Guy playing with my hands?

[Northerner]

What is going on? This guy that I like (and who I am almost sure likes me) keeps playing with my hands - like casually but not.

This is the second time he's done this. The first was a high five that turned into a casual sliding his hand across mine as if he wasn't paying attention - but then he deliberately started to (tentatively) wrap his fingers around my hand and I responded - once I responded he sort of held onto my hand until we let go. It was only for a few seconds but it felt like forever.

The second was tonight. I was talking to him about something and he reached out his hand to me casually so I reached mine toward him, not really knowing what he was doing. He just sort of took hold of my hand and - I don't know what - it was like a high five but he kind of gently played with my hand for a minute. I apologized because my hands were freezing from washing them. He didn't really respond and just sort of folded his hand around mine a little and then pulled back and started to - I think - interlace his fingers with mine when his brother walked in and he acted all casual and we just dropped hands. This was during a normal conversation - nothing romantic or anything. I mean, joking around, but nothing mushy or whatever.

Am I wrong in thinking that he really cares for me? Background: I am 99.99999% positive that he really likes me and has for a while, and (long story) fears he will lose me.

Updates

+1 y

Answers from guys particularly appreciated (and girls - I just want to know what guys think about what's probably going through his head). Thanks everyone :)

[Anonymous]

I had the same question after spending the day with a guy I like. He could not stop touching/caressing/holding my hands. It was very tender and sweet, but I think also sexually charged...

It's the mushy sort of things that makes your heart skip a beat when you think about it. :) I say just enjoy those moments while they're upon you. He has feelings for you -- a definite soft spot if he's keeping your hands warm and intertwining his fingers with yours. The contact of hands is stressed by Shakespeare in the first scene in which Romeo and Juliet meet and touch hands "like a high five," as you say (though Shakespeare refers to it as hands "kissing"). Whichever term you use for it, you get the general idea. He has feelings for you. Romantic feelings? Not sure, but strong and emotional feelings for sure. In some cases, also sexual feelings (if he's stroking your hands in a certain nervous/excited sort of way).

[Northerner]

It feels...how do I put this. In general there is sexual tension between us but this...it's less sexual and more just "stay with me" sort of sweet. Kind of both. Like I'm never sure if I should pull away because I'm not sure if he's really putting the amount of emotion into it that I feel he is, and don't want him to feel awkward...but then I respond and he seems fine with it/keeps going so...? Like I said, this lasts like max 30 seconds but it feels like time slows. Same w/how he looks at me.

[Northerner]

And I didn't even think about him keeping my hands warm...awwwwww that's adorable :) I'm not sure what he was doing but it involved more closely wrapping his hands around mine, or starting to.

[Opinion Owner]

Next time he does it just try to see what kind of vibe he's putting out there. It is a very sweet, tender gesture in general, but you might want to fine-tune your observation to see if there's real sexual tension or just a friendly/needy pull between you at the moment.

[Northerner]

Will do - thanks. He does tend to always sit near me, want to show me things, etc. He definitely cares a lot for me, thank God - just I'm not sure exactly how much sexual tension there is - there was a *lot* before but that seemed to drop off precipitously after he found out that his cousin likes me, last week. That's what I meant about him thinking he might lose me. So it seems like maybe some combination of sexual tension, neediness, etc. and definite care overall. Sorry this is confusing haha

[Opinion Owner]

We're actually in exactly the same boat. A younger relative of my guy indicated interest and I politely pointed out that he was too young for me (without saying I was interested in a different guy, which might have caused internal resentment in my guy's family). Instead, I just veered away from communication with that guy and focused a little more on communication with my guy. Subtly make it *clear* to your guy that your interest lies with him, not his relative, and see where that goes.

[Northerner]

Haha life is so ironic sometimes, isn't it? Thanks - good advice. My guy suddenly *happened* to start liking this girl he used to know *after* telling me that he didn't even want to see her and hadn't liked her...I think it's his way of redirecting his attention (or making me jealous?) because the cousin liking me is pretty...strong - and the timing is exactly right. It's very annoying though - and I'm surprised at how vehemently I react with "no, he's *mine*" when I think about him liking her.

