Why don't guys approach girls anymore?

[Anonymous]

Is it like shyness or what? I'm not saying guys should always be the one to approach I'm just curious.

[Anonymous]

While it's a complicated issue (e. g., technology has made it less urgent for guys to seek out girls... think about that for two seconds...) much of it boils down to feminism and the effects it has had within society on a broader scale.

Young men, by and large, are simply not encouraged to be aggressive anymore. Plus, so many young men are raised without a strong, present father figure these days - even if they are not actively discouraged from developing a healthy masculine attitude toward life in general, they may not have anyone to emulate in their lives.

Also, the level of success men have with women is - generally speaking - inversely proportional to the degree to which they have picked-up the new post-feminism attitude. The minority of men who have not picked-up that attitude and behave more masculine (based on our species' biological instincts) are far more successful with women than the average man, who has been taught to not act in a self-assured manner (which is precisely what women are attracted to - guys: that's why the best advice with a girl is to "be yourself," women liked a confidant man for biological reasons and they smell fear).

As a bi guy, I've seen this issue from so many different perspectives (both personally and in my friends' relationships), but the above is what it boils down to. Girls hate this answer, though - tried explaining this to one of my girlfriends one time when she was bitching about her boyfriend and she ended up more upset with me than she originally had been with him... go figure.

[Indycysive]

On a personal level, I don't approach anyone because I'm afraid of being shot down.
Being just pushed to the side.
Of course I approach new coworkers and such but it's easier because you two can relate to something automatically
But I mean.. stranger. Phew. They'll tear you up the moment you ask how they're doing
Unless you're a cashier like me haha
Anyway.. if you mean approaching an attractive girl, then one reason could be this. I'm not exactly the relationship type. I don't know how to be a boyfriend, and even if I wanted to be, I'm worrying about too much right now. Paying for my car, college, work. So although we might think you're pretty, we simply just cannot do it. We don't see too much of ourselves. Just unpopular, unable to interact with other beings

[Underestim8ed]

Guys are just as shy as us girls. We all fear rejection and don't want to be let down. Really they're just as relieved when a girl they like talks to them as we are when they talk to us.

[SabyToes]

no one approaches anyone anymore, everyone's scared of people - including me lol

[Anonymous]

the answers pretty simple but every time someone gives the answer, they get shouted down

the answer is feminism. everything from bashing men, which destroys their self confidence, all the way to telling people that men and women are just the same, which leads men to think if she really liked me she would approach

and its getting worse. look at the fad for gender neutral clothes and toys these days. at least i didn't have that in my day. thats going to mentally fuck up a lot of guys even more

[Opinion Owner]

also i have to say. a lot of guys are just giving up. those guys aren't approaching because they actually dont want sex/relationships anymore if they ever did. that can be for all kinds of reasons

[bumblebritches5]

Truth

[Asker]

Both sexes bash on each other and have way too high of expectations for each other. It sucks.

[Belleza2]

no your right... I agree

[Opinion Owner]

the problem specifically with bashing men is that we rely as a society on male confidence and assertiveness, and very few people can be confident/assertive while theyre being bashed. i seriously worry for the future of the western world. where are tomorrows fathers going to come from? where are tomorrows job-creators and entrepreneurs going to come from? where are tomorrows soldiers going to come from?

but people are just so dumb. what are these gender neutral fad parents thinking? how stupid and destructive can people be?

[Anonymous]

Guys are shy just like girls, but on top of that, male sexuality is currently seen as perverted or creepy. Even approaching a girl we find attractive often comes with all sorts of insults attached such as that we are shallow for liking a girl that we don't know well on a personal level yet. The fact that the whole point of dating is to get to know the other person seems to have been lost. Girls your age are often especially cruel to guys that may have spent weeks working up the courage to approach her.

[Jayce98]

I think times have changed. The flirting and dating scene is no longer solely up to the guy. It's not just the fact that we fear rejection (especially those guys who are really shy), but also because flirting / dating / relationships are a two-way street. It shouldn't be guys doing all the asking, women should too in my opinion.

I personally find when a girl asks me out to be a HUGE turn on (because of the directness and I hate playing games). These are different times and only the very few follow the traditional old ways.

[Folklore]

it feels like guys generally can't approach a woman without some sort of disciplinary action taken against them or something. No matter what you walk up and say or do, women (generally) just seem to scrutinize men for their perverseness. At the end of the day, if a man was to randomly go around and ask for a date from 20 different women, he's bound to get at least a couple numbers. But the amount of flak a guy will get from the rest isn't really worth it.

[UglyKevin]

LOL. Who told you that? More guys approach than girls and they always will. But than again girls need to do much but either say yes or reject the guy.

[bumblebritches5]

Because women are far bitchier than they used to be...

[Asker]

No, it's because both sexes have too high of expectations for the other.

[bumblebritches5]

That's why women initiate 80% of divorces right? because both genders equally have unrealistic expectations?

[Asker]

We all do have unrealistic expectations. You can't pin one statistic on all women.

[bumblebritches5]

Why not? it's a fact that women start divorce proceedings, usually stating "irreconcilable differences" for the divorce, aka he didn't do everything she wanted...

[Asker]

Not true at all. Sure, some women do start them but they aren't the only ones. Any divorce I have ever witnessed was for a variety of reasons within the relationship, not the woman.

[bumblebritches5]

Some? 80% is the vast majority... and considering the divorce rate is 50%, that means 90% of women have obviously unrealistic expectations.

[Asker]

That's not necessarily true, and that 10% of women should not be held accountable for other women's actions or choices.

[bumblebritches5]

I'm not holding the ten percent accountable, I'm saying it's not worth it when 90% of the time, you're just wasting your energy. tt's called logic.

[Asker]

It's called statistics and they aren't completely reliable

[bumblebritches5]

YEs, those are statistics, what I just extrapolated from it and based my decision on is called logic. are you retarded?

[Anonymous]

Guys want women to approach nowadays cause they fear rejection more

[Anonymous]

I had a guy stare at me, hug me a lot, and then think explicit thoughts. Never asked me out. Then broke off our friendship as he said i annoyed him.

[Anonymous]

Most of us are under the impression that girls are supposed to ask us out... or well, at least since the times have changed, we are

[bumblebritches5]

Uh, what? in every movie, book, etc the man asks the women out, so what exactly are you basing your opinion on?

[Asker]

Ehh kinda. Honestly I kind of expect a guy to approach me but that's because I'm scared shitless at even the thought of approaching a guy.

[Opinion Owner]

That the times have changed

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly, you would, if you weren't scared... it's all about who's got more confidence, not about "who's SUPPOSED to approach who"

[Asker]

Very very true

[oldtom188]

They are probably tired of girls leading them on because they like attention and have no interest.

[Anonymous]

Because they are

Wait for it...

P-P-P-P-PUSSIIIEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!

[Blueeyes81]

What's your basis for comparison? 1 years worth of dating.