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I think that if she's unbelievably rude in the way she says "no" then yes, I think it's ok to ignore her.
I usually don't take a rejection personally, and I figure that just because she said "No" to a date doesn't mean I can't say "Hello."
I never got the whole "It's girlfriend, family, or nothing!" idea. If you DO have women friends, then aren't you putting in time and effort into someone who isn't interested in you?
I don't even look at a first (and only) date as a "waste of my time," even if I never see her again. I had coffee, it was good; I learned we weren't compatible, and I wish her the best. I put a small amount of time into something that... probably wouldn't pan out. I get not groveling, or putting energy into someone who is going to be toxic, but I don't get the idea of "Why bother putting in the time if it isn't going to immediately work out the way I want?"
I've got a "friend" who barely speaks with me these days. She basically puts me off. It's disappointing, but I don't look at knowing her (years ago) as a waste of my time. It may be disappointing, and I may not get why it happened, but... oh well. Even if the friendship has fizzled, and I never see her again, she's never been a waste of my time.
I am barely friends with most of the guys I hung out with 6 years ago. We'd spend hours playing Halo. I don't get to play Halo much, and I can't say I'm any better (or worse) for putting in the time. I don't speak with most of these guys... but I don't see any of that time as a "waste." It was a lot of time spent. It's one of my happiest memories - one I wouldn't trade.
It takes a big betrayal for me to look at friendship (or getting to know someone) as not worth putting in the time.
Valid points Dave, you've given me plenty of food for thought to digest.
Any woman who rejects you as a romantic partner, yet still wants to be friends, is playing games with you. It will only hurt you emotionally to stick around. She'll get attention, and you'll get frustration.
I know pal. That's why I hit the ignore switch.
Best answer.
This post just gave me diarrhea
The truth hurts.
That's a very rude comment and I think you ought to apologize.
I think the dude is bang on the money.
Excuse me, but that is extremely silly. I am honestly not sure how you didn't grow past this level of thinking by the time you were 20. Haven't you had any female friends with whom you knew that living together would never work out, but you still liked them as a person? I wouldn't want to be with every girl either, it is unreasonable to expect that a girl would be interested in intertwining their lives with yours just because you felt like it.
But why should I show the same level of interest after she rejected me? She has the right to reject me and I have the right to walk away and focus on other women.
I speak from experience. When one person is interested romantically, and the other just wants to be friends (and honestly this goes both ways... either gender can do this), it's better to just walk away. I had a lady who had shown interest in me suddenly break it off, saying she wanted to be friends. She still wanted to do things with me, but with nothing romantic involved (with the possibility of something *maybe* developing in the future). It is very, VERY hard to just be "friends" when one person desires more.
I couldn't agree more.
Abso-fking-lutely. I was told once she wanted to still be in my life/be friends n spoke to me then didn't then did then didn't etc, happened a second time round with someone else, after that it happened again with someone else, now i dont bother with that friendship crap. I think ots bring reasonable. They also tend to do that so they can see if your still interested so they can boost their ego. by the way thats for girls and guys
The worst thing in the world is seeing someone you love, loving someone else - Unknown
"with the possibility of something *maybe* developing in the future"
Yeah, don't do that. Either yes or no. Maybe is equal to "no".
Yeah so Mesonfielde, why should you be friends with a girl who rejected you?
You are jumping between extremes. Being friends with someone consentually is a "yes" for friendship, and "no" for romantic relationship. "Maybe" is just toying with someone's heart. Even if they reject you for romance, they can still be valuable as people. You don't cut guys out of your life for not dating you either, and you can see the importance of friendship relations with them. It's not gender-specific unless you make it so, but that's a limitation I'd rather not support.
Acceptable? Well, technically you can do whatever you want to do. But is it rude and unnecessary? Yes. Unless she was mean to you and acted rude, I don't see any point in ignoring a person completely. So what, if she comes up to you afterwards and wants to talk to you like a normal person, you'd just look away and pretend that she's not there? Yeah, that's rude. And kinda pathetic, honestly. You're putting in just as much effort into ignoring her as you would if you'd just talk to her like a decent person.
Also, girls are more than just potential love interests. Newsflash: you can have ACTUAL conversations with us even though we're not interested in dating you! Wow!
Seems to me like you're just taking rejection way too personally. You're overreacting.
If she comes to talk to me I wouldn't ignore her.
Yeah sorry about that, I won't go out of my way to speak to her and I'm pretty happy that this girl is intimidated of me and keeps her distance.
Then that's fine. You don't have to force yourself to talk to her. As long as you can still be nice and still respond to her if she wants to talk to you, it's fine. It's the whole "I'm gonna ignore you forever and ever and ever and ever" thing that puts me off lol. But since you just clarified that you wouldn't do that, then all's good.
