Girls, is self-confidence ever a turn-off?

[Anonymous]

I'm a very confident guy. I'm proud of who I am and don't apologize for it. I work hard in the gym and love my body, even the parts that are less than perfect. I don't maintain a six-pack and I only have an average-sized dick, but I think it's awesome and worthy of any girl. I truly love life!

The only problem is, I've met several girls over the past year who started out being into me but then faded out pretty quickly. One of them was a friend of one of my female friends, and she told my friend that I seemed too high on myself. I don't consider myself to be overly self-involved at all. I feel like I'm just a confident guy. Is it possible to be so self-confident that it turns girls off?

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+1 y

I guess I just don't know where the line is between confidence and cockiness.

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+1 y

Do you think that unconfident girls maybe aren't attracted to confident guys?

[Michamabelle]

Having confident is a turn on and pretty attractive but not being cocky or having like a huge ego or think that you're better then anybody. Some girls like when a guy is confident but doesn't show it all the time.
and as for you question about unconfident girls not being attracted to confident guys, i'm not 100% sure but unconfident girls might find confident guys a bit intimidating so they will feel inferior to them or they will be very shy around them (but that's my opinion and point of view)

[HuckyHucky]

Only if it crosses the line into haughtiness. I know a guy who struts around like a rooster all the time with an "I know you want this" attitude, and it's gross to me, 100% turn-off.

You can have high self-esteem AND be humble. That's the best combo.

[Asker]

My feeling about myself isn't so much "I know you want this," but rather "I'm very proud of who I am."

[HuckyHucky]

Yeah that sounds confident, not cocky. And confidence is very good.

[spuitkaas]

I love confidence, but till a certain level. I hate cocky guys. Maybe you were a little bit above the turning point and some girls are sensitive for that.

[Asker]

What's the turning point for you, i. e. at what point does a guy go from being confident to cocky?

[spuitkaas]

If he starts talking about himself and his accomplishments (if it's really often).
But it's good if you're just confident, because it makes you more stable.

[Asker]

Ok, that makes sense. I'm not boastful, just happy to be me. Confidence is all about stability because when you have strong self-belief, nothing really throws you off your stride.

[spuitkaas]

Yeah I understand that. I mean I have my insecurities, but I'm overall quite confident.
Sometimes people who are perfectly confident can be a little boring to a person, but by asking this question it meand that you're not that kind of person.
Maybe the girls you dated weren't confident and maybe you felt different to them. Not sure though.

[char_char]

If it's over the top and comes across as cocky or condescending then yes. You asked about the line. Being clear and assertive (confident) can be super sexy. What ISN'T sexy is sitting down for dinner with a guy who talks about his accomplishments and himself constantly in a way that comes across as condescending or over the top.

[Asker]

I don't do that because I know that blathering about yourself is NOT a way to build chemistry with a girl. Bragging is a chemistry killer, mostly.

[char_char]

Then you are probably good. Confidence isn't about what you say as much as how you carry yourself.

[Anonymous]

I'm not a very confident girl so I think a really confident guy would scare me away a little? But it also might help me accept myself more. Depends on the person I guess.

[Asker]

that's a very good point, and one I considered when I was trying to figure out what went wrong.

[donttrytofindme]

Confidence will always be sexy. That's what attracted me to my boyfriend. He seemed high on himself, and I loved him for it. Psychological studies show that men are most attracted to women when they are smiling, and least attracted to them when they look proud. However, women are least attracted to men when they are smiling, and most attracted to them when they look proud. If girls are turned off I think it is due to an unrelated issue.

[broadwaybrunette]

I have the exact same problem. I am actress, I'm talented and I know it, so that can come across as me being full of myself when I am really just confident in my abilities. So I totally get you. And this happens for girls a lot too. BUT being confident/ being comfterable in your own skin is not only important for yourself but, in my opinion, is also a turn on. Be comfterable being yourself and I promise the right person will love it.

