5 Things That Really Annoy Me About Women

[pervertedjester]

1. Sisters-

Sure if you're an only child they might seem super fun to have or maybe if you just have one and you two are as thick as thieves. As for me I have three, each with their own different personality. From ages three to twelve I was their punching bag and or scapegoat.

Case in Point: One of my sisters got grounded to her room when I was seven and she was nine. She decided she would run away. But she couldn't leave her room. I had just gotten home from playing outside and had no idea what had happened. I went upstairs to wash up for dinner and my sister called me to her room. She wanted me to play a game with her and I was way too trusting at the time. She had tied some sheets together attached one end to her bed and put the rest out of the window.

She was smart enough to know not to test it herself and had me climb out first. I got down half way before realizing it was too short and I was dangling above a one story drop. I started yelling at her to Pull me up! When the sheets came loose. I dropped on to the cement porch and started crying. My sister ran to my Brother's room and hid under his bed. My Mom (Once she stopped laughing, she had been watching since she saw feet dangling by the window. *Gotta Love Mom*) took me back inside and my sister who thought she had killed me was whipped to an inch of her life and grounded for a full two months. But when this story is retold it's at my expense. Nobody ever brings up the fact my sister can be a manipulative bitch... and that's just one of them.

2. Pictures-

I do not like pictures of myself. I do not like "in the moment" staged pictures of us. You are beautiful. You are art. You are worthy of a Statue! Next to you or on my own I look like Wade Wilson. That's how I see myself. When a woman dates me I automatically assume she's doing community service. If she tries to take a picture with me I feel like I'm part of a future documentary on Pity Sex or a testament to how charitable she is.

3. Clothing-

Biological Fact: Women have poor circulation in their hands and feet. For The LOVE OF GOD please check the weather report before getting dressed. It's really silly not take gloves or wear socks if your are going to be cold ninety percent of the time. I cannot count the number of times where I'm with a woman in public I get touched with the Ice Pack Hands Of Death in a sensitive spot. Or worse when I'm sound asleep and am woken up ready to attack because I got jabbed by the Frost Bitten Foot From Hell! (And they wonder why I give them socks and gloves for Xmas)

4. Make Up-

Don't get me wrong I absolutely adore when the Ladies go all out with their face paintings. But even kids have to pick up Legos. Even as an Adult Male all my tools are put away in their proper place. Yet live with a woman for a day and make up is spread out everywhere. "Least it's all in the Bathroom" is not an excuse by the way. I'm sure if you ask any of your boyfriends/husbands they would be willing to build a MacGyver Style Containment Device for your make up... provided you use it.

5. The Truth-

Ladies just because we don't tell you everything, it doesn't mean we're lying to you. Everyone has or will have at least one moment in their lives that they're not proud of and do not wish to discuss. That being said I have a few. Most of the time I have to watch what I say when certain topics are brought up. Because if you give a woman a straw of hay they'll jump in the stack looking for the needle. They keep digging and digging until you get so fed up that you snap! You blurt everything out you've held back and in my experience they can't handle it. Just let us be, reassure us that you'll be there no matter what. So when we're ready we can tell you. Please stop forcing it.

This was mostly in jest except for the last one and the fact my sisters are still annoying! So what about the rest of you, what's annoying about Women in your opinion?

(And please try not to be an Ass about it.)

#SeeMyWork

[phil2]

Eh I grew up with one sister. Because she was the manipulative, lying, judging, narcissist... I became the opposite. Not all women do those things. My oldest brother, my dad and husband would say that I am the most trustworthy, honest, kind and selfless person they know.

[Mynameisbobby]

My sister lies about everything and my mother believes everything she says. She beats me up for no reason. She gets treated like a queen i get treated like a dog sometimes.

[BaileyisDarcy]

Meet my sister.

6 years old, in grade prep, I don't live with her (thank god) but I got a phone call earlier this year.
As follows.

"Hey, Claire!"
"Hi Bailey! (blabble about things I can't understand either through not being there to see it or mumbles)"
"Awesome! How's school?"
"I got in trouble."
"Aw, why?"
"For beating up other kids." (said as matter factually as a six year old can get with no hint of remorse)
"For um, for what?" (Me not quite able to believe what I'm hearing but wanting to laugh at the same time)
"And for wearing makeup," (remember, she's six) "And I shouldn't have gotten inta trouble!"
"Why not?"
"Cause I wasn't beating them up!"
"but you just sai-"
"I was only practicing!"

There you have it. My sister in a nut shell.

This is funny as fuck. See, I don't live with her, and I hate her mother, so, yeah not great for Claire that she thinks this is acceptable, but awesome for me cause that means I can shove it to her mother in proof that I was a fucking angel child in comparison. What did I do? Draw on the table once or twice? Accidentally break a board game?

Not once did I try to kick the fence in cause I wanted to play outside. Not once did I beat up another kid, and I certainly never deliberately broke things people gave me.
I never swore at that woman, and here is her own 'angel' child who can do no harm, getting detention for beating other kids up, demanding she gets lots of makeup for her birthday, kicking holes in the walls and damaging the fence, and throwing very dramatic fits to get her own way.

