My girlfriend takes all her stress and anger out on me!

Alright so my girlfriend gets stressed out and mad a lot. shell take the smallest things and make them bigger than they really are. and when that happens I'm always the one getting bitched at. shell get stressed out about things her family does, or if she can't fix her ipod, if she gets sick, or if I say the wrong things she just loses it. she's been so stressed at other things that sometimes shell just start hitting me and telling me how much she hates me, and that I'm the worst boyfriend she's ever had nd she regrets everything she's done with me. when she's upset ill try to comfort her and tell her its gonna be ok, but shell just tell me to leave her the f*** alone and push me away. if I have an answer to something and its not good enough for her than she calls me a dumb ass and says that I'm stupid. she's asked me if the shirt she was wearing was to low and asked if I would care if she wore it, when I said yes she asked why. so I told her I don't want her to walk around town and have every guy staring at her, checking her out. she got p*ssed and told me just cause I'm a perv doesn't mean every other guy is one to, and she pushed me away from her and ignored me...there's a lot more things that have happened. I just don't kno what I should do, besides leave her.w


Most Helpful Girl

  • She has severe anger issues that are stemming from behavioral patterns she learned as a child. She learned a long time ago that she can get her way and maintain a sense of control through force, aggression, temper tantrums, and physical violence. Only she can change the way she deals with the world, and it is going to be difficult for her to do so, and sadly I don't think there is much chance she is ever going to treat you differently.

    The most important thing is that you realize you don't deserve this kind of treatment and her behavior actually has very little to do with you. She wants to be in control of everything and everyone around her, and she hates the feeling of helplessness she feels when she realizes it is impossible to do so. So she turns to the things she feel she CAN control- namely, you. She is mentally and physically abusive and I strongly urge you to leave her. Not only will you save yourself all the hurt and insanity that comes with a unhealthy relationship, but she may just learn a valuable lesson about how to treat people properly.

    • I agree. I met some one over a 2 month period. And I see her anger taking it out on me. I get there 5 min early she gets all pissy with me. I try to have my opinion, but she disagrees with me. Like why are you taking your stress or old X's out on me? Its not worth it. People like this stay away from. I got no kisses or anything, I tried to show her a good time and show her what a great guy I am, unlike other guys she had met. Her loss. I don't feel bad atall I am no longer gonna be asking her out.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • Besides leaving her, you need to use this experience to figure out what kind of girl you want (note: not what kind of girl you don't want, there is a difference).

    It also tells you what constitute an abusive relationship. From what you wrote, it appears that she did most, if not all, of what abusers do to their partners.

    Putting you down

    Making you feel bad about yourself

    Calling you names

    Implying that you are crazy

    Playing mind games

    Using guilt as a weapon of control

    Using humiliation

    Making light of the abuse

    Saying abusive behavior was not abusive

    Shifting the responsibility for the behavior to you

    For details >>> link

  • I hate to be the first post to say the obvious but...

    There is only a slight chance that someone like this is ever going to change from the 'blame anyone else' mode as this is a function of her lack of self discipline and absense of personal responsibility. Responsible adults see two or more sides to each story and do not hit others. Ever. You seem rational in your post and while I'm only hearing your side of the story I have personally known another girl with behavior issues similar to those you describe and she eventually lost all but the most tolerant of friends due to her abusive behavior. You might want to consider how long you want to withstand this continued poor behavior because it's unlikely to change.

    And BTW all guys are pervs, some more openly but all check out a nice rack if it's placed on display.