Your old crush from high school contacts you after 3 years? How would you react?

[Anonymous]

I want to contact an old crush from high school. She had a crush on me as well. We were both very shy. I was a nervous wreck around her so nothing happened. I'm a lot more confident now but I've regretted it ever since.

My only way of contacting her is through a message on Facebook. I don't want to spook her. I would love a reply from her.

What should I say to her?

Would you be flattered or creeped out?

I need girls opinions but guys are welcome to give theirs as well.

Updates

+1 y

I'm going to wait until summer to contact her. She'll be back in my hometown then. I figure it will be more meaningful then especially if she wants to meet up. Going to be a long wait though.


Also should I send a friend request with the message. I don't know if she'll accept it out of the blue considering she's shy. I'm worried that this would make things more awkward if she rejects it or ignores it.

Thoughts?

[knowmeyourself]

If she had a crush on you back then, she will be flattered even if she's already in a relationship with someone. It means that she is still on your mind after all those years. Girls LOVE to feel special and contacting her now will make her feel so.

You're saying that she had a crush on you, so why not? Do it!

What should you say? Start small and see how it goes from there. The first message should be about general stuff asking her how she's been and that you miss talking to her. You can also give her a brief update about yourself (it's great to mention your accomplishments to a girl, but not to the extent of being cocky). If she responds in the same nice manner, then ask to chat with her. Arrange a date or something on the chatroom or in person if you both like to.

Take things slow so as not to creep her out. Things start small at first, then grows by time.

If she replied in a formal manner, it means that maybe she has a boyfriend or in some sort of relationship or that she isn't looking for a relationship. This is why it's best to start talking about general stuff first.

Good luck!. :)

[Asker]

Should I mention my regrets of not talking to her more when I had the chance? Or is that too much?

[knowmeyourself]

It's too much. You can say that, but not at the beginning. You should wait until you build a connection with her, then it's OK to say everything.

[Asker]

I'm worried that my message will end up in her 'other' inbox, so she won't get any notification and that she might not see it for weeks. If she has strict filtering, only friends' messages will reach her inbox. I have mutual friends but I'm not FB friends with her.

Do you think if she sees it that late she might not want to reply at all out of awkwardness?

[knowmeyourself]

It's not awkward. You gotta do what you gotta do. The rest is for her to decide; whether to reply or not. You can never expect her reaction until you take the risk. Are you willing to take the risk? That's the important question.

[Asker]

I have nothing to lose so I will take the risk. I think I will wait until the summer to message her though. If she wants to meet up it will be more convenient as she will be nearby rather than in college in another city.

Your thoughts?

[knowmeyourself]

Great! I think you should take the risk too.

[Asker]

Also, should I try sending a friend request before messaging her. I'm not sure she'll accept it.

[knowmeyourself]

Do both. A message AND a friend request. Same time.

[Asker]

Went ahead and just sent the friend request. She accepted. :) Atleast now I have some chance.

I haven't sent a message yet so I don't appear over eager.

What should I do next?

[knowmeyourself]

That's not being over-eager at all. You should send her a message saying hi, that you're happy to talk to her again and general stuff. Take it slow. :)

[Asker]

I've been asking her about college. She's using exclamation marks at the end of every sentence. Maybe that's her writing style, but is there any meaning behind that?

[knowmeyourself]

It's just her writing style. It's annoying, I know :D I have friends who write like your crush.

[Asker]

If it's been a day since she saw my last message and hasn't replied yet, is she not interested?

[knowmeyourself]

Not necessarily. She might be busy, not interested or is still preparing a reply.

[Asker]

Let's say if she hasn't replied within a week, should I just confess to her?

Surely it won't a make a difference but aleast I'll know that she knows.

[knowmeyourself]

No, you shouldn't. Confess to her only when you know she shares the same feelings as yours. Take your time in getting closer to her. Don't rush!

[Asker]

I think she would have replied by now if she cared at all.

I just want this to be over, one way or the other.

[knowmeyourself]

Don't wait for her reply. Go on with your life. If she replies, great. If not, her loss.

[Mmendoza]

Holy cow! This is EXACTLY what happened to me! I am a female in college, and four months ago my old high school crush contacted me over Facebook. He didn't have my number, so a message was the only way to go about contacting me. He had a girlfriend when I knew him in high school, so nothing ever happened. Four months ago I saw the message, and was completely flattered and happy:) The message said "Hey so-and-so, I know we haven't talked in forever but I hope you're doing well. In case you want to get in touch with me, my number is xxx-xxx-xxxx. I hope to hear from you soon:) Take care beautiful." I texted him immediately haha:) Ever since then, we've been as happy as two peas in a pod! Back in high school he was too shy to really tell me how he felt, as was I, but the feelings were still there after two years. I'd say go for it 100 percent! His decision to message me forever changed my life and has resulted in happiness for the both of us:) So, message her..something simple, like my example. Best of luck!

[throwit]

SAME!

Except I actually messaged him.

We used to hang out all the time and he asked me out in high school but I was so shy I just said I don't know. I messaged him but he doesn't seem to be interested :(

But hey, if that's the only way you can contact her, the worst thing that could happen is for her to not answer :)

[temptationfalls]

Go for it!

Send her a message saying "Hey, how have you been? It's been forever since we've talked."

Or something on those lines.

[katg4560]

Just start off with something really simple like "hey long time, no talk. How have you been?" And see where things go and if she'd like to meet up and catch up over coffee/lunch/dinner

[RedSmartie]

Provided that I wasn't currently in a relationship, I think I would enjoy hearing from an old love interest. It's kind of nice to know that the one that got away didn't really get away.

[Anonymous]

DO IT AHHH OMG OKAY my ex and I bumped in to each other 3 years later in a university hall and I still am so in love with him and we've been talking and it's great! Absolutely worth the risk and it's always wonderful to catch up with old friends!