[Lilyloves]

Ok so you seem a little bit cocky, but that's ok because some girls need That in a guy. As for the girl, all you can do is wait, and then charm her with your 'good looks' and hopefully good personality
Just remember don't be too cocky, trust me no girl likes that. So In Moderation I guess

[BraidsGirl]

Nope. Maybe girls fade away because your confidence is overpowering to them and they aren't used to it

Loving yourself is not a bad thing, being arrogant about it is though (I'm not saying you're arrogant)

[NewNaughtiness]

When self confident becomes cocky and arrogant it can be a turn off for some girls, but if you find a girl who is comfortable in her own skin and can throw things back at you then you should be fine, just watch how much you express your self love

[inlovewithyou2014]

Nope. I like a self confident guy, and I'm an introvert, the very best thing he does is treats me awesome compared to others, and looks at me like I'm the prettiest thing he's ever seen when I walk into a room where he's at.

[heywhisper]

It's great to like yourself but if you are putting yourself before her then that may be where a girl loses interest.

[Anonymous]

Okay, self confidence in a guy is as hot as a women having self confidence. But sometimes guys have a little too much. Always talking about themselves rather then talking about anything else. If you're not like that then good for you but always talking about how you love this and that about yourself is kind of a turn off.

[Asker]

No, I don't do that at all because you can't build chemistry and rapport with a girl by boasting about yourself. Most girls would just roll their eyes. You create chemistry with girls by conversing, learning about them, teasing them playfully, making them laugh, holding eye contact, smiling... those are all things that require a guy to think outside of himself.

[LonelyLillie13]

there is self confident and then there is conceited

[Asker]

How do you define the difference between these two attitudes?

[LonelyLillie13]

self acceptance and a feeling equality to others is confidence... higher than mighty and belief that one is superior to others in one way or another... is conceited.

[Asker]

I don't feel high and mighty at all. In fact, I don't really compare myself with others at all. Comparisons usually just make people feel inadequate and unhappy about themselves.

[LonelyLillie13]

well then dont worry about it.

[Asker]

I just don't like the idea that I'm putting girls off, but I'm starting to think that these girls just weren't a match for me. It's disheartening when a girl starts out really warm and then fades quickly.

[LonelyLillie13]

watch your actions sometimes when a guy is around his friends he puts on his ego and comes across as loud and arrogant. if your not any of these things then dont worry it was just her or a few bad luck girls for you.

[GirlTurnWoman]

Yes too much of becomes Cockiness and that pisses me off.. it can be a huge turn off

[CaLi-GiRl]

I find confidence very sexy! Arrogance can come across shady though.. Be sure of your self in action more than words would be my best advice.

[Bards]

Its possible. You probably don't notice its over bearing. :((

[georgiaaaagirl]

no its not a turn on, wouldn't you prefer your girl to have self confidence?

[Asker]

I don't understand, what does a girl's self-confidence have to do with mine?

[georgiaaaagirl]

self confidence. doesn't have anything to do with gender..

[Asker]

I know, but I still don't understand what you meant in your original comment.

[georgiaaaagirl]

I meant self confidence wasn't a turn off* lol my bad..

[Asker]

Oh, ok. No, I love confident girls. They're very hot.

[georgiaaaagirl]

That's good.

[Muslimdemigod]

I like that but not too much u know full of himself or cares about his looks and her looks more then about her and his own personality and character

[Asker]

Guys who are really into their looks strike me as kind of insecure, actually. Like the more you worry about it, the less faith you have in it.

[Muslimdemigod]

True

[emerald77]

I like self-confidence!

[Lucyjackson7567]

If he's a douche about it, then yeah.

[Asker]

what if the guy is proud of himself in a low-key way?

[Lucyjackson7567]

Then I'm okay with that.

[TierraArvia]

No, over-confidence is a turn-off.

[jelenanoura]

Confidence is really amazing but without Ego

[EmilyPrudent1984]

Yes.