Why don't girls approach guys?

[Anonymous]

Why we always have to approch first because girls says we want independnes and we want to treat the same as guys then why dont you approch first.

[crystalt70]

Just because girls want to be allowed more freedoms doesn't mean they aren't still a bit old fashioed or that they don't like chivalry. And, no, that does not mean girls can't or don't ask guys out. I know a few girls who have done the asking. What men don't realize is that women are ruled by emotions and they like to know that a guy really likes them. Girls want to feel wanted. Guys pursuing them gives them that validation. It is not a bad thing in either case. Like I said, there are plenty of girls who do the asking. Not all are comfortable with that or may not want to be the one to ask.

[Asker]

Some girls don't like to propose first because why if he prpouse he will pay for dates

[crystalt70]

I can't say prove or disprove that theory. Personally, I have never witnessed that. I wouldn't not ask a guy out for that reason. I don't mind paying the bill if I have it. By the way, it has been proven that men get paid more. There have been studies on it with members of both sexes doing the same job. In the majority of the studies, the men were paid more for the same work.

[Asker]

How much more is he getting double no
And in some cases I saw girl wanting men to pay for them even they get more
In some sectors women getting more

[crystalt70]

I guess it depends on where you are. Anyway, I keep seeing these questions about who asks who out and who pays the bill. It seems like men are getting frustrated. I understand, but the men keep assuming things about women that just aren't true. We are not looking for free meals and we don't have ulterior motives to not asking guys out. It's tradition. It's how things have always been. Men are more bold and brave compared to women. Women want to feel needed. Women don't like rejection. Etc. Women like certain types of guys and choose guys based on their actions. I'm sure the same can be said for some guys. Personally, I prefer manly men who are open and slightly outgoing and positive in attitude. I have no problem with asking a guy out. I do prefer that the guy make the initial contact by asking for the first date. After that, I will be more secure and comfortable to ask him for a date. If I asked, I would pay.

[Asker]

But why men are asking girls out majority time then mens are paying for more dates

[crystalt70]

Because that's what they are okay with doing. Don't like it? Don't do it. These guys are being proactive in finding dates instead of sitting back and hoping some girl approaches them while missing out on tons of possible dates. If he finds a girl that he likes and feels that he wants her to pay for some dates, then he can discuss it with her. I will say though, this will offend many women who will turn around and dump the guy. Women like doing things out of the goodness of their hearts. They don't want a guy telling her what he thinks she should be doing. Personally, I wouldn't date someone like you. Not because I don't want to pay, but because you want to push something on me because you don't want to be the one to do it. I like guys that want to care for me. I don't mean this financially, because I could care less about money. I want to feel cherished, loved, wanted, needed, protected, etc. I DO NOT like being told what to do. I do want to do things for my guy that make him feel good

[Asker]

Who said I am going to ask a girl to pay for mW it is rude she
Loves me then she will pay otherwise don't pay

[Asker]

you want all this things from your men but you don't do anything for him what it means what is the use of him from you

[Asker]

Ok he will pay for you all the time bit what about you you will enjoy with your money but he has to spent his money on you

[crystalt70]

You obviously didn't read what I wrote.

[crystalt70]

I did a lot of stuff for my man. He actually was the user in our relationship and took advantage of me. I'm used to it by now because I ALWAYS do things for other people. I like making people happy. It feels good to do so. You are making these assumptions about me based on your own blindness. You have not listened to a word that I have said. I will not waste another breath.

[Asker]

When he is paying for all what you are doing for him

[Redcrownqueen]

I guess girls don't approach guys first is because we really didn't have civil rights back then and it was seen as rude a aggressive if a girl asked the guy out. Also when girls ask guys out of makes them seem desperate. But now that the view of girls has changed I think more and more girls are asking guys out so don't worry about just guys asking girl out.

[Asker]

thank for boosting
what is your thoughts about who should pay

[justbanANNAz]

I don't know, gender roles constructed that whole thing.
i dont mind following this one tho lol, id be terrified to approach a guy. i guess i dont like doing it because i dont want to look desperate or risk being rejected.

