So for example, say I'm having a great conversation with a girl and we're really hitting it off well. Once we get into some topic of common interest, I'll interject with something along the lines of "we should totally do _____/go ____ing (something related to what we're discussing-concert, bowling, camping-whatever) And of course because we're already getting along well she'll give an enthusiastic "omg yeah!". After that I take my phone instantly out and tell her to give me her number so we can figure out the details. They'll happily oblige 100%. Seriously, if you're good at reading people and gauging where they're at, this always works for anyone in really any situation, not just girls you're interested in.

Bottom line, don't make getting a phone number into a big deal, it's really just a necessary step in setting a date. Treat it more like an inconvenience and an afterthought than anything, as if she'd be crazy not to give you her number because of the awesome time she'd miss out on if she did. After that, the rest is easy.

Hope this helps.

Answer 2

InquisitiveMale

Guru

I've noticed the same thing. As a result I'll often drill a girl to see if she's just giving me her number because I asked or if she's giving me it because she wants me to have it. I'll often say things like "is this your real number? the one you actually answer? because if it's not I don't want it". Then when I call her if she doesn't pick up I'll leave a brief message saying I'll try again later. Then if she doesn't pick up the second time I'll leave it be.

I would say it's only 1 in 3 that actually pick up the phone.

Answer 3

confucious

Xper 5

When I like the guy, I have no hesitation. If there is a pattern where you get an 'ummm' followed by a rejection (not answering your call) then obviousy the next time you should just smile and say "never mind". The girl just doesn't want to reject you to your face-- I'm even guilty of that.

Honestly, I guess you've just been having bad luck with girls. Maybe it's not the fact your asking for their number but the lead into it... you have to gain her interest first by taking it slowly.. then ask for the number.. don't just expect it right away. This could even take a few days depending on the girl.

Or here's a tip: Ask her if she wants YOUR number.. then let her decide to call you. You may still get an 'uuummm' but at least you won't have to call and look like an idiot when she doesn't answer.

Sorry if I was a tad blunt.

But I do wish you the best of luck with the ladies! :)

sportdistant

+1 y
yeah honestly I tend to wait a bit before getting the number...if its a girl in class, or somewhere that I see her often, I wait awhile a try to build up some rapport then ask to exchange or to get her number...if its a stranger in a public place (where we may have a chance of not seeing each other again) I usually ask after a long convo to see how well we get along so far...
confucious

+1 y
If I meet a guy and we hang out for a while or have a long conversation then I would consider us friends and would give him my number. If he called me afterward I would be immediately turned off becuase I would be caught off guard. If he texted me then that's okay. but maybe that's just me. Do you get rejected when you text? maybe you come off too strong.
sportdistant

+1 y
i try not to text a lot, but I did once didn't get a text back...as far as coming on too strong, I've been told before that I'm not agressive enough or direct. I've missed plenty of chances and opportunities from being aloof or getting friend zoned because I try to be more reserved
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confucious

+1 y
try texting again. as lame as people think it is, its a good way to feel safe about starting a relationship. Of course, once things move forward then switch to calling. Either you have a problem reading girls cues or the girls you are meeting are just b**ches by leading you on and then ignoring you. Either way, switch up your pick up process every now and then until you have found one that actually works for YOU.

Answer 4

sportdistant

yeah honestly I tend to wait a bit before getting the number...if its a girl in class, or somewhere that I see her often, I wait awhile a try to build up some rapport then ask to exchange or to get her number...if its a stranger in a public place (where we may have a chance of not seeing each other again) I usually ask after a long convo to see how well we get along so far...

Answer 5

confucious

If I meet a guy and we hang out for a while or have a long conversation then I would consider us friends and would give him my number. If he called me afterward I would be immediately turned off becuase I would be caught off guard. If he texted me then that's okay. but maybe that's just me. Do you get rejected when you text? maybe you come off too strong.

