Why do girls like attention from men they aren't attracted to or interested in?

[Forca]

I'm a guy that has asked out women I've been interested in the past and I noticed that even after those women rejected me they wanted my attention more than before I asked them out, but they rejected me because they weren't attracted/interested/liked someone else/ had a boyfriend so why did they still want my attention? Some of these girls would actively try and get my attention i. e. by poking me on facebook, liking my status updates and one girl at work appeared to be everywhere I was even though she worked in a different department.

So what gives? It's like these women just craved my attention and yet they rejected me presumably because they didn't like me?

If I'm not interested in a girl I wouldn't want her attention. I wouldn't go out of my way to get her attention, so why do girls do it? It seems illogical to me.

Updates

+1 y

Thank you Holly, that's very kind of you to say so. :)

[Justcuriousxx]

That is one hell of a situation you have there lol. Do you give them attention when all is said and done though?

If you do: Perhaps you should pursue again but this time try being very casual about it to keep them guessing. (obviously don't do it if it really hasn't been that long since the first time you asked)
If you don't: They may just be a little coo-coo lol

Women are funny - myself included *shurgs* - and the do play mind games.

It very well may be that one of these women you reference are actually interested now.
It is funny how as soon as someone says that they are interested in you, from a females perspective, that you start to think about them... pay a little more attention to them -- even if you already turned them down.
They may have developed a peeked interest in you because now the question of "what if" has come up, what if you two really do hit it off... should i give him a chance or no? and so forth...

I'd say ask them out again for sure... & see what transpires. :) Good luck.

[Forca]

I try and remain polite to them, if they say hi and smile, I will say hi and smile but I try and keep out of their way as it I feel awkward afterwards and this latest girl just so happens to be around me a lot more after she rejected me then she did before I asked her out. It's like so weird.

[Holly321]

Girls like the attention. You gave them your attention when you were trying to ask them out. They still want that from you even though they aren't interested. It's kind of mean but I don't think most girls do it as a way of playing games, they just like to know that you are into them.

[Forca]

But the funny thing is I don't shower girls I am interested in with attention because I'm shy and you should see what a nervous wreck I become when I ask a girl out, my hands actually shake as I speak to her, it's that bad and after they reject me, I keep my distance and try and avoid them, so they're not getting much attention from me.

It's very interesting to me because this is the one area where men and women differentiate.

[Holly321]

Aww, you're such a doll! I don't know why they would try so hard to get your attention when they could have easily had it in the first place. Maybe the fact that you are showing the slightest bit of interest is enough? Maybe instead of asking them out right away, you could engage in friendly conversation. Exchange texts for a while. That way you can begin to get more comfortable before you actually ask them out, and they can have fun flirting a bit and get to know you so they'd be more interested in hanging out?

[Forca]

That's a really good idea, I've gone from taking too long to ask girls out and missing loads of possible opportunities because I was scared to ask girls out too quickly. Haha that's funny, but I think you're right. I'll change what I'm doing. :)

[Holly321]

You could even ask them through texting if they'd ever want to hang out. That will take the pressure off and I personally don't see anything wrong with making plans with someone via text. And once you are ready to go on a date, have it be something casual where you won't be so nervous. Dinner can be too formal. Try asking her out for a drink or for a coffee. Something that is low key and doesn't last too long but shows that you are interested in spending time with her. First dates should be casual because you'll both be nervous as it is. Meeting for a drink would be fun.

[Forca]

I prefer to ask a girl out in person, it seems more genuine and sincere that way.

[Holly321]

you have a lot more class than the guys over here then (: good luck, you'll do great!!

[Forca]

Thank you, Holly, that's very kind of you to say so. :)

[xB4N5H33]

Some girls just love attention www.urbandictionary.com/define.php
They want to feel desired by anyone and everyone.
Honestly, attention from someone I don't like makes me uncomfortable because I don't return their feelings and I feel bad, though i'm flattered.

[Forca]

The thing is I don't give them any attention after they turn me and some of them will still try and get my attention.

[Forca]

turn me down*

[xB4N5H33]

That's because they miss the attention.
You took away the feeling of being wanted, and they can't stand it. So they're tying to get it back.

[xB4N5H33]

Attention for them has nothing to do with how they feel about you, its about them wanting you to want them.

[Forca]

But I'm quite shy so I don't give them a lot of attention in the first place. Sure I say hi and I smile at them, I may occasionally strike up a conversation about a mundane subject matter like the weather but eventually I just bite the bullet and ask them out because at times it seems like such a good idea. :D

But I understand what you are saying.

[xB4N5H33]

Any attention counts for those girls.
Like the people who do crazy shit and get negative attention. Even if it's not good, they've been noticed and thats what they think they need. it's kinda like a drug.

[Forca]

That seems pretty deranged to me. I must be going after the same sort of woman. I need to sort my radar out...

[xB4N5H33]

Haha it is. I mean it's probably not to that extreme with these girls. But it's the same thing concept wise.

[acesofsky]

Girls love attention. It makes them feel special and gives a ego boost. The society is at fault too to give a image that a confident and fine woman needs to gain attraction from guys. I have seen married woman doing this too giving those eye contacts. Somehow it makes them feel lively. Guys can do that too but most probably they fall into a narcissist category. Giving attention is like a chocolate when given in limited number it will make attractive but give more you will lose interest.

[AdamThomas]

Some women just like guys who constantly flatter them, no matter how much they say otherwise, they like the ego boost. Or they want you to be a listening ear for all their problems and they know that you'll stick around because you like them. Or they want other favours.

[Forca]

Yeah I can see that now but unless they are my friend they'll get none of this from me.

[AdamThomas]

Yeah leave it to some other sucker.

[Anonymous]

Everyone likes attention and who doesn't want to be complimented. It is rude of us, but some guys do it too. Attention is something all humans crave and it is illogical but it still happens. I know personally when a guy flirts with me 70% of the time I'll flirt back, usually subconsciously. Because my guy friends and I flirt but we know it means nothing so it's natural, habit almost. At least it is for me

[Belleza2]

Because after a while these very same girls regret that they dumped you and maybe because they want to tell you I don't need you - hey some girls are too funny

[Forca]

I never went out with any of these girls.

[Belleza2]

Didn't you say they rejected you?

[Forca]

Yes I asked them out and they rejected me.

[hunnybun12]

For starters, try being a friend first. They are probably wanting to be friends first rather than a couple. Being a couple means serious business, feeling tied down and such. Besides, when you are friends for a while you learn things about them that you may not find attracted too. Or, the both of you find out you like each other and start dating to see if that attraction will take you to the next level.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

I would be friendly with a guy but that doesn't mean I want him

[Forca]

Being friendly is one thing, seeking my attention is quite another.

[Anonymous]

They are using you to boost their own pathetic sagging egos.