Drunk, Made Out with guy friend....now he's avoiding me! Help!

[Anonymous]

I've been friends with this guy for a few months, we have quite a few mutual friends which is how we met. My ex left me 2 months ago for another woman, and he knows about this and was appalled by it of course... Anyways over the last couple weeks we've been hanging out more and one night he came over with 2 of his friends and we drank...quite a lot actually. I thought it was weird he brought his friends because I thought he was coming alone. I've made it clear to him that I'm over my ex and I never complained/got bitchy about that stuff...although I did in front of some of our mutual friends before. Anyways, that night we drank a lot and his friends went home. We went into my room and both laid on the bed because we were tired. We both looked over at the same time and started making out. We stayed up pretty late, and he wanted to touch me but I wouldn't let him because I told him that I like him and I wanted to go slow. He said that was fine... and said some really nice things (they seemed to be at the time) like how he's a good boyfriend and about how he'd been thinking about me for a while. Anyways I had to get up early for work (and he KNEW that, and I told him I can't phone in sick)...so I left for work that morning and he left shortly after I'm assuming. Anyways since then I've tried texting him to hang out and he always seems to have an excuse NOT to. Today I asked him what was up and he said he was working. I asked him if he wanted to hang out later and he never replied! Anyways it's been 4 days since this night and I don't know why he's acting weird...maybe he didn't mean what he said or maybe he thinks I'm rebounding? I don't know. I just don't want to look too eager/ waste my time...but I like him, so should I be patient?

Updates

+1 y

Well I texted him a few days ago on his birthday.. and I wished him a happy bday and I hope things weren't weird now. Asked him if we're still friends and he said of course we are. Still haven't seen him since that night so I think he's kinda scared? lol

[Anonymous]

The reason he has not got back in contact with you is because he feels akward about what happend and is not sure how to act around you at the moment. He probably feels that it was a spur of the moment thing and is worried about hurting you because he only wants to be friends and nothing more.

Because of the hurt which you have been through he is probably really worried and not sure how to approach you about the subject and let you know how he feels. He also may not want to be more than friends because he is worried about messing up and loosing your friendship, if you go further and it does not work out then you loose a partner as well as a friend.

The best thing you can do is give him some space, don't contact or see him for a week or so. This gives him a chance to think things through and also a chance for you to think about how you feel and what you want. After this thinking session and space, message him and let him know that you understand if he wants to just be friends and you are happy to do that rather than loose him completly. After you have sent this meesage, do not make any more contact until he gets back to you and if he does not get back with you then you need to forget about him and move on because he clearly is not a good friend and you can do better than that. I know its hard but you can do it. Just spend time with your friends and keep your self busy and you will meet someone else.

[Asker]

Thank you, this makes a lot of sense! I don't want to lose him as a friend, and I can understand if he doesn't want to ruin things. I also know that he was in a very bad relationship not that long ago...

I'm just hoping he's mature enough to see that this whole thing isn't worth throwing away our friendship! Well I'll try what you suggested and see what happens!

The only thing that has me confused still is why he was talking to me kinda "mushy" that night. Maybe he doesn't know what he wants?

[Anonymous]

I am in the same position and it feels pretty crappy since I haven't had a chance to speak to him about it. I'm so confused too since he's one of those pretty mature type and I genuinely can't blame the booze either.