[Opinion Owner]

Sigh... Maybe back off from everyone for a week or so. Give Mr. Hands a chance to miss you, but don't have anything to do with the cousin. With my guy, I made a point of going through him for anything concerning a topic that his relative (previously interested in me) specialized in. This made my guy feel more secure that I wasn't trying to get the other fellow's attention, etc. NOW I back off because of a similar hot-and-cold situation, but he knows where I stand -- and if not, he can ask.

[Northerner]

Thanks :) will see what happens. Glad yours is somewhat solved-ish...and thanks again, I really appreciate all the help!

[Opinion Owner]

Some days it feels more "solved" than others.

[meghan-grace]

Wow I'm in the exact same situation with the guy I really like! I'm positive he likes me too but m too shy to do anything about it. Whenever I see him I always try to shake his hand, and other times he'll do it to me too. He often lays his hands out the way you would for a 'low-five', and when I place my hands in his he literally holds them for a few seconds, and we just act casually about it, as though its normal, but it gives me butterflies every time! Hahah. And he'll also high-five me but it somehow turns into a sideways thing and his fingers grip at mine for a second. Too cute.

Its like we know how they feel and what they mean by it, we just want confirmation ;) good luck with him! :)

[SPRGRL]

I'm not sure if I'm still in time to answer this, but probably one way to try and understand his intentions, would be a walk. Like, go for walk, just the two of you, and walk side by side, try to get a little closer to him, so you hands kind of brush and see if he takes hold of it.
If he does, he probably is interested, I mean when I walk with my friends (guys) they don't grab my hands, no matter how close we are.
How do you guys greet each other?

[TofuProductions]

The answer is pretty obvious, not sure if you're looking for more persuasion or something, but the answer is already there, he isn't head over heels for you so to speak but he obviously has taken an interest to you.

Would you play with some random guy's hands? exactly.

[Northerner]

Thanks! What would indicate head over heels?

[TofuProductions]

If he tells you it face to face, texts you constantly, basically is an actual boyfriend that shows he cares.

[Speeder132]

Most definitely likes you a lot. Touching is probably the biggest indication of liking a person, although deciding if it's a friend or more is the harder part. But since you say you're fairly positive then you have an instinct to know more than any of the rest of us.

[Northerner]

Thank you :) not friends, pretty sure, as you mentioned.

[xapplebottom]

Yes! He definitely cares for you :) Hang out with him more and get something going :D

[Northerner]

Thank you :) I really appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

I love to fondle the hands of a girl for 2 reason: (1) I love soft and pretty hands. I almost have a fetish for them. (2) caressing hands is the cleanest and most romantic way of showing interest. To answer your question, a lot depends on how he is doing it but it does look like he is fond of you but he is still not head over heels over ypu.

[Northerner]

What would indicate head over heels? And thanks!

[Opinion Owner]

To be honest I do not want to mislead you or misguide you. I think you are in a much better position than me at least, to observe his behavior and make a judgement. Why I said that about head over heels is "by the contrary". The way you explained his handling with your hands, it sounded more playful than anything else. That is why I said that. I could be wrong.

[Northerner]

I really appreciate that - thanks. The first time was half paying attention in an "I don't want to let go of you" way (which he's done before, often - kept his hand on mine for a long time) but I think he realized and started to do it purposely...it felt deliberate and *really* hesitant/tender. The second time was forthright but still tender - I think he masks his feelings as playfulness but tries to see if I want something more, the way he touched my hands. It wasn't just messing with them.

[Opinion Owner]

I hope it turns out well for you and brings you long term joy. :)

[farykinggirl]

oh my god I thought I was the only one! Thank god I came across your question! I also have a guy friend of mine that I've in love with and we had always have great chemistry and people would joke about us being together... He does the whole casually taking my hand or lingering the high five into caressing too, I totaly know what you mean. go for it girl, I know I will!

[kysalle]

sounds like he likes you. I woudlnt say that he's fallen in love or anything

[Northerner]

Lol fair enough and thanks :)

[kysalle]

maybe he's just giving you a handjob

[Anonymous]

It seems that he really does like you a lot.

[Northerner]

Thanks :)