Girls, what does your hot and cold behavior with a guy mean?

[Anonymous]

One day your pleased of the guys company and very talkative. But then the next your cold and distant. The cycle of hot and cold will constantly repeat itself.

Why?

[XRabbitHeartX]

There could be several reasons. The first is that we're not interested. We might be friendly with you and then you mistake that for us being flirty or into you. I'd never be hot/cold with a guy that I truly had a crush on. That just makes no sense. Another reason could be that the girl is genuinely busy and cannot sit around and chat to a guy for hours. Another reason I can think of is that the girl wants to see if you will make effort to talk to her if she goes a bit distant. Basically to check whether you are genuinely interested enough to try to talk to her first. But most of the time I'd say it's because the girl lacks interest or she doesn't know how she feels about you. Which either way is bad. It's the same with why guys go hot/cold. They just want attention or don't know what they want. You can't be *that* serious about someone if you're willing to be cold towards them all the time. I could never do that to a guy I adore.

[ThatWeirdo]

I'm kind of doing that with my crush, partly because I don't want to seem desperate and scare him away or annoy him, just in case we can't become a couple I would still hope to be friends with him; partly because I could sometimes get too nervous that I don't know what to say to him (this might not apply in your case as she has been talkative at times but I haven't talked to him much); and partly because of my personal mood, you know, everyone has their bad days.

[ThatWeirdo]

When she has a warm attitude, it might be that she has gained some courage to interact with you.
All these are just my guess based off of how I interact with people and my personality, so they are only true for your girl if she is somewhat introverted, shy and not that social or confidant compared to average.

[Chronos91]

If he's a friend? It just means that one day he finds me in a good mood, one day he finds me in a bad mood. And when I'm in a bad mood, it's really tiring to lie and pretend that I'm fine, so I try to keep my distance. It's also easier not to hurt him by accident with my words this way.

[Anonymous]

Usually it's when I'm not that crazy about the guy. Like he annoys me 80% of the time so I avoid him, but then I start to feel bad about it and then I act friendly to him. And then he starts bugging me again so I go back to being distant.

[Asker]

It's odd because when she is acting hot she can be very friendly. For example suggesting we do stuff such as hang out.

[Mesonfielde]

I think it's a conceptual mind game. The "PUA Theory" indicates that women become less interested if you're always available, so this adds a level of 'mysteriousness' and 'unpredictability' to your action.

Technically, it's something people resort to when they're not decently empathetic and somewhat conceptualizingly sexist towards females, and try to figure out what they're doing wrong when they get rejected for treating the other person as an object rather than the person.

[cococami]

lol I haven't read the PUA Theory but I can tell you I become more interested if he's unavailable because it tells me he has his own life! He knows what he wants from life, he works towards it, and he doesn't let anything change that

[Mesonfielde]

"Hot & Cold" would I guess be an exploitation of this by faking the scenario.

[findingdreamland]

This is kind of hide and seek game. You hide he seeks, he hides you seek to make the situation exciting.

To me , totally nonsense. If you are open; things become easier.