Playing hard to get: Short texts vs ignoring?

[Anonymous]

I'm a guy and trying to get out of the friend zone with a girl. The only way to do this is NOT be a friend, real simple.

So should I either ignore some texts, or respond with short responses that won't continue a conversation?

Short texts

Ignore

Other (post what)

Updates

+1 y

Thanks for the quick replies


I already did tell her I liked her, but she told me she's currently "Talking to" another guy for quite some time now so she only wants to be friends with me.


technically she's single... so the fact the won't drop him for me means I'm not good enough. That's why I'm curious if I should ignore or send short texts to cause some interest

[HeyHiHelloo]

I think that's an awful idea.. Be upfront and honest with her. When guys play "hard to get" with me I lose interest. If you're already friends, just tell her you've developed feelings for her. That you want to know if she could see you as anything more.. or just as a friend. My best guy friend tried this "game" with me and it only pissed me off. After he told me our friendship became stronger but I just couldn't see him in that way.

[Anonymous]

Just tell her you want to be more than friends. If you already have and she said no, then just tell her you can't be friends with her because you like her, if that's how you feel.

Ignoring her or being short is childish and cowardly - but I will say this, ignoring her WILL get you out of the friend zone, but you won't get a date out of it either.

[lilagirl]

She is not interested if she said that. That is exactly what I tell guys I am not interested in and I am not lying about the other guy. She is being upfront with you. Respect that.

[Asker]

Wait, so you're not lieing about the other guy, so you ARE "Talking" to another man and letting the guy who approached you down easy?

[Asker]

Does the guy who approached you have a chance in the future if something doesn't work out with you and the guy you're "Talking" to? Or will the guy never have a chance?

[lilagirl]

Yes I am letting him down with telling him the truth. I could just lead him on without telling him I am involved with another man but that's not the way to go about it. She is being honest with you. She may or may not consider you in the future if her current man is not worthy. Don't completely let her out of your life just yet. But realize that she is NOT thinking of you as you are her.

[Asker]

Alright, thank you for your viewpoint :)

By the way it's been about 2 month since she gave me the light rejection of "Well I'm talking to this other guy now" and we've become good friends.

Should I stay being her friend, or back off? She still knows I like her based off my actions. And yes she's still "Talking" to that other guy =\

[Asker]

My friend told me it's a major green light that she's still talking to me, even texting first(although no flirting) while she's still not "official". Apparently this guy is "putting it off and acting weird and distant about it"

Also my slightly flirty comments don't bother her and she continues the convo as normal

[lilagirl]

I would say she sees you more as a friend. She seems to really likes this other guy. She also knows she has basically two guys after her. From what you said she seems to be all over him and not you. And yet you are giving her the most attention assuming from that he is being distant. Try and be distant towards her. Don't be a jerk but also open your heart and eyes to some other women. You may realize she was not all that anyways :)

[Asker]

Can I get her to stop seeing me as a friend? How so? would being distant help?

[lilagirl]

Yes I think showing her that she isn't everything(even though in your eyes she is :) ) but if you start living your own life and having her aware that you don't depend on her she would want to be the center of attention again. Right now she knows she can have you whenever. Keep her guessing.

[Asker]

Alrighty, thank you so much. I'll be sure to reply here if I need more help!

2 quick things

1: when she texts me.. do I keep it light and short and no conversation provoking? or ignore?

2: what about when I see her at work? maybe act fun and energetic as if nothing is wrong, then basically do as you suggested and keep distance when she texts me so she begins to "miss" me?

[lilagirl]

Yes act fun at work! Flirt with her even. But with texting keep it short. Do not ignore her! Keeping it short lets her know you make time for her and care for her yet it shows you are busy with other things. She will love it at work because she is getting attention but she will also wonder why you aren't making her your everything.

[Asker]

And exactly how long do I keep this up for? Untill she starts to show obvious signs back? I mean it's obvious the balls in her court.. maybe I should try asking her out again? ha ha idk

yes I'll still talk to other girls, don't worry about that! But there's never any harm in keeping a girl on your radar "just in case" :p

[lilagirl]

I don't think there should be a calendar goal to this. Over time you may lose interest and she may gain interest. It could go either way. I would say ask her out again if she hasn't blown you off in the past two weeks or so.

[Asker]

By the way this is another thing that piqued my interest... should I ever text first, and then end the convo short/fast to get her thinking about me?

Like a couple nights ago I sent a semi-flirty text, it kinda backfired due to a slight misunderstanding, but then she proceeded to go "Hey did you hear of that new band __?" and I simply replied with close ended statements/short texts that night instead of being her "gay best friend" ya know?

[Asker]

or let her do all the texting?

[lilagirl]

Try calling her more. Texting can be misunderstood, can get boring, and is time consuming! If you two text a lot back off a lot. Don't text her a lot anymore. Wait till she texts you and she will.

[Asker]

We never really talk on the phone much =\

Also should I fake being busy and just reply with "sorry I'm busy, ill look into __ later". or just continue doing as you said and reply short?

[lilagirl]

Reply short and sometimes "miss" the text. But really call her more. It means a lot more than texting.

[Asker]

By the way... she usually texts me something random, not really any kind of conversation opener.

IE: She'll text me "Hey, __ just happened at school today", not really any "Hey, watcha up to?" ya know? I suppose I'll reply short since she doesn't give me anything to work off of, and it's true... I shouldn't have to put forth effort into conversing with someone that's not reciprocating :P

Also if I call her that means I'll have to have a convo with her.. aren't I supposed to avoid that outa work?

[lilagirl]

You are putting wayyyy to much effort into this! Take what advice I gave you and go off that. Everything will fall into place especially if you aren't working too hard at it.

[Asker]

True... the funny thing is there's an old saying "He who cares least, gets the most p*ssy" LOL guess it's true

[kdizzleforizzle91]

If you want to be more than friends, then ignoring her won't increase your chances of that happening. The whole playing games thing, like hard to get, doesn't really work.

[lilagirl]

Do not play games. Be honest with her. Ignoring her won't help and short texts will make her believe you have other interests. Flirt with her.

[HottDoll]

Tell her