Answer 6

sportdistant

i try not to text a lot, but I did once didn't get a text back...as far as coming on too strong, I've been told before that I'm not agressive enough or direct. I've missed plenty of chances and opportunities from being aloof or getting friend zoned because I try to be more reserved

Answer 7

confucious

try texting again. as lame as people think it is, its a good way to feel safe about starting a relationship. Of course, once things move forward then switch to calling. Either you have a problem reading girls cues or the girls you are meeting are just b**ches by leading you on and then ignoring you. Either way, switch up your pick up process every now and then until you have found one that actually works for YOU.

Answer 8

Anonymous

Flattered but also skeptical because I've given my number to guys who end up not calling at all.

The guy might offer his info either because he's shy or because he's cocky enough to think that all girls will call him... If' he offers his direct cell phone, I tell him that if he doesn't hear from me by [DATE X within a two-day period] he can reach me (and I give him my number). If he calls within that two-day period, I know he's serious about hanging out with me. If he doesn't, then he was just cocky and I don't have time for that.

To avoid "UM" just try using that tactic. "Exchange" numbers instead of just trying to get hers.

andre251

+1 y
"Exchange" numbers. I will try that word sometime soon. The choice of words in this case IS ALWAYS a big deal.
Opinion Owner

+1 y
I know. It's really based on all the insecurities we're trained to have about ourselves. "Exchange" usually works as it puts you on even ground rather than asking one person to sacrifice their information without consequence/care.
luvmachine77

+1 y
You sound like you know a lot of what is being talked about any more good advice.
Show All Show Less
Opinion Owner

+1 y
I just have equality and fairness on my mind when I interact with others. Unfortunately, just because I try to be fair and open with people doesn't mean they'll do the same for me.

Answer 9

andre251

"Exchange" numbers. I will try that word sometime soon. The choice of words in this case IS ALWAYS a big deal.

Answer 10

Opinion Owner

I know. It's really based on all the insecurities we're trained to have about ourselves. "Exchange" usually works as it puts you on even ground rather than asking one person to sacrifice their information without consequence/care.

Answer 11

luvmachine77

You sound like you know a lot of what is being talked about any more good advice.

Answer 12

Opinion Owner

I just have equality and fairness on my mind when I interact with others. Unfortunately, just because I try to be fair and open with people doesn't mean they'll do the same for me.

Answer 13

ScorpioDW

Xper 6

I usually hesitate before I give a guy my number, even if I like him and think he's cute. I think it's just because I'm pretty shy so I don't know about other girls lol but I never give out my number if I don't like him because that's mean to get his hopes up and then not even answer the phone, so if I don't want to give my number to him I just politely say no :)

sportdistant

+1 y
when you say no has there ever been any bad reactions? like a guy getting an attitude or somethin?
ScorpioDW

+1 y
Nope not yet, they were all fine with it, they understood that if I didn't want to give my number out then that was just how it was going to be, but if a guy do catches an attitude then I'm just going to walk away lol because a guy shouldn't catch an attitude because of that, it's not like I'm required to give them my number

Answer 14

sportdistant

when you say no has there ever been any bad reactions? like a guy getting an attitude or somethin?

Answer 15

ScorpioDW

Nope not yet, they were all fine with it, they understood that if I didn't want to give my number out then that was just how it was going to be, but if a guy do catches an attitude then I'm just going to walk away lol because a guy shouldn't catch an attitude because of that, it's not like I'm required to give them my number

Answer 16

Ugliness | 299 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Yoda

I think back to before my wife and I were dating.

I gave her my number. I asked for hers. I said "call me"

She never called. She never gave me her number.

So I went to the library. I had her first name. I had her home address.

I consulted the reverse phone book. I got her full name and her phone number by looking up the address.

So when I phoned her up she really freaked out. She had no idea I could get such information so easily and freely. But it worked. We started actually dating and then got married. A suggestion.

If the service is available in your area, enter *67 before you call her up. If it works where you are, it should beep (or whatever) a few times and you'll get another dial tone. Then call her up. It should block your number from call display in most circumstances and if she doesn't know it's - YOU - then you might have a better chance at her answering.

InquisitiveMale

+1 y
I had no idea you you could do that; block your number. interesting.
Ugliness

+1 y
It may not be available in all areas. When it first became possible we had to call up the phone company and request it (though it was free) but now it's available to everyone in the area code, maybe in the whole province.