Well I don't see why there would be a problem if I never wanted to speak to her again. It's my right after all.
Like he said, if she's not interested in him, why should he be around her It's his life and he can do what he wants. I think you're the one overreacting. People shouldn't be so rude -_-
It would be a problem if you actually went out of your way to ignore her. Like the example I already mentioned, where she comes up to you and wants to talk, and you pretend she doesn't exist. That would just be unnecessarily rude. But you already said you won't do that, so there's no problem.
BeingAGirl_xx, clearly you haven't read everything I've said...
I understand your point of view, she does seem to be trying to get me to talk to her. Like yesterday she walked over to the bin I was standing next to when there was a bin where she was. She has also come and stood next to me before without looking at me or making eye contact. So odd.
Well, it depends. If it helps you move on, then yes I believe it is okay. However, don't be rude if she rejects you. I'd say ignoring is okay, if it makes you feel better. But if she tries talking to you, make sure you don't ignore her, pretend she isn't there, etc. But you're right. There is no reason to put time in effort for someone who won't do the same.
She doesn't talk to me as she is shy and is incredibly intimidated by me. She saw me walking towards her and she dropped a load of pens on the floor, picked them up and then took off in the opposite direction.
She seems like a weirdo.
Are you sure she regretted you? It sounds like she's just very shy. With girls like that you have to takes things slow. If I were to ask her out and she said no, I'd be interested to know she reason why. Basic on the way she reacts when she sees you tells me that me very well may like you.
She brushed me off bro which is fine, I am not entitled to a girl just cos I like her.
Also I don't know why she gets in that state, I'm not a Messiah or some shit ya know.
If she's walking away and she's not shy, then its just plain rude. You shouldn't bother if she's going to walk away when she see's you.
I've got no idea, I wasn't walking towards her to speak to her, I had to head in that direction to go to my next lecture.
It's understandable but personally I think it's very childish. You've taken the time to get to know each other, maybe it was just a bad time, maybe she isn't over her ex, whatever the reason it's a bit of a toddler thing to do to stamp your little food and turn around because a girl said no.
Girls can be more than a walking pussy you know.
Point taken.
*Foot sorry. Damnyouautocorrect...
The only reason I'm ignoring her is because one day she blows hot and then cold and I'm not going to tolerate shitty behaviour which means that because of her behaviour I will just keep my distance and ignore girls in the future who reject me.
That's a different question to the one you posed. I read through a couple of the comments and you said she was polite when she rejected you. Going with what you put in the question, this answer is fitting. Going with what you've just told me, your behaviour is more understandable.
But I try and be the bigger person in most situations.
I wouldn't have chosen to ignore her and other women if they didn't make the aftermath of a rejection unbearably awkward. I get that a lot of women aren't going to be interested in me and that's cool, I am not arrogant enough to think that I'm God's gift to women, so while rejection hurts, I get over it and I am more than capable of being cordial. But women seem to have a bigger issue with rejecting guys than most guys do.
It depends on the manner in which she did it. If she was harsh, stay away from her. But if not, then don't take it personally. Just back off and start seeing other people, she might realize her feelings for you in the meantime and come back.
Best of luck :)
She was polite and asked me if I was alright.
Well then, I wouldn't just flat out ignore her! If you need a little space, just be kind and let her know. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you. Like I said, stop pursuing her and start seeing other girls. If she comes back to you, then it might work. But if not, just see other people. Get a MeetMe account; I was convinced to get one after a friend of mine showed me hers. I'd been mourning my ex for 5 months... Needless to say, I started seeing how true the phrase "there are other fish in the sea" was, and started thinking of my ex less and less and talking to others :) Just be safe on it though :)
And PS- I'm not advertising, just helping lol
Opinion
27Opinion
It's okay to ignore her, but you might be missing out on something. She may not be interested in you sexually, but she could be a good friend.
I agree with the woman. That probably is making you look even worse in the eyes of other women, a turn off.
You are far better off taking the rejection, and standing there with confidence as if it didn't phase you, but regarding it as her truth in the moment. Women change their minds. That shows you have strength, are not messed up by the womans manipulation, instability and mood swings... you know women can be bitchy and moody right? They love the idea that the guy won't run when they are whom they are... makes them feel secure. If they feel secure, they feel attracted.
you are messing up and got it wrong...
If you're mad or hurt that they rejected you so you ignore them for a little while, that's natural and understandable.
You don't have to go out of your way to socialize with them, but if you refuse to say another word to then ever again, you're probably being passive-aggressive and spiteful (like you're trying to punish them for rejecting you).
She doesn't speak to me so why should I speak to her, I owe her nothing.
