How to get acquainted with a girl you like?

[qstoffe]

Background:

I've got a huge crush on a girl that I don't really know. She works at the local gym I go to. I usually see her a couple of times a week and we say hi to each other. I make eye contact with her as often as I can. At first we just used to look at each other without expression. Then I tried to smile at her as we made eye contact and she smiled back. I think she knows I like her since I look and glance at her so frequently. I have no idea if she's interested though since she might just be nice to me because she works there.

Since I've seen her so often, talking and training with others around me I almost feel as though I know her. I also attend a group exercise that she leads.

Question is; how do I approach her in a progressive way, bit by bit, to get more acquainted with her? I don't want to come on too strong right away because I think that could make things a bit awkward for us both. I just want to get to know her better and at the same time find out if she's interested in me. To be honest I don't even know if she's single but asking her that might be a little to direct imo.

[bobair]

I've done exactly as you've described and even dated my Gym's manager for a short time. Unfortunately it didn't work out although that didn't change the environment of my gym, so that's good. Breakups don't need to be messy when you're a decent guy who's honest and sincere and not looking to make drama.

So my suggestion would be this:

1) Make a plan to engage her more often, in a friendly way, so as to create a relationship where you're both open to chatting when you run into each other. This doesn't take much... just one fun conversation will likely do this for you.

I met my current girlfriend at my gym and all I did was ask her if she knew how to stretch my lower back. I basically just said, "Hey, I'm Robby! I see you here all the time and you look like you really know what you're doing... can you help me with something? I have no idea how to stretch my lower back, do you have any idea how?" She didn't know but she was way more open to chatting with me after that. Just don't interrupt her when she's working out or busy.

2) Escalating little by little works in your favour for two reasons... you won't come across as being overly interested (and creepy) AND it gives you (and her) time to find out if she's actually kinda cool, or just cute and boring. Women FEEL more attraction for a guy that makes her EARN his attention. If you fall all over her just because she's cute that tells her you're not high status enough to care about who she REALLY is, know what I mean? So take your time and chat her up in order to learn what she's really like before you over commit to picking her up.

3) If she's as cool as she seems then escalate the conversations. The goal is to sit with her over dinner or coffee away from the gym... just the two of you, like a date.

So you need to develop enough rapport while chatting to eventually says, "Hey, my friends are having a big get together at such and such bar this weekend, you should grab a friend and join us!"

Or even better, "You know what? You're not what I expected when I first met you. Listen, I hope this isn't' too forward, but I've been dying to try this new place for dinner downtown... join me this Wednesday night, it's on me. I'd love to chat with you more outside this stinky gym." You don't have to call it a date for it to be a date.

4) When all else fails to open her in conversation then simply ask her for a spot when you're doing dumbbell shoulder presses. This tells her you think she's strong enough to give you a spot and reason for her to touch you. Touch is a great rapport builder!

Hope this helps you get started?

~ Robby

My Blog ( link )

[SweetTeaGirl]

Best answer right here. Coming from a girl's POV, this is your best bet. :)

[qstoffe]

Thank you very much for a lenghty and good answer.

[bobair]

Awesome, thanks! :D

[Anonymous]

Just introduce yourself at first, then when you see her again sneak in a couple sentences, to eventually a coffee date for a conversation, then date.

[GurlwithGun15]

Start off slow, ask her her name first:)

[Anonymous]

smile at her and give her a compliment.

[Anonymous]

use a net