How to stop being scared of tall, or muscular men?

[Anonymous]

I'm really scared of tall and big men. Originally I was In an abusive relationship, my boyfriend was really tall and muscular, but I'm super small and weak. So every time I see a guy whose tall or big I get scared that he's going to hurt me, or that he can hurt me.
I'm supposed to be going on a date that a friend set up and she said the guy was really tall. He sounds like a really nice guy spin don't want to cancel, but I also don't want to be afraid the whole night.

[Wh1teRabb1t]

I'm sorry to hear what your ex did you. I'm also very small, and not very strong (I'm 5ft 3in and 110lb) and I became concern about my safety when I was moving away to college. I've taken a few self defense classes and I've learned that a smaller/lighter person can EASILY win a fight against someone who is bigger than them. You just need to figure out how 'strength' out of the equation. I know this sounds silly but let me explain. For example, lets say some guy comes and starts to choke you. A person's first response would be to panic and to try and grab their attacker's hands so they can breath. But what the victim should do is press their thumbs into eye sockets of their attacker. It doesn't matter how big or strong your attacker is, getting jabbed in the eyes is going to hurt them and they will let go unless they want to become blind. There are another of numerous techniques but I would be here for ever trying to explain them all. You don't need to be black belt to learn basic forms of self defense. Another thing that I never leave my dorm without is my pepper spray. and I even wear it on my lanyard which I use to hold my college ID and dorm key. Also it would also help if you meet this guy only in public places. If he asks to meet you in a more secluded place, explain to him why it would make you feel uncomfortable and he should understand.

[Red7336]

your mind connected tall guys and pain/abuse i guess

i would go to counselingor maybe a psychiatrist/psychologist (idk the difference lol but you know what i mean)
i also think dating/relationships/guys should be the last thing on your mind till you get over this first, trust me you can't go into a new relationship till you're stable again first

[Asker]

Oh okay. I'm not terrified or anything, I just get a little anxious. Some days are better than others though

[Red7336]

even better ! means you're not that bad after what happend! :D

[front2back]

Yeah, sorry, but it doesn't really happen. As a tall muscular dude all I see is women scared of me on a daily basis. I guess it's partly because of the "eat shit" look I give off on my normal face, but still.

I guess you'll either get over it eventually or it's engrained.

[Red7336]

i like tall strong dudes, its not the case with everyone but yea i guess that look will do (on any body type) lol

[TadCurious]

This makes me really sad because I'm a tall guy. I'm 6' 3" and 195 lbs. I wouldn't ever want someone in your position to be afraid of me because of how my build is. I hope you'll give this guy a chance. It sounds like you want to.

[Asker]

Yeah i really try to not get scared, but it happens sometimes. I think my friend gave him a hint about my past, because he was especially nice and patient.

[Brenden4202]

This fear is irrational. You just have the gave it and get over it. I'm only 6" but I'm a bodybuilder some girls are turned on by my physique but most all of them are just scared to even look at me. It sucks and it's annoying.

[Asker]

It's irrational, but when I see them all I can think is that if they turned I couldn't help myself

[Grubhub]

You’d get frightened by me. I’m tall and muscular. I scare everybody

[SkaterDude]

it's all in your mind, not everyone are like your ex

[Anonymous]

Wear heels, and lift weights (do you even lift, sis)

[Klaatu51]

how tall are you and hw much do you weigh?

[Asker]

I'm 5'2 and 110 pounds

[Klaatu51]

i thought you'd say sth like 4'10" 80 pounds LOL but you're not so petite but still petite... not a good thing sorry :-(

[Asker]

i've gained weight, i'm usually 100lbs. but what's bad about that

[Klaatu51]

you can do nothing if a tall muscular guy attacks you, except run away

[Asker]

Yeah that's true. I'm basically worlds weakest person. Im trying to become more assertive right now. Usually I'm too shy to say when things bother me

[Anonymous]

Idea date a small guy , problem solved easy

[Asker]

I have tried dating small guys, in act they're usually what I search for. But i didn't set this date up my friends did, he seems really nice; I'm just afraid I'll be anxious the whole night

[Opinion Owner]

Best to feel comfortable , you have every right to cancel it. I've cancelled dates before like set up a date changed my mind so just said " Hey I'm sorry , I don't feel comfortable going on a date with you. You're not a bad person that's just how I feel" You have to be happy at the end of the day>

[Asker]

Yeah I'm still deciding though