Chemistry / Sexual Tension / Attraction: how to know which one it is?

[Anonymous]

So I am really confused as to how one should identify what chemistry, sexual tension and plain attraction are.

Are they the same thing ? Are they different? Are they always mutual or can someone feel a spark and the other won't?

Also most importantly can you create any of them? Or is it a matter of "it is either there or not" ?

I've found various articles on the web, stating quite different things on the subject, which is why I'd like everyone's opinion on the matter.

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Also what advice would you give the opposite sex to be more attractive (that doesn't have to do with looks obviously) ?

For example the last link talk about guys having sexual tension and owning sexual energy. And I have found this to be very true, if there is one quality that separates guys who get the girls from those who don't it's sexual confidence. Such men now how to display their sexual desires without coming off as desperate which in makes them exude a lot of sexual energy and women are sorta drawn to it.

I was also wondering if there was a female equivalent for this. What is the difference between a girl that has a lot of guys falling for her and one who doesn't ?

[Absolut1l]

I think it's just really, really different for each person. I'm in a situation now where we hit it off incredibly well and there's just fireworks going off. But the girl randomly tells me we didn't have a sexual spark right after telling me how hot I am.. But she wants to keep dating to get to know me better. So I'd definitely say 1) there's different kind of "sparks" and 2) one person can definitely feel it when the other doesn't and not even know it. And this is just one person here so...

Yes, there's tons of couples who started with not much attraction or spark and it grew over time, and vice versa where is simply fades away.

I find all sorts of things attractive in women. I think it kind of changes from woman to woman, at least for me. I guess I just home in on what I like about someone and focus on that. Nobody is going to meet all your expectations. So you kinda have to just appreciate what is attractive about them. Confidence, dressing nicely, having a positive attitude. Those are things that are attractive to me personally.

And about sexual energy.. I am definitely that kind of guy. I am very confident both in general and in the bedroom and feel I exude that confidence. Interestingly though, I've found that while some women love this, some women do not. In fact, some women see that kind of aura as a bad sign. I've had women who got the idea I was really good and confident in the bedroom because I have sex with a lot of women or something. Nobody wants to think that the person they are with had sex with hundreds of other people. It doesn't exactly paint a positive outlook for the possibility of a relationship.

Hope some of that is useful! :)

[lovelylife]

I think they fall in place together. Sexual chemistry creates the tension. You will feel it. When it's there you will not have to ask; because you will feel it with every core of your body. I don't think it's possible if the feelings are not mutual. If its one sided there's no tension. Your basically just attracted, the feelings may be great or intense but it's one sided.