Do you believe in "Confident Persistence" when dating women?

[Anonymous]

Recently this girl I had been seeing went from really hot to cold on me, seemingly out of the blue. I've been reading online for advice on what to do, and came across articles like this

www.authenticmanwithin.com/.../

that suggest continuing to pursue, but doing so in a laid-back non pushy/confident manner.

I'm wondering what people think of this concept of "confident persistence,"

Guys, do you think it works, has it worked for you?

Girls, do you think it works, has it worked on you?

Obviously all situations have their own nuances so I realize it isn't a 100% of the time thing, I just felt in my situation she had shown some interest, and maybe just hit a dip, and it wasn't worth giving up completely.

[timetowaste]

If she made the switch on you, it was likely for a reason.. and possibly that reason is because she isn't interested anymore. It's shitty that people don't have the decency to be upfront about it.. but honestly, continuing trying to pursue her after she's gone cold on you seems a little desperate. She'll start wondering why you aren't pursuing her anymore, and more likely than not it starts to bother them "..why isn't he texting me or talking to me anymore" annnnd they will possibly initiate contact with you. But, I think that's along the lines of game playing on her part if that happens.

[Anonymous]

A guy did that to me and it worked. I already liked him from the beginning but it bought me enough time to open up.
It doesn't work with all girls though. If you've got nothing in common with that person and they don't find you the slightest bit attractive, no amount of persistence is going to work. I think it works if the girl either likes you or is on the fence about whether or not they like you.

[Anonymous]

She might be testing you, how far will you go for her , if you really care! Also might be she has other options and you didn't convince her enough to waste her time. Been persistence at the long run will get you whatever you want but dont be pushy, to some women is too much! Go with the flow , check on her once in a while, but if she doesn't come around just let her go. Good luck!:-)

[AdamThomas]

It depends. I'll only persist so far, then I'll move on if it gets too hard. Life's too short to be playing silly games, especially when there will be other girls out there who will like you more, so they'll make it easier for you.

I think the guy whose articles you're reading is full of shit anyway - there are a lot of so-called dating coaches who couldn't get laid in a brothel. This guy is a lot better to learn from:
https://www.authenticpua.com/

[Prof_Don]

That sounds about right. Being persistent, yet not pushy is the best method. It's an art form that can only be learned by trial and error, but truly is the best method.

I've been in sales for quite a few years so I've got the "persistent yet not pushy " mantra down to an art form! :-P

[Prof_Don]

Thanks for listing me as most helpful! 8-)

[DodgersGM]

I'll happily pursue with confidence but I'm not going to spend my time playing games, and I'm certainly not jumping through hoops to pass any "tests." First sign that shit's going on and I bounce.

Here's an example from your article:

For instance, a woman might throw out a comment like, “you know, that t-shirt looks a little feminine on you,” at which point a lot of guys will feel a bit rejected and not pursue the interaction as hard, or worse, they will begin to defend their choice of clothes in order to prove themselves. In contrast, a confident man would just make a quick joke and continue with his conversation undisturbed, “yeah I’m gay on Fridays, anyway (continues conversation)”

[Agrojag]

I don't think it matters either way. If a girl likes you, she likes you. Nothing is going to change her mind about that. If you try a lot, she'll say yes. If you don't, shf'll come to you. It's up to them, not the guy. Same as if an unattractive girl was persistent or not. Doesn't matter.

[SüßeJäger]

It may work sometimes but personally if she doesn't show interest pretty soon, I go elsewhere. gees there's 3.5 billion women in this world. I guess I view other people the way I view myself. if im interested, I go for her, if im not interested I won't. I don't really change my mind so I don't waste my time. plus I despise games more than anything on earth.

[Agrojag]

I'm the same way. If I like a girl and car about her, I show it. If I don't, then I act accordingly. Games only serve to confuse and hurt people.

[SüßeJäger]

I totally agree. I don't like to hurt people and I don't like to be hurt so no games for this kid.

[Anonymous]

It works in all kinds of strange ways! My partner of many years will give me a bit more sex (or, let's say, refuse less) if she thinks I'm having an affair with someone else! Or she notices that I'm coming home late...

Here it's probably a question of not taking you for granted!

[myspacemybroke]

While it may get you the girl in the long run, I disagree with the philosophy. If she's going to be worth you're time, you shouldn't have to put forth one sided effort.

[CellLuddite]

I'd view it as a what do I have to lose type gambit. I'd casually pursue this girl while pursing other girls at the same time.

[feistydarling]

Maybe, but I think if a girl has made it abundantly clear that she's not interested any more, it's not good for either party to keep pressuring it.

[Cheeky_Unfortunate]

This is mythological nonsense. Now persistence has it's place but it isn't in the land of Alpha Male BS. Also it has another name: Dedication.

[mynameisnotjake]

I guess if you enjoy getting on the police watch list!

[kheserthorpe]

Seems like the wrong move to me.

Answer is going to be specific to your demographic though.

[Ms_Curiosity]

I think it would work for me.

[kalrodkal]

if you aren't being intrusive