Is low self confidence a deal breaker?

[Anonymous]

Hi. So I have low self confidence. Always have and I'm assuming I'll always have it. Growing up my friends where all beautiful, tall and thin. I unfortunately am not. So all the way from early childhood to teenage years I heard how beautiful they where, an due to never hearing those words said to me, I developed low self esteem. Eventually I developed an ED, but with one and work I have recovered. But I'm still self conscious. I still take care of myself physically, but when I look in the mirror the amount of disappointment I feel is unbearable. Anyways is low self esteem a turn off

[BearsAnswers]

If guys could't handle being with women with low self-esteem there would be virtually no dates anywhere in the world. The amount of women with confidence or self-esteem issues is staggering.

Personally I have a bit of a quirk where I enjoy helping 'broken' girls, so it doesn't phase me at all, and can actually serve more as an initial attractant.

However, the one big thing that sometimes sabotages low self-confidence women is their constant self-deprecation after a guy has tried to convince them that's now how they see it. When a woman puts herself down and a guy tries to reaffirm her, or tell her that's not how he sees her, or he likes her just the way she is, if she continues to bring it up as an issue she is essentially telling the man that she doesn't believe him. That she thinks that he is lying when he tries to reassure her. And while I am fine with a woman who struggles to see her own inner beauty, I really don't like having someone constantly second guess me or make me say the same thing over and over. If you don't believe me when I say I like you just the way you are, then you don't trust me. And if someone doesn't trust me when I've done nothing to warrant it, then that is something that I don't want to be around. It is a weird self-destructive cycle, but that is the one big step people with low self-esteem have to start taking. People can't love you if you don't love yourself, they can't accept you if you can't accept yourself. There can't be love without trust.

[UniqueDude]

I would say BearsAnswers deserves the MH. I second him, I am actually attracted to "broken girls" because I enjoy making suffering people feel better. But yea if I keep telling a girl I like her or she's pretty, and she keeps saying she thinks she's ugly then it does make me feel like she doesn't trust me and that would make me want to break up.

But as long as there is an attraction on the outside, I would rather have a girl with low self-confidence than a girl who thinks that the top 1% of the men in the world are the only ones good enough for her.

[Anonymous]

It depends on how that confidence issue manifests. If a woman accuses me of cheating all the time it is a deal breaker. If it causes her to work harder at maintaining a strong relationship then it will actually be a positive.

[Asker]

I rarely think the guy is cheating, but I do often wonder why he's with me, or if he thinks I'm ugly

[Opinion Owner]

If it makes you super clingy and seeking constant validation from him it could be a problem, unless you find a guy with the same issues.

[RamenChef]

Every girls insecure and its kinda annoying at first but it actually becomes something cute in the end.