Answer 17

InquisitiveMale

I had no idea you you could do that; block your number. interesting.

Answer 18

Ugliness

It may not be available in all areas. When it first became possible we had to call up the phone company and request it (though it was free) but now it's available to everyone in the area code, maybe in the whole province.

Answer 19

Hello_World10

Xper 3

If I like someone, I would give my number for contact to hang out or for a date. If it is for school work, I would say that. I have mislead many times because I give my number for the purpose of school related and then I get all these constant text and calls asking me for a date.

I have to understand you are not the only guys that ask or call. I sometimes have at least 3 guys calling and texting and some of them I didn't even give my number out. It is a small world in my major.

Answer 20

lapa5

Xper 3

Sometimes I get kind of embarrassed at a thought of saying yes directly and right away. I don't know why though. So if I like the guy, he will get an "ummm" first but a smile along with it.

When I don't like him and plan on rejecting him I am not nervous around him and I will do so directly and as politely as it can be done.

PS. I like the pic Jin and Fuu on your profile. ^.^

Answer 21

Anonymous

I have VERY MANY TIMES had a girl give me their number without hesitation. I often had them give it to me very happy and joyously. These girls STILL did not pick up OR they pick up and don't ever pick up again.

I guess the hesitation is just a sign that they have little interest. But besides that, the girl confidently giving their number does not mean much every time.

Answer 22

AmberChick

Xper 4

If we say ummm it means we weren't even sure at one point you were flirting with us and we could be taken aback by you asking, or we're not interested but don't let that stop you because there will be at least one girl who won't say ummm

Answer 23

heavenonearth

Guru

If I want him to have my number I don't hesitate, I just say "sure" with a smile and that's that. If I don't want him to have my number, I won't give it out. I'll just politely decline.

Answer 24

Yeahhbro | 602 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Yoda

forget about the ummm and any other factor like that, if a girl is answering your calls and accepting your advances to go out with you then he likes you, everything else its just nonesense

Answer 25

Quarty

Xper 5

I'm sorry to break it to you, but I always pause and say 'uhh' before answering 'sure!'. I do it because I don't want to come off as I've been pining over them and am too readily eager. I believe many other girls do the same.

Answer 26

Hellboa

Xper 4

ummmm means more as friends. Cause if I like a guy I'm like heck yeah! here it is :)

Answer 27

dudeman

Guru

I never had thst problem I just hand them my phome and tell them to put it in there girls like it when theyre told what to do

Answer 28

kimiii

Xper 4

If I don't want to give out my number to a guy I'm not interested in, I will say "Ummm" before saying yes. I don't want to give him the number, but I'm horrible at rejecting people or saying no, so usually he'll get it after some hesitation on my part. And after that, he's probably not going to get many callbacks or replies. I don't want to give him the wrong idea. Sadly, a lot girls aren't willing to flat out say stuff, and a lot guys don't pick up on the subtle hints.

Answer 29

Anonymous

Maybe girls just don't like you. :P JK

If a guy asked for my number and I actually liked him, I'd be psyched and give it to him without hesitation!

sportdistant

+1 y
lol thanks for that possibility

Answer 30

sportdistant

lol thanks for that possibility

Answer 31

Senses

Xper 3

maybe they do it cause they don't want to come off slutty/easy.

I would do the same, even when I liek the guy...

DocClassic

+1 y
as a guy, I say that's just an atrocious strategy
MrEM4N

+1 y
Lol. Guys would only think you're slutty if instead of giving me your number you get me a blowjob behind the liquor store. Numbers are innocent and playful.

Answer 32

DocClassic

as a guy, I say that's just an atrocious strategy

Answer 33

MrEM4N

Lol. Guys would only think you're slutty if instead of giving me your number you get me a blowjob behind the liquor store. Numbers are innocent and playful.

Answer 34

Anonymous

i think a lot of girls are just shy and wary, I know I am.

Answer 35

Anonymous

If I like a guy, I am more than eager to give him my number, no hesitation.

Asking for a girls number?

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