If she talks to me, I'll respond to her in a civil manner, but I won't go out of my way to talk to her.
I agree with you, when you asked her out and she said no, it told you she wasn't interested so why bother being interested in her anymore when you know for certain she's not into you. Its a waste of time and energy to give her anymore thought after that. Besides what would your friend propose to do instead? try to befriend her? keep crushing on her? nope when you get rejected you move on. Its as simple as that.
She thinks I should be friends with her because she might want to get to know me better and might change her mind, but I am not interested in any of that shit.
Not really. if she rejected you, she probably doesn't want to speak to you anyway.. I wish more guys would do this, actually.. it's so awkward having to talk to guys who I've rejected.. and it's annoying too because they're still holding onto a glimmer of hope that they can somehow get out of the friendzone
What's a friend zone?
friendzone is when a girl rejects a guy by saying "i don't like you in that way "
I see, so what's rejection then? I'm confused, I have never subscribed to this friend zone stuff as I don't bother with a girl once she has rejected me. I just act as though she doesn't exist.
You don't have a woman friend, and you're a fucking puerile dipshit if you think your asking someone, means they cannot say "no".
That sort of shit is only done by fuckwits who's parents have never told them what "no" means.
Perfectly acceptable. She wasn't obligated to date you, and you're not obligated to continue talking to whom you don't want to.
I concur.
Depends. If it's a girl yuo hardly know or you don't see her often I don't see any problem with it. If it is someone you HAVE to interact with (e. g. a coworker) its kinda rude because you are just giving her a hard time. If it's a friend and you ignore her for not beeing attrackted to you, then your a shitty friend.
I see her about here and there.
Well technically if you can just cut them out of your life like that, then you never really liked them as a person anyways. So it's for the better, so that they can find someone who doesn't think of them as anything more than a potential sex object.
Oh hardly, she turned me down, what am I supposed to do? Thank her for the experience? Kiss her ass and plead with her to friend zone my ass. Maybe I can visit her, pop on a dress and help her apply her make up. Best friends for life...
Living together with someone and having sex aren't the only things people can be good for, you know. You would need to marry every single person in order to have friends to chat and hang out with if that was the case.
I'm not interested in being friends with women.
Thinking of female human individuals this way certainly contributes to your lack of unsuccessful inter-gender social relations.
May be but I have two female friends and that's cos I have no feelings for them, so it works. It wouldn't with this girl because I am attracted to her.
I can't even imagine a well-functioning romantic relationship that isn't based on friendship. And then people wonder why the rates of breaking up and divorce are so high. I wouldn't want to live with someone I don't even know.
You forge a friendship when you get into a relationship.
I guarantee more people end up in the friend zone than married and divorced.
Also what numpty gets married nowadays. Marriage never benefits a man, so you'd have to be pretty darn stupid to marry someone.
I'm lazy and monogamous so if I could then I'd rather not want to switch partners around, so marriage wouldn't really bind me from anything that I actually want. I don't really want to start making out with someone I've just met on a train claiming that it's a "relationship". Done that once, it was really stupid.
You're going through extremes. Dating is all about getting to know someone and determining if you are suitable for each other. You can then enter a relationship and build solid foundations that way.
In that case, the act of dating itself is the reinforcement of the initial bond, which could count as friendship on its own. If you know each other sufficiently, anyways. Right? Wrong? it seems to me that during artificially constructed scenarios where people are putting up acts, you don't really get to know the other person in a natural setting.
But then if you become friends with a girl you like, you are being deceitful aren't you?
I think we have a significantly different definition of "friendship". In my eyes, a romantic relationship is a step above friendship, and not mutually exclusive. Basically a romantic relationship is an "exclusive/monogamous friendship with benefits relation" with extra doses of affection and attention.
Evidently...
I'm not being deceitful by liking someone as a person, but not seeing them as an eternal person I'd live in the same house with and live together with and have children with and yadeyadeyada. And if someone says they don't see me that way, nothin' I can do about it tbh. If they're cool enough, I'd keep them as friends, considering I shouldn't have been too interested if I didn't remotely appreciate their persona to begin with.
i am not a fan of the silent treatment at all, so i'd say no but it happens all the time so i guess its acceptable
i personally would just go on with my life and do my thing but i'd say hi or something if i saw them, i am not that rude
I suppose I could say hello, I mean it won't kill me right?
Why would you chase someone that Rejected you? I don't think your being mean or stupid, if I get rejected I wouldn't ever speak to that person again unless if they start chasing me and apologize too
In fairness she has nothing to apologize for, I just don't see the point of lingering around someone who isn't interested in you. It's akin to a smelly eggy fart that just lingers in a particular area for a finite amount of time.
