Why is it that when I ignore my crush she pays more attention to me?

[Anonymous]

I like a girl - when I ask her out she doesn't reply back. However, when I ignore her she seeks my attention.

I don't understand. Sometimes it seems obvious there is physical attraction in spite of herself, but other times she makes a point of ignoring me. eg. She'd walk up to talk to me after I exercise and get flustered if we stand too close. But other times she'd look like she's talking to a friend the whole night paying no attention to me, but occasionally I'd catch her listening to my conversation whilst pretending not to be, or she'd cut into my conversation.

What is going on with this girl?

[Anonymous]

I can't explain it, but there's something magnetic about not being gawked over by a guy. Like, if your just cool and casual, not all over the girl, I think it evokes us to pursue a guy. Only if we're attracted to him initially of course.

I heard some guy talking about some psychological thing, in which women are attracted to men who seem to appear like they have " options," in the dating pool. I forgot what he called it, but I think it like triggers this idea that if you have a fair amount of women who dig you, then obviously there's something about you that makes you a worth while choice. I'm probably doing a poor job of explaining it, but I think that's what happens when men aren't hovering over girls they are attracted to, but giving just enough space to send the message of, " you're cute, but so is she and I could probably have you both if I wanted."

Seems a little cocky, but usually it doesn't come off jerkish. All I know is that it's flattering when a dude is all over you, but I'm more amped to go after a guy if he's got his own thing going on, ie, I"m not the center of his attention all the time.

As far as this girl... if she's getting all blushy around you, then she probably is attracted to you. As her "not paying attention," during the night outtings, I think she may be paying way more attention to you then you think, especially if she's cutting into your convo's and listening to them from a distance.

I think she has a thing for you, but just doesn't really know how to flirt or put it out there, so she's finding the most comfortable route to interact with you through group conversation ( less stressful than one on one,) and keeping a " safe " distance.

If you like her, then maybe you could flirt a little bit, or talk with her a little more to make her more comfortable in romancing you?

[Anonymous]

I bet it is because she starts thinking what have I done to make this guy like me, why doesn't he keep liking me, I need to do something to make him like me again

i know because I've done this before to guys, not that I am proud of it but an ego boost is pretty important for girls.

[Anonymous]

They want the chase gaem.

[Anonymous]

She likes you and wants you to chase her.