You chose to not be her friend, now deal with that loss. That was all on you. To stay or not is your choice. But she is the one who is hurt the most. If you really cared about her or loved her you would respect her happiness. Don't expect her to want you as a friend again. If you in your in, and if you want to be out, stay out. She doesn't need more hurt and confusion. A real friend stays, even if he has to distance for a bit to let it go. A fake friend walks because he can't get into your pants and date you. I learned the hard way to remove such guys.
If she rejected you then it’s clear you asked her and are interested in her in an intimate/sexual manner. In my opinion, the reason why you’re “friends” with her, is so you can be there when she needs someone in an intimate/sexual way. If she breaks up with her partner, you’re there as some sort of rebound or comfort. Personally speaking, I wouldn’t be friends with a woman that rejected me. I also don’t think men and women can be friends in a platonic way, unless certain conditions are met. I don’t see myself being friends with a woman that rejected me unless I’m only being “friends” with her to put myself in a position to get with her when or if the time comes. This isn’t me though, so I’d just move on. Now, maybe you can be friends with her and she can introduce you to some of her friends?
Is there something about her that is appealing in an utterly non-sexual way? (A good question here to ask yourself is: "Is this someone with whom I could do business?" For example, if you were looking at buying a home one day, would you trust her as your realtor? Or some other question in that regard. Maybe as a student, you could ask yourself is she someone with whom you could get test answers.)
If the answer is yes, maintain the friendship, but only contact her about something relevant.
If the answer is no, then just move on and forget about her.
I understand why it'd be hard to be around someone after they reject you, but I lost a good friend that way. After telling him I wasn't ready to start dating again after a breakup, he stopped talking to me completely and It probably hurt me worse than it did him. It made me feel like he was only talking to me and pretending to be my friend so I'd date him. I almost wish I would've just dated him so that he wouldn't have disappeared because we had such good times together.
Opinion
41Opinion
And you did the right thing. Why keep her in your life in a moment of intense hurt?
I was exactly in that position and I also said "No", even though, it hurt so much. For me it was very hard to be a friend with someone you have imagined that you will live the rest of your life with, also pretending that I am okay while she is dating someone else will be very hard for me.
I really wished for her all the best and I wanted her to be happy. After a lot of thinking, I have realized 2 things
1) She deserves to be with someone who is better than me.
2) One of the manliest thing any man can do, is to let go and respect her decision.
If anyone asked me what was the bravest thing that I have ever did? I will say, respecting her decision and focusing on myself being a better person.
I don't see any issue to be as a friend of she rejects you. Having feelings for her is your love not her's. You built up feelings for her even assuming she would never reject you. Hence it is your problem to yake care of. At last you expressed your feelings to her and as she don't have any feelings on you, she rejects you. So, it's like going for a movie theatre hoping you would definitely get a ticket at the counter but you didn't. You will go back and go on with your normal life. Same case is with this, this rejection will not affect your life. Then what's the point in not accepting her as a friend. If you have a pblm, you need to deal. The girl might feel you as a good friend. It's not right to impose your feelings on others and hurting their feelings.
Only remain friends with her if you can do so without missing the idea of potentially being romantic with her, or bitter that she could be with someone else. Otherwise, your affection for her will easily turn to resentment.
You should do what ever you want. Wana stay friends , cool. But DO NOT expect her to fall in love with you, DO NOT get mad when it doesn't happen, DONT be a little punk ass always trying to get her when she has already clearly rejected you. Don't cry and whine and complain and blame her and what you think something called the friend zone is.
You really should move on just so you don't bug her that much really cause then you will just end up hating each other.
Sure... if you don't have any self respect...
''I miss her a lot and im really thinking about starting to talk to her again. ''
Above demonstrates an inability to enforce the boundaries that you set. This is usually linked to the unwillingness to sacrifice the instant gratification, you used to ger from the previous action.
No.
If you remain friends with her it is because you are hoping something will happen. This is going to cause you a lot of pain and resentment. I have been there before and it is a very miserable experience. Walk away and save your sanity and your dignity.
No!! Because you risk being friendzoned ( that is if you aren't already ), and it does nothing for your self-esteem as well as your emotional growth as a man. It also stops you from exploring your options of other women ( she may not want a relationship with you but she will destroy the chances for you because your not giving her the attention she needs ).
It depends on how the reject you if it’s a rude one then no however if it’s a nice one and them trying their best to not hurt you or soften the blow then of course because even so they still care for you right? It may seem awkward at first but after awhile it’ll go back to how it originally was
If you can actually just be her friend, why not? But if you can't just be her friend, not worth it. As much as it sucks, you can't control the way people feel about you. And you have to believe there's someone out there for you. Heck if you do stay friends with her maybe you'll meet one of her friends, that you connect with.
Thats a very hard position to be in You have to get round the feeling you want to be with her but to protect yourself you have to be honest Can you be her friend without feeling negative about her feelings for another Respect her decision from the honesty it came
Fuck no. Once she has rejected you and you still stick around, you are a SIMP. Trying to be her "friend" will only make her lose even more respect for you. My answer: Bang her sister and/or her best friend.
No. You did the right thing. It's unnecessary, suppressing and makes you miss out on other better ones out there. Give yourself some time. It'll pass.
No, tell her that you still have desire for her and if she rejects you again say "Hey, if you change your mind about how you feel give me a call" and walk away (don't to talk to her or contact her). She will admire you for that. And more importantly she'll respect you.
And over time her feelings for you will probably grow. And when old mate slips up. You'll the be first on her radar.
I highly respect men who can be friends with a girl who rejected him. It takes a lot of strength.
Better to move on. Maybe after you find a new love you could resume the acquaintance of your new girlfriend doesn't object.
No, give her space minimum a month. Send a text after 4 weeks, not just, Hi? Make your social blow up with fun shit, you're moving on and she'll see this and the thoughts will flow about if it was a mistake.. 👍
If you miss her, then be her friend. Your life will never be too busy or too full for too many friends.
It's up to you in the end, but if it were me I would just move on from the friendship. I'm sure you will make more friends along the way.
I don't ask my friends out on romantic dates, but I have dated girls where it didn't work out romantically but we did have fun and so we stayed friends. But I also have never pined over any woman so it has been easy to approach it all logically.