[Asker]

If the guys have the same issue

[justbanANNAz]

I'm aware of that.

[Asker]

Then what will you do

[justbanANNAz]

im not doing anything. if a man really feels that he wants to know me, he will want to get to know me. it's not rocket science.

[Asker]

That means you never approchs a guy
Every time men only habe to approch you

[justbanANNAz]

good lawd, i have approached men, let's not jump to judgements here -.-
im not gonna sit here explaining my life story. i gave u my opinion already.

[Asker]

No
I am not going judge you just I get that from your opinion

[DonkeyKong1979]

In my experience women usually make the first move. Ok, that 'move' is usually more subtle than outright asking him out, but more often that not when a guy asks a girl out she's already made it pretty clear that's what she wants him to do.

Women are usually the initiators of relationships, because they are more emotionally intelligent than most of us guys could hope to be, all we have to do is kearn to pick up on their signals.

[crystalt70]

I have to say, I really like most of your responses to questions. Nicely said.

[Asker]

That mean we have to pay for dates

[DonkeyKong1979]

This is about money? I honestly can't ever remember going on a first date where she hasn't at least offered to pay her half, or I get the meal, she gets the drinks or something. I honestly thought the whole 'the man pays for the date' thing was a thing of the past. Maybe it's just the type of woman I go for.

[DonkeyKong1979]

And thanks @crystalt70 I find your responses to be well worth taking the time to read too.

[crystalt70]

Thank you. : ) And, yes, I do think that women should at least offer to pay her half or the entire bill. I would not feel right assuming or expecting him to pay. The fact that he WANTS to do so and/or doesn't EXPECT me to pay is a plus in my book. It shows me that he is not selfish.

[gray_sailor]

@crystalt70.
@DonkeyKong1979

That "learning to pick up signals" thing has always been a massive blind spot for me.

I really have no way of knowing how many opportunities I simply was never aware of.

This is why I like online communication. Everyone has to play at the level of my disadvantage.

It also explains why I met my wife online.

[Asker]

That means you will offer but he have to decline that mean yes he is not selfish but you are
@crystalt70

[crystalt70]

@gray_sailor I suck at reading men when it comes to me, but I can always tell when a man is attracted to another woman. I have no clue why. I also tend to be more open online. I literally have balls when it comes to speaking my mind via the net or text.

[crystalt70]

Tbh, I have been told that I am the opposite of most women when it comes to men. Most women think that men are checking them out. I am blind when it comes to men checking me out. I just don't see it.

[DonkeyKong1979]

@gray_sailor Having had a mix of relationships that started online and face to face abd women definitely seem more bold and forthright online than face to face. But maybe that's just me, I've always been better at expressing myself in writing than in conversation. Fortunately there are a lot of girls who like a man who can articulate himself well in the written word.

It's why the love letter is a time honoured form of seduction!

[gray_sailor]

Yeah, I hear you. Love letters would have saved my very first relationship.

Now if only my handwriting did not look like it came from an epileptic experiencing a seizure.

There was a reason that I was the first student to ever submit word processed writing assignments to my senior year social studies teacher in high school. (Work performed on an Apple lle)

[Splithead]

No one wants to do it, or very few people want to do it I should say. Men do it because when we don't... we often won't get any ladies at all. Women don't have that problem. In short, it's not necessary that they do it. Rejection sucks for everyone equally, ladies can just get by with less of it in that regard.

[Asker]

That mean you want sex so you will go and beg everything time

[Splithead]

Yea but if you fight that, you'll still not have sex.

[Asker]

All the girls have to know that what happens if they don't...

[muspelhem_5]

I think there are many reasons. It's the norm, many don't feel the need to do it, but also slut-shaming.

