Should we stay friends or I should avoid her?

[Anonymous]

I moved to a new city 3 months ago and for the last 2 months I was going out with this group of friends
I got really close to this girl and we were really close and we were meeting like 3-5 times a week sometimes for more than 5 hours
One day I told her I like her and I have feelings for her. she didn’t answer directly and she started talking about not wanting to have relationships (because of expectations) and how she never really had feelings for her exes and how one other guy in The group tried to kiss her but they still remained friends. and then she talked about monogamy and that she doesn’t want to commit to one person and it’s meant to happen that lots of guys will hit on her and that she will not be attracted to the same guy forever
We were heading to a club when I told her and she was smiling and grabbing me the whole time
I think she was just hinting a hookup but I didn’t notice cause I had strong feelings and I wanted to be with her in a relationship
Anyways I wasn’t really trying to sleep with her so I don’t really regret I missed the “chance”
She left things hanging for a few days and she was dealing like I didn’t say anything
Until I talked to her she said that “for now” she only like me as a friend

I realize we could never be together. I was trying to keep the friendship but I have been feeling heartbroken for the past 2 weeks
I can’t breathe well , I can’t think clearly and I feel that there is something crushing my chest
I try to act like everything is normal but it isn’t. I am no longer comfortable hugging or touching her or any other girl in the group
and every time I see her I get these crushing

I am trying to act very cool but I feel chest pain every time I see her
I don’t know If I should avoid seeing her for some time or avoid seeing her all together

I spent my 27 years avoiding dealing with emotions and this girl is the first I really felt strong feelings for and this my first time I feel like this

[ManOnFire]

I think you should avoid her. She sounds like she's just a girl who wants to play around with guys for sex, since she told you she doesn't really believe in being committed to one person and that it's supposed to be the case that a lot of guys hit on her. She just wants to have sex with many different people. That's a lifestyle she wants, and is obviously not what you want, and I wouldn't either.

I'm not going to tell you it's stupid to have fallen for her, because we all are going to get strong feelings for that one person here and there in our lives that will be particularly heavy, and I too have experienced that for some women in my own past. But my advice is to avoid her, yeah. She might not be a bad person, but what she wants to do with her life isn't lining up with your vision of dating and a relationship, and doesn't have to. If it's hurting you, walk away from it.