Girls, when she says she wants space to clear her head, is it simply that or is she seeing someone else?

[Sillytoad]

I've been seeing this girl casually for 6 months. She's out of a divorce a year ago and says she doesn't want a relationship. It was supposed to be just sex, then about a month ago we both started to develop feelings. She backed away because it isn't what she wanted, but I know the feelings were there. She recently said she wanted some space to clear her head. She keeps saying she isn't ending it but she wants some time and space.
Do you think it's simply for the reasons she said? Needing to clear her head etc... Or do you think she might be seeing someone else and doesn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me, and maybe keeping me around if it doesn't work out with someone else?
Do you think I'd be burning the bridge if I asked her outright if she's seeing someone? And what are the odds of her coming back?

[PureandSimple1992]

If a relationship isn't what she wanted and she started developing feelings, then I would say she just wants space to clear her head. She just might be a little scared of getting hurt or whatever or scared of what she's feeling and she doesn't want to disappoint you. It could really be anything. If you really want to know, ask her. I would want to know. I hate the feeling of not knowing something and feeling that I wasted my time. Good Luck with whatever you choose to do!

[Sillytoad]

She said was confused and she did want space to clear her head. On Sunday we had a good chat and she said that. I asked her if she wanted me to wait for her. She said I don't expect you to wait for me but I need space to clear my head... Yesterday we talked again and she was upset and insisted she never had feelings and she never saw it going anywhere and all she ever wanted was friends with benefits . So her actions and words changed depending on her mood it seems? I don't know exactly how to peruse this but she needs space. I'm ok with keeping the friends with benefits if that's all it ever is, I just needed to know.
Do you think it's possible to keep her as at least that if I give her some space, or is she likely to forget about me? How long should I give it? 2 weeks with no contact and text her? Or should I wait for her to text me however long it takes?

[Bards]

It could be anything. Just ask her what's wrong and be patient. Ask her what you feel like asking so that you'll have peace

[Sillytoad]

I do want to ask her if she's seeing someone so I know if I need to walk away peacefully if that's the case, but if I'm wrong I don't want it to push her away more. There's something she isn't telling me, but like you said it could be anything.

[Sillytoad]

And would she be honest about it? I've caught her lying about stupid little things before. I just don't want to be strung along or made w second option.. But on the other hand if she is really honest about just needing space I want to be around, but I can't wait forever.

[Bards]

If it pushes her away then she isn't being mature about it. A well thinking person will be calm and give you a direct answer. If she says no then you say something like "okay, sorry. I thought maybe you lost interest. Blah blah" sugar her up. You can say that you missed her and that you were worried that you did something wrong.

Women like that sort of thing because you aren't blaming them and you sound like you care.

[Bards]

If she lies about little things then there's a strong chance should could lie about being with someone else. And you should move on of she responds negatively to you. If she's serious about needing space and can talk to you about what's really going on with her, then wait around a little longer.

She should care about how you feel too

[Sillytoad]

So we had another good chat yesterday. She finally explained it in a way I could understand. She feels like I've been smothering her. I never understood that. So she wants some time away from me. I feel like crap because I had no idea she felt that way. She had backed off when she realized she had feelings and she didn't want to. She wanted just a friends with benefits . She still won't admit the feelings but that doesn't matter.. Now that I know where she stands I'm not confused any more, but now im sad because I feel like I lost my best friend. I'm ok with being just friends with benefits with her. We've been close friends for months and the sex was great... She needs space away from me now. I feel really bad but I understand... Now that I know where we stand there's no confusion and I'd like to get back what we had before... Do you think that's possible?

[Bards]

Ohh okay. I'm glad she spoke up and you know where you stand. I can't say for sure. Its only possible if she allows it. Give her her space and then when she comes around, do what you were doing with her before and see what happens.

Since she has feelings for you there's a chance that it will be more than friends with benefits in time. If that's what you'd like ultmiately.

[Sillytoad]

Is there a certain amount of time that's too soon to text her? I'm thinking I'll try to give it a couple of weeks. Do you think that's enough time for her, or should I wait for her to text me no matter how long it takes?

[Bards]

Give it a couple of weeks and move on if she doesn't respond. You shouldn't wait on one person too long no matter how much they mean to you because life is short and there's many great ladies around.

[Sillytoad]

This is true... She's only ever ignored my texts once for half a day when she was mad. Other than that she's always responded. I'm sure she will respond no matter how long I wait, but I think the longer the better. But not too long or they only thing I'll get is a friend. If she doesn't respond then I'll know for sure that she's done. I'm guessing she won't text me first, but I want to make sure it's been long enough to be comfortable talking to me again. If she does text first, that will be better, but I don't think she will. It was her idea to walk away. She said she isn't ending what we have, just creating some space so I hope that will still apply... But you're right, I can't wait around forever for someone who lost interest.

[Bards]

Hmm well I hope it works out for you both :) ❤