She doesn't open up to anybody, should I keep liking her? Is it worth it?

[Anonymous]

So there's this girl I've liked for well over a year now who doesn't open up to ANYBODY. Even her friends. And it's me 90% of the time initiating the conversation. When it comes to just me and her, and me asking her directly about herself or anything, she responds but sort of dodges any sort of answer that's good or bad. For example, her best friend told me once that I made her feel bad about something. Then, when I ask her, she just says that she didn't care. But when she is with her friends, she takes the oppurtunity, especially on social media, to butt in and start random conversations and tease me. She's definitely more comfortable with me than she was 6 months ago, but is it worth it all?

[Mairu]

Someone who does not easily open up to people, yes it'll take time but when it happens, the connection is significantly strengthened. They will care a lot about you, and will treat that bond specially. So in that regard, even if you don't end up with her (or at first), but she opens her heart to you, is that worth it to you? Her as a person, is it worth it to you? If so, go for it. If you care about her like that, she'll be lucky to have you, and I'm sure she'll at least feel it too, maybe not at first, but sincerity will come through.

It'll entail a lot of patience and respect for boundaries (especially at first, even if it does get a little frustrated), a lot of care and understanding. It is a lot of work, but there are still mannerisms, behavior, expressions. If your willing to give that much attention to that and the words she does say, that's when you learn when to press a case and when to give her space. I think if that can be established, then slowly but surely, she'll open up to you. (especially if she knows you care for how she thinks, no matter how odd it may be)

Opening her up, well you got to slowly get to really know her. If you feel that she really does not notice your efforts, and she really doesn't want to say anything personal to you even after all of the things mentioned which you may have already been doing, then that is when you're really hitting your head on the wall. It wouldn't be worth it then. But if you can open her up, and she does make you feel happy, i think it would be worth it. Its a delicate case, and ultimately its down to how you feel.

Sorry if I'm not much help, or even making much sense. I don't open up to people easily myself and I know that the people I confide with now had to be very patient with me for a long while, They're very few (I understand its no easy task) but I'm grateful for them everyday.

[infernoskies]

Ah, this is most likely shyness.
People do tend to open up but considering that she hasn't been very comfortable with her friends- that's a problem. She may need some time but be sure to ask open ended questions and about things that you know/think she likes. That is one of the best conversation starters.
If you ferl like you don't want to waste time on her than, yes, move on but trust me, nobody can stay reserved and closed forever.

[d0llieee]

i believe you should because I'm like that and when you get to know me I'm the nicest person you'll ever meet it may take a while for her to trust you but it'll be worth it

[Anonymous]

She's not a good match for you so why keep pushing it? You're hitting your head against the wall. This is her, move on.