Guys who slut-shame women are really dumb in my opinion, because one of the effects is that it makes women afraid of being too forward. So it hits those guys like a boomerang. I understand that maybe they feel like all the other guys are getting the women anyway, but still. Don't shoot yourself in the foot :)

[MrCryptic]

Guys don't think girls are sluts for approaching men, they think they are sluts when they put out way too quickly and too often.

[muspelhem_5]

@MrCryptic: Thanks for proving my point idiot.

[MrCryptic]

How? The two ideas are different. A woman saying hi to guy first or making a first SOCIAL move is a lot different than a woman making the first SEXUAL move. Any normal and rational guy won't think a girl is a slut for making a social move but many do when they make the first sexual move. It's not complicated man. Can you even have an adult discussion without hurling insults?

[muspelhem_5]

How can you separate the two? And what is the problem for guys if a woman is horny and just wants sex? I mean, is the world full of guys getting laid too much? Is that a real issue? "No, spare me, please, too much sex, please have mercy..."

[MrCryptic]

Thank you for an adult comment this time around. The two are separate unless the first social move a woman makes is making out with you and grabbing your nuts the moment she meets you. Let's say you are at a sporting event and a woman is sitting next to you and politely starts a conversation about the sport and asks questions or offers an opinion or two. That is a first social move. No rational man will think a woman is a slut for this and many men like this kind of thing. A first sexual move would be something like a woman you don't know grinding her butt all over you at a night club. Believe it or not many men don't care for having sex or care for having it that quickly or with complete strangers. Many men also tend to respect women who are less promiscuous. Are there men who prefer a woman who puts out right away? Sure, but those are typically men who put sex on a pedestal and many of them don't respect the woman they are even having sex with.

[MrCryptic]

(continued) The problem for many men with women who they perceive as sluts is that they don't take them as serious long term dating or marriage material which might be what they're looking for. Many think they have more tendency to cheat and lie.

[Jellybeansr]

It IS unfair. I think it's just our primitive instincts. Just look at wild animals. In the wild, most of the time not always, the male hunts the females down

[Asker]

That mean according to primitive instincts you will be house wife yes

[Jellybeansr]

No. wow you missed the point.

[Jellybeansr]

Dump ass? I was referring to our hunter/gatherer ancestors.

[Asker]

Yeah
That is what I am saying you want your men to pay for your dates by making men approaching you

[Jellybeansr]

Yes. That's exactly what I mean. You win. Congratulations

[Asker]

Thanks I know you are a gold digger

[Anonymous]

I approach guys all the time... I never heard of that one before. But girls like to be chased rather than having to chase after a guy. That's dudes work.

[Asker]

That is a dude work
If I saw gi work is to work in home so don't go for job

[Opinion Owner]

Guys aren't supposed to expect the girls to do all there work for them. It's supposed to be equal. Girls aren't supposed to be bossed around to do house work all the time while their bf is doing whatever the frig he wants. Control.

[Asker]

So why you saying approaching is guys work

[Asker]

And paying for dates

[Opinion Owner]

It's a Better gesture for respect to women. That's why. It's rude for u to ask a girl to pay unless she offers but it's nicer not to let her pay. Duh.

[Asker]

That means you want him to pay for your dates

[Opinion Owner]

Not necessarily

[Opinion Owner]

But the guy would seem like a jerk if he didn't. Then I just wouldn't date him...

[Asker]

Ok
I got it he will pay and you will give sexsex great nothing but...

[Opinion Owner]

Whatever u say prick. Not to be rude. But grow up. Be a man!!! I'm only 14 and I know better

[Asker]

What you know more is how to use men money

[Asker]

You are following gender roles for your advantage for remaining you are leaving

[Opinion Owner]

If u have a problem with even paying for a girls meal ur cheap. Don't use woman they are to be respected. That's pretty sad I feel sorry for u. End of discussion.

[Asker]

Guys hardly date 4girl in life and pays for all what is the use is sex great
and I pay for all my dates because girls are born to use men but what ever girls do I only know that how to love

[Phoenix98]

Shyness, fear of rejection, looking desperate, basically the same fears we as guys have when it comes to the whole matter.

