Girls, am I just reading into things or is this really mixed signals?

[TerryAtlas]

So there is this girl, who I met who, we hung out for a while, and eventually I told her I had feelings for her. She said she thought we should just remain friends and I was cool with that. Normally open and shut case. Time goes by and she stops talking to me as much eventually kinda ghosting me for a month. I was honestly just starting to forget about her. Then out of nowhere she starts texting me (she never texts first even back then) and responds that she wants to make plans to meet me. Even says she’ll work longer hours to see me at her job. Then we see each other, and pretty quickly after it goes back to the old routine of minimal responses. I don’t know if she just wants to be friends or what but it’s got me all sorts of tilted, what do you think?

[PrettyPriya]

Sounds like she isn't sure what she wants right now. I am assuming she is around your age. If so, probably that is what is happening. She might have interest in spurts because she is busy with school and other things.

She gets excited and wants the attention and then gets bored. I would just view her as a friend if I were you. I don't see that sort of behaviour changing if she keeps on doing it to you.

At the very least, she doesn't seem ready for a relationship, even if she thinks she wants one at certain times. My guess is that if you were to get into a relationship with her, it is going to be this back and forth.

So, just remain friends and if she ends up being more consistent with the way she acts towards you, then you can reevaluate if a relationship is a possibility. I would assume it is early in the school year and maybe she just needs some time to get her head straight.

[TerryAtlas]

She is just weirdly friendly in person and then the opposite over the phone, and I would feel pretty hellish asking her if she’s interested a second time only for me to have massively misread the situation and hurt the friendship because of it

[PrettyPriya]

@TerryAtlas Could it be that she just isn't into chatting on the phone? It is entirely possible. Just like some people are rubbish with texting.

Is it different through text by chance?

[TerryAtlas]

Yeah very, slow to respond, usually one word sentences that sort of thing

[PrettyPriya]

@TerryAtlas And in person it is totally different?

[TerryAtlas]

Yeah she’s talkative and usually pretty bubbly

[PrettyPriya]

Okay, so this sounds more like she isn't real into communicating over the phone, via text or talking. Some people are just like that. They lose interest and run out of things to say, which means it can get awkward.

If she is bubbly and happy in person, that shows there is interest there and she much prefers face to face than over the phone. At least, that is my guess.

[TerryAtlas]

I would think the same thing if she hasn’t had spurts of seemingly good communication over text, like when she first reached out just week or so ago, she was responding quickly and seemed to keep up conversation, then when I saw her in person again it just went back to normal

[PrettyPriya]

Yeah, but you never know if she had a bad day, was busy or thinking about other things. It is really hard to interpret people's emotions through the phone, even more so through text.

It is really easy to let your mind play tricks that she isn't interested because that is your concern.

[TerryAtlas]

I suppose, I don’t know, she’s already said no once, it was just this weird renewed interest after a decent amount of silence that made me question things, now I don’t know to ask her again or not

[PrettyPriya]

Honestly, with the back and forth and indecisiveness she shows, I wouldn't ask again but wait and see what she does. If she is really interested, she will show it.

Think about if you are interested in someone like you are with her. You want to keep trying. If she doesn't have that same desire, probably just views you as a friend and you have your answer. You don't want to be with someone that doesn't have the same level of interest that you have.

Trust me. Doesn't work out well. You both need to be invested or you are just in for heartbreak.

[dustybiker]

Probably boils down to wanting to give it another chance with you, but still not feeling it. Doesn’t mean anything is wrong. If it’s not there it just isn’t.

[TerryAtlas]

Wdym give it another chance? Just as like friends?

[dustybiker]

Maybe she wanted to see if you talked again she might feel a romantic spark. Doesn’t sound like she did. At least you gave it another try.

[TerryAtlas]

Wouldn’t recommend it lol all it did was make me sad

[dustybiker]

True, but you’ll get over the sadness and forget eventually. Regretting not giving it another try lasts a lifetime.

[Bethany22]

She just wants attention from you

[TerryAtlas]

Yeah I get the same vibe but she does weird things in person that I can’t tel if she’s flirting or not, like she wanted me to share her drink and I can’t tell if she’s just being very friendly or something more

[Anonymous]

She is wanting attention from you.

[TerryAtlas]

But why just attention lol, and why not just tell me that :/