I am not I was intrigued, I am an inquisitive person.
Rejection can hurt pretty badly, and it can lower one's self-esteem. So if you feel like ignoring her makes you feel better, then go for it!
It doesn't make me feel better, it's just I don't see any point in being around her or speaking to her. She's not interested in me, so why should I show any interest in her.
That's right!! Why be around somebody who's not interested in you?
"A woman friend of mine thinks that I'm being stupid and taking rejection too personally by doing that"
It depends on the situation. How are you still in contact with the woman who rejected you?
If you two were friends first then you completely drop her when she rejects you it might hurt her feelings but you should cope how you need to
We weren't friends.
Then she shouldn't complain
She keeps trying to get my attention by walking towards me, past me deliberately, but says nothing, so I just ignore her as she is clearly bonkers.
Attention whore with no regards to others feelings
Yes and that's why I'm ignoring her.
If she's rude, sure. If she's in your social circle and politely declined then you're taking it too far. There's no "time and effort" involved in being civil to others.
I don't have a problem with that, but a woman who has rejected me previously is much more attractive to me, because I know she's going to make work harder to please her.
because just dropping someone out of your life completely, especially if they were once a friend, just because they didn't want to date you is an asshole move.
Oh, it's totally acceptable. Why keep a reminder around that you've been rejected? just next her and move on.
NO!!! You have got to show that girl that you are perfectly fine without her. Dont show weakness! It is also pretty childish if u do that and im 16 bro just sayin.
You can still be friends with someone who doesn't fancy you! If you get on well then it's still possible to remain friends
Ignoring her, would be ok. However, if for example, you were going to her work to see her because you liked where she worked, she might feel slighted that you will no longer show up (she loses a client)
I don't like it that happened with a guy before I wasn't ready for a relationship he got mad and ignored me
What happened? Did you chase after him and pursue him over land and sea?
What -_-
No I just wasn't ready and told him
How I felt
So nothing happened afterwards? No date, no change of heart? He just ignored for good?
No we were far from eachother we were texting and then he said if i would visit when I was in town I said ok, but he had a baby plus I felt he didn't really care for me I even asked if he wanted to come visits me "jokingly" and he said yea then he was only kidding
Oh dear and all because you rejected him?
He blocked me and wouldn't return my texts so I let him go
Yeah I don't blame you, but I'm pretty sure this girl doesn't like me, she probs thinks I'm butters and that's it.
I'm in the middle. Awknowledge them if you run into them, but don't go out of your way.
Only if she acknowledges me first.
That's a good rule of thumb.
She never speaks to me anyway, she seems too shy and uncomfortable around me, always has done and probably always will do.
Oh well, tons of other people to talk to, right! :)
Yeah man, I don't know she's like that around me though lol.
Be Civil. Shows Good Manly ship. xxoo
It’s definitely acting out. Lol 😂 man child 😂😂 didn’t get your way so you act like a retard. That’s how lots of guys are so she’s probably just laughing and knowing she dodged a bullet
It’s your right but you are being kind of a jerk
Yes, I think it's totally fine. I'd ignore someone who rejected me, too.
Maybe she's insecure that's why she rejected u.. I'm one of the girls who would reject a guys first try to get with me, even if I had a super crazy crush on him.. try one more time and if she did it again then YES ignore her!
Am I the only person who sees no logic in this whatsoever?
No logic, guys are lazy prideful creatures. Once rejected, that is it. Unless they are beta meles and linger around for false hope. Some girls and their stupid games. Waste of time when there are someone else more deserving out there.
Males* damn phone
Yeah, Just treat her like she does not exist.
no ignoring is worse penalty u can do to someone. she didn't do nothing wrong to deserve it. she just did what she feels is right. refected u
I mean I dont blame you. This way you won't be friend zoned so its kinda smart tbh
If she walked away then move on and don't waste your time with her. Move on and be happy , show her you dont need her
I like your spirit and that's what I intend to do.
Pardon Sandy what are you referring too?
Extremely acceptable. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.
You are right my friend.
You are not obligated to be friends with her.
She is acting bitch.
Do whatever you want bro it's your life. Ignore her and make her feel shitty about herself.
Many times friendship doesn’t work for guys
Totally acceptable. Just don't be a d*** about it.
I agree. Ignore anyone who says otherwise.
You are right, you shouldn't
Completely acceptable.
I couldn't agree more, ignoring is just so easy and is clearly the best option.
It is sensible
No. Ye can still be friends!
Yes but I doubt she'll care
It is, I do it...
What do you do when that girl starts trying to get you to speak to her, do you just carry on ignoring her?
She doesn't speak, she's just there.
I don't, I just find her behaviour to be akin to someone with a mental disorder.
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