[I_am_repulsive]

Because man shouldn't be a pussy to approach and tell the girls exactly what they want.

[Asker]

That mean you want sex so you will go and beg everything time

[I_am_repulsive]

How exactly did you come to that conclusion? No we where did I mention about sex whatosever.

[Asker]

Then what

[I_am_repulsive]

What do you men then what? You simply ask them out. If they reject you, that's fine. There's always another girl, or plenty of fish around.

[Asker]

Yes
Bit why don't they approach

[Asker]

They also can think the same

[I_am_repulsive]

Because they shouldn't have to, but if they really want someone, they would ask them out regardless.

[_Feline]

Nawww.. scared of approaching a GIRRRLLL? We're gonna bite your arm off? Haha :p why can't men be men nowadays? always complaining, almost sounding like a girl.

[Asker]

guy means have to pay for dates
Yes and girl means yeah you are a men pay for dates I will offer but decline it

[Asker]

Thats great

[Splithead]

This kind of makes you sound like you don't respect women. Also, from what most women have to say it's very easy to lose your man card. Almolst anything can revoke it. Kind of a weird double standard. Can you think of one thing that most people will agree makes a woman not a woman? @_Feline

[Asker]

According to your opinion I got everything you want sex
@Splithead
Girls are not sex toys
I respect girls because I don't treat girls as sex yoys

[_Feline]

One thing that I can come up with that makes a woman not a woman is approaching a guy. Seriously, we women can give you a ''green card, come talk to me'' and THEN you guys come and talk to us. What else do you want us to do? put a sign on our forehead written: COME TALK TO ME!. No. We give signs, you guys come to us. It's that simple!

[Asker]

Is this to me or to that guy

[_Feline]

That guy

[chupislolol]

If he's a shy person I'll make the first move , but I he's not I'll wait till he does & if he doesn't then ill do it. But some girls are shy to do the first move it depends on the girl in my opinion

[Asker]

Sounds good

[GamerQueen46]

Cause I've been rejected way too many times and now I let the guys come to me

[Anonymous]

We're just used to guys making the first move so we rarely do it ourselves.

[Asker]

Yes
You girl make the guy s take first move because of he did then they will pay for dates and you enjoys

[Opinion Owner]

Honestly even if the guy does make the first move I, personally, don't expect him to pay for the first date

[Asker]

That was good

[Asker]

But why don't you make first move

[Opinion Owner]

I'm kinda shy and I usually don't take rejection well lol

[Asker]

if you like a guy and she is also shynthwn what will you do

[Opinion Owner]

If I already know he likes me, I'll try to make a move

[Asker]

"shynthwn"
*shy then

[Opinion Owner]

If I know he likes me and I'm kinda comfortable around him I'll make the first move, it depends how well I know him.

[Asker]

That was nice

[AlwaysBelieving]

Part of the reason is the fear of rejection. Part of it is societal standards.

[kangy]

Same reasons why guys dont dare to approach girls

[Asker]

Many times guys only approaching

[kangy]

Guys dont approach much these days, do they?

[Asker]

Yes
Guys still approaching
Actually I depends on your region too

[kangy]

Would you make the first move?

[Asker]

Yes, because I can but my question is why don't girls do

[kangy]

The reasons i had stated

[justbanANNAz]

i should have just said this lol. +1

[Asker]

What I understood from your reasons is girls don't want to pay for dates

[kangy]

@ asker when did i say that?

[Asker]

That is what I am saying
What did you say nothing that is why I am asking tell why don't you ask guys out

[Asker]

I can but why don't women

[StickStickity13]

Because they don't have to.

[Asker]

That mean you want sex so you will go and beg everything time

[Anonymous]

I approached a guy before

[Asker]

Is he said ok

[Opinion Owner]

Nooooo

[Asker]

O
Sorry
I hope you will get a nice person

[Opinion Owner]

He is nice ☺️

[Asker]

Nice
Nice

[Opinion Owner]

mmhmm... nice
nice
Nice