I think it depends on the confidence of the guy in himself.
Personally, my best friend is a girl, and I'm totally straight. And it's not because she's ugly, she's actually quite attractive, and when we first met, I definitely considered dating her, and even flirted with her, until she had enough and said she's not into me like that. No problem. After getting to know her, too, I realized that she wouldn't really make the best girlfriend for me, a little too aggressive for me, but our friendship now is extremely valuable and fun. We can talk about anything no holds barred, and ask genuine questions about what the other sex likes when it comes to our other dating. Plus, we each also get to have the benefit of having an attractive friend of the opposite sex, which I can say has also helped in dating a ton! And hanging out just as friends is just fun too.
I am totally confident in her as a friend now, and although she's attractive for sure, I don't have any feelings, and she doesn't either. If a guy is confident enough in himself to realize the true value of friends and know that there's always plenty of fish in the sea, he may be ok with being friends. Even more so if he thinks you are attractive, because having attractive friends is a freaking huge plus.
But these guys are hard to come by. Most have either caught too many feels and can't stomach being friends, or they for some reason they think being friends with girls makes them less manly. It also depends on the girl too. Sometimes even if you are totally cool with being friends, the girl still thinks you're trying to get with them. And for good reason, because as you can read with most of these responses a lot of guys can't get over the desire.
For me it's like this. Usually I like girls not just because I'm attracted to them but also because I have fun when I'm around them and this has noting to do weather I'm dating her or not.
Of course I'm disappointing and hurt if she rejects me I'd be laying if I said I wasn't but what is important for me is the way she does it. If she rejects me in a normal way and can still function normally I don't see a problem. But if she get's all wired and mean well then that's a deal breaker. But in time if she can cool off I have no problem re-initiating the friendship.
Of course I may still be attracted to her also but if she has rejected me that means I won't make any advances in that area. Well unless she might give me initiative to do that. But if it is a problem for her that is her problem and I can't do anything about it.
I've been friends with quite a few girls that I've been interested in over the years (in some I still am) and we've been good friends all these time. And to my surprise two of them had expressed that they too had feeling about me over the years and didn't know why they rejected me in the first place and that it might have been a bad judgment call because they didn't take enough time to get to know me better.
I was actually in a very nice relationship with one of them for some time but she had to move and a long distance relationship wasn't possible. But we're still very good friends.
So things aren't always black and white but they come in a shade of gray that's my opinion.
wow, I didn't know guys were so strict with relations
One can see it as, they are confident in getting someone else better or whatever they said?
Or it can also be seen as you don't want me? F***you! type of thing... like a bitterness or resentment
but I see how it is...
if you have feelings for a friend you cannot make a move and it makes you feel bad? How weird.
They don't respect the wishes of the person/opposite gender.
These answers are really interesting. All the guys are saying no, they can't be friends, but the girls are saying yes, they can.
I'm afraid I agree with the girls. If I like a guy enough to be interested in him as being more than a friend, then I'll like him enough to just be friends.
ive never done that to a guy. its childish. if you like someone enough to date them. you like them enough to be friends, unless ll you wanted was sex.
if a guy stops talking to you because you don't want to f*** him. he was never a friend. obviously.
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Can't speak for everyone, but I'll write down my personal experiences.
First, there is a girl that I was friends with, and was infatuated with. At some point I told I liked her, she was very nice and sweet but rejected me. I wanted to be friends still as I truly liked her as a person, but it was awkward for me to talk to her at first.
Regardless, at some point i realized the thought of her was driving me insane, so i cut contact and tried to banish her from my mind. To this day I still like her, but I can function and talk to other girls and even act normally around her.
Other than this girl though, I've been rejected quite a few times where I just felt like that that's fine, they work as friends too.
I lied, I'm going to propose a theory. (for fun tho)
In my opinion it comes down to how much the guy liked her as a girl, and how much as a person.
A friendship won't work if the guy sees her attractiveness as a base part of who she is unless he has an abundance mentality, where he goes: I could get another girl like her.
Guys and girls can't be friends without someone liking the other. You wouldn't talk to them in the first place if you weren't interested in some way. If your good looking, a guy isn't going to want to be friends. If you're not so good looking, friends all the way.
I've been rejected by every girl I've ever hit on. I've tried the rude approach, the nice guy routine, everything. My completion (as far as relationships go) rating is at 0%. Girls always slam the door in my face and have the same answer. As far as I'm concerned, women suck. And they wonder how nice guys get turned into a**holes. I'm one in development.
Many guys have learned that when you say "Sorry, I'm not interested in you.. but hey let's be friends!" it really means that they don't want to have anything to do with them but are letting them down easy.
Also, it's very hard to "just" be friends with someone you have deeper feelings for.
Because guys don't want to be friends with girls, they got guys for that. They want women for the romantic relationships, when you reject someone and perhaps they get hurt or just move on because what they were looking for is unavailable.
If I liked a girl romantically and she rejected me I wouldn't want to be friends with her either.
That's wise. They can't be friends with you if they want more, it just hurts them.
if you're decent looking and he's not sleeping with someone at least as hot as you pure platonic friendship is unlikely.
So, you slam the door in a guys face, and then you wonder why they don't keep on contacting you?
I thought the answer to that should be quite obivious.
Yes I was rejected by this one girl and ever since I stay away from her but yet she wants to stay in contact with me now does that make sense
if I'm interested in some chick I ask her out and if she says no, she's history.
when you say no to me you're done. even if you crawl back and beg.
the guys you know just don't want to be friend zoned. They hit on you, and if you don't like them, they move on. Can't blame them really - pure plutonic friendships can only exist temporarily after a guy jacks off - or with a homosexual.
I do, yeah. I don't see the point in trying to be friends with a girl that I wanted more from.
If she's still in my life, I might find it hard to move on to someone else.
if you don't thing I'm good enough for you to consider me datable why would I want to be associated with someone who thinks low of me?
I loved a girl... She don't ignore but she doesn't love me !! She says let's be friends!!! What should I do?
so why are you rejecting these guys?
Most of the time.
lol
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