Holy SHIT that woman is in for some pay back of her own making XD

Just wait till Claire hits the TEEN years!

[JuicyBrain]

Haha! who knows, she might become a very well balanced women. She could even become mature faster since the more mistakes you make, the wiser you get. I sure hope for her sake.

[zombiebabe]

1. i have two brothers and i'm the one who got grounded all the time as a kid.. and my parents still accept whatever my bros will choose to do but when it comes to me... nope >:( so am not a "manipulative b****" like you said above

2. am not so photogenic but sill some people say i look better irl than in pics... but i guess it varies from one person to another.

3. i know i have cold hands/feet/nose but i dress according to the temperature.

4. I don't wear or use tons of makeup because they all have a shelf life... and that doesn't make sense to waste money on something if you won't really use it.

5. It not that we're "forcing it" BUT... i was actually cheated on in the past when someone didn't share everything with me

so... no need to generalize bruh

[pervertedjester]

1. I wasn't talking about you specifically. Only pointing out my experiences with My sisters. When I said "that's just one of them" I was reiterating that I had three of them.

2. It is my personal view of myself that I look horrid in pictures.

3. It's rare to meet a Woman who dresses for the weather so Kudos to you for that.

4. Again Kudos.

5. I have been cheated on more times than I care to admit, but that wasn't the point. My issue was with several attempts by past flames to get me to tell them the things that I rarely tell anyone. To quote them afterwords "It's too much to Handle!" Still if I don't at least partially tell them, they assume I'm cheating on them. And as I said, if you give them a straw they want the needle. So now I watch what slips out a lot better.

I've also made fun of me in three other takes so... I figured it's only fair if I try to do a funny take about women. No need to worry, bruh.

[zombiebabe]

"bruh" ? :o
anyways thanks for dem kudos :p

[Belgie]

For one thing, I would never think of my sister as "women" or even a "woman" singular. The most singular thing about her, is that she's my sister. I love her and would do anything for her, and I can't tell you how often she's been my go to friend, my ego boost, my tactful "you screwed up with her because..." explainer, my fashion advisor, my relationship thermometer, and my person who'll answer the phone when ever I call.

s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...4734c7c27a.jpg

The things that annoy me about women though?
1) They talk too much. To other women, I don't mind. But don't think you can talk to me like I'm a woman. That's too damn much talking.
2) They hate other women.
3) They are so two-faced. A woman can hate your guts behind your back and you'd never know.
4) Woman logic bears no resemblance to Man logic.

[phoenix2000]

i don't wear "these types of clothes" i don't wear make up , my photos are like passport photos. So what do u think? We're not all the same

[pervertedjester]

Kudos to you! As I've stated in the take this was largely in jest. But I cannot control what you take away from it. I did at least respect your opinion enough to give it a thumbs up.

[TheDevilInside]

That last picture is true. But it's also true for Brothers as well

[YoungAndInnocent]

Just because your sisters were like that doesn't mean all women are like that. You're acting as if all girls are like that.

[pervertedjester]

@YoungAndInnocent Actually I wasn't. If you read to the end of it I said this was mostly in jest except for my relationship with my sisters and number five. Still I cannot control what you take away from it. But I did at least respect your opinion enough to give it a thumbs up.

[ChocoLada]

I'm nothing like that, I never liked makeup, and the other stuff is also irrelevant for me.

[RedRobin]

Haha, I don't know why girls go out without socks and gloves to keep warm.

[mikemx55]

Cause that way, nobody could see their nails!

[RedRobin]

@mikemx55 true, but half the girls who do it don't have their nails done

[mikemx55]

Oh really? They all seem obsessed about that stuff...

[BaileyisDarcy]

@mikemx55 Nah, screw nail polish. It looks good for two days then it starts to peel and looks terrible.
Besides, it's a waste of time anyway.

[mikemx55]

@BaileyisDarcy Seems like you two are from a different breed :P jk

[Ninja97]

Only child problems 😂 Cannot relate lool. Great mytake

[ClariceOwen23]

I didn't read the take. I just love that pic of Deadpool and Death

[Afro-dite9]

Lol 😛

[JuicyBrain]

Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting the kiss of death :-P

[JuicyBrain]

I don't have a sister. That kind of makes me want to have one even more :-)

[WhaChaChaKing]

I have a brother and sister and they were both terrible. I'm surprised I made it past childhood.

[pbracing33b]

I've just accepted the fact that ALL women are crazy. It just a matter of degree to what crazy ur willing to put up with.

[Miss_Behave]

TL;DR but that little mermaid picture is golden!!

[EllieLexis513]

Number 4 was hilarious hahahaha

[isjusti]

The description on the 3 was so funny :D

[slimstiffy]

Man your sister was evil

[KiaTate]

I'm only here for deadpool and death.

[termsandconditions]

Love the Gravity Falls pic you snuck in there lol

[Pilulu]

I'm nothing like that as a sister.