A Hamburger Tale

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This is what is known as a hamburger.

"What would you like to order?" asked the fast food cashier that works behind the counter out loud.

Joe shrugged his shoulders and blinked his eyes. "I don't know. What do you have?" Joe replied using his mouth.

The cashier paused to think using her brain. "We have lots of things."

Joe heard what the cashier said through his ears. "What sort of things?" he asked as a question.

"One of the things we have is salad," the cashier communicated using spoken words. "Here is what it looks like," the cashier continued while showing a sample of the salad that the restaurant had to offer on their menu.

Joe observed the thing that the cashier and others who spoke English called a salad. "It's extremely vegetably," he thought in disgust using his mind while choosing not to say it out loud. So vegetably were the vegetables that it hardly gets any more vegetably than that. "Do you have anything not so vegetably?"

The cashier paused for a moment to browse through her recollection of memories. "Well, we're a hamburger joint so one of the things we also offer is hamburgers!" she replied enthusiastically, getting pleased at herself as she recalled the main dish popular in the restaurant in which she worked.

"I'll have one of those!" Joe exclaimed in a way more excited than the normal sentences he spoke. "Does it cost money?"

"Yes, it costs five dollars," the cashier responded to Joe's inquiry.

"Damn! Well, here it is. I want the hamburger more than my five dollars," Joe said as he handed the cashier five hundred cents worth of money.

The cashier handed Joe the hamburger using her own female hand. "Here you go."

Joe eyed the hamburger like a Catholic priest eyes a choir boy. The wobble of the formerly frozen meat particles enticed a slight drool from his mouth. He then wiped away his facial orifice and -- as if to savor the moment -- paused before consuming the industrially-farmed bovine flesh whose juicy slice of carcass exploded its meaty fluids into his mouth like a pornographic facial. "This is definitely way less vegetably," he thought.