Funny Rant: Chocolate sucks

topramen1565

Okay, so I want to address and offend the girls in this establishment. So allow me to go off my tangent, chocolate sucks so much and it's just utterly terrible. The taste of chocolate is a bit strong and even milk chocolate can be slightly bitter. Not to mention that near-bitter aftertaste and you need to douse your mouth in water afterward.

Funny Rant: Chocolate sucks

Why girls obsess over chocolate is beyond me, it's also so overrated, and the things made out of chocolate are just yuck. Chocolate cake, blech. Chocolate ice cream, the taste is nauseating. Dark chocolate, the unspeakable evil and nightmare fuel for my taste buds. Every time chocolate is paired up with something else, primarily cake and ice cream, the cocoa is amplified and is strong enough to take out my entire set of teeth.

Funny Rant: Chocolate sucks

However, like all foods, there is usually a good pairing despite the food itself being terrible by itself. Chocolate needs a tortilla chip to its guac. For example, Reese's (peanut butter & chocolate) is very yummy. Chocolate chip waffles are usually good and on the topic of chocolate chip, some chocolate chip cookies are good. It depends on the quality of the chocolate and I slander double chocolate chip cookies. Chocolate on top of chocolates should be illegal. Chocolate and caramel such as Snickers and Twix are usually good.

Funny Rant: Chocolate sucks

I still rest my case as chocolate being my least favorite and the worst food ever. I wish you peeps would slander me in the comments! I beg you to! (Keep in mind I'm only pulling legs and mostly joking here.)

Funny Rant: Chocolate sucks
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Most Helpful Guys

  • MotorcycleMan
    Everyone has a different taste. Most people like chocolate. Some don't. Maybe you are very sensitive to bitter (I'm a "super taster" and bitter hits me pretty hard, but I still love chocolate). Anyway, point being, everyone is different. Awesome, right?
    Is this still revelant?
    • ... You and your science (on a serious note, you are right)

    • There are kits you can buy to determine if you are a supertaster for about $5, but you can easily do it at home as well. Supertasters experience taste with greater intensity than the average person. About 25% of people are supertasters and have a higher number of taste buds. Bitter is one that tends to bother supertasters. Things like raw broccoli, grapefruit juice, coffee and dark chocolate. Also fatty foods, but unfortunately those don't bother me. lol
      To test, take a standard piece of 3-hole notebook paper (or a hole of the same size punched in plastic wrap or something) and put it on the front part of your tongue. If you can count more than 30 taste buds, you are a supertaster. It might help to use a little food coloring (or drink some red wine) to stain your tongue a little to make it easier to count. Average is 15-30, supertaster is over 30 and non-tasters are below 15.

    • I didn't like dark chocolate until I was maybe 40. It grew on me. Now I love it. Milk chocolate is too sweet.

  • Vietnemin
    I actually think chocolate is overrated myself. I prefer caramel or vanilla. What you wrote is funny and I agree with most of it.
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Girls

  • Vivian7k
    I still rest my case as chocolate being my least favorite and the worst food ever. I wish you peeps would slander me in the comments! I beg you to! (Keep in mind I'm only pulling legs and mostly joking here.)
    Is this still revelant?
  • Daniela1982
    Ummmmm, chocolate!
    Funny Rant: Chocolate sucks
    No chocolate milk tonight?
    No chocolate milk tonight?
    Chocololic's horror story.
    Chocololic's horror story.
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

22
  • kespethdude
    There are three things you do NOT bash on the Internet:

    Cats
    Bacon
    Chocolate

    You just lost The Game. Good day, sir.
    • Most bacon is 80% fat. Cats are cool but get a little reckless sometimes, especially with furballs and pooping in unknown places and giving birth other places as well. Stinking up the joint. Pets are just expensive.

      And I already bashed chocolate. Whatcha gonna do about it?

    • I said GOOD DAY, sir.

  • TaylerPeterson
    Dark chocolate is ughh terrible I gotta say lol
  • elektratbh
    based, i agree
  • PurpleDrank69
    Didn’t read, kys unironically
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