My girlfriend isn't verbally affectionate. Does she love me?

[Anonymous]

She knows I'd love it if she can be a little more verbally affectionate. I've asked her many times if she can express her love verbally more frequently but she still wouldn't do that for me. I never hear an 'I miss you' or 'I love you'. I'm so disappointed so I've given up.

Why can't she do such a simple little thing that can make me feel loved? I love her with my whole heart but it hurts me to see that she can't even do something simple like that to make me feel loved.

[Anonymous]

Speaking as a girl who is in a relationship and isn't good at talking about my feelings it's not (at least in my case) that I don't love him, because I really do. I just rather show him in other ways since I'm better at that and it comes more natural to me. I've surprised him on important events, I support his dreams and always show up when he perform, I've given him a key to my apartment, buy sexy lingerie and wear them on random occasions, I make him breakfast in bed and if he over sleep (which is always) I make him sandwiches so he'll get to work on time and won't go hungry- to name a few.

I do try to talk about my feelings, positive and negative, and I'm better at it now but it's still really hard for me to express myself and say what I want or don't want. When he has disappointed me in the past and I try to express my feelings he's laughed it off or become silly (not out of spite but because he doesn't want me to feel sad) and that has made it so much harder for me to express my feelings, good or bad ones. Because, even though I know he doesn't mean it like that, it feels like he's belittling my feelings and I feel silly for even having them. He is aware of this and is trying to improve and it's taking its time, just as it is for me.

He's told me in the past that I sometimes seem cold but I'm actually very sensitive. I'm so sensitive that I'm actually sensitive ABOUT my feelings and that's why it's hard to express them.

Does she show you, in any form or way, that she loves you? What do you do when she actually expresses her feelings, good or bad? Do you laugh, brush it off, tell her she's cute or interrupt her with a playful hug (when she's expressing her negative feelings)? Anything that makes her feel like you aren't interested in hearing it or like you aren't taking her seriously?

I'm sorry you aren't feeling loved, there's nothing worse in a relationship than feeling alone and unappreciated.

[Asker]

First of all, I want to thank you for taking your time to answer my question. I really appreciate your effort to help me.

Now that you mention it, I think she's more physically affectionate towards me. And she also shows that she cares for me in other ways like how you do for your boyfriend. I think it's not entirely her fault I feel unloved at times. I'm a very affectionate person with a really sensitive heart so I really just wish that she can express her love more frequently in verbal form so I can hear it. I feel sad because even though we've been together for nearly a year, I've never ever heard an 'I love you' or 'I miss you' for once. She also doesn't call me babe or anything intimate like that.

When she expresses her feelings, I always take her words seriously. I even begged her to be more verbally affectionate because I feel like she's cold sometimes.

[Asker]

I truly do not know what to do. I think I'm too sensitive with my feelings. It sounds silly but I really wish I can hear something sweet coming from her. It just makes me feel bad when I say something sweet to her and she never says it back.

[Asker]

At the beginning of our relationship, she had called me babe or sweetheart for a few times. After that she never does it anymore. But she still likes me to call her something sweet though. I just don't get it. Maybe she doesn't love me enough.

[Asker]

I feel so stressed thinking about this everyday. Sometimes I even feel like breaking up with her but I know that's stupid and I love her. I know I should not expect anything from her but I just hope she understand my feelings :(

[Anonymous]

Aww, well the obvious reasons would be #1. If she doesn't and the #2 reasons would be her assuming you know she does. But you are right its not to much to ask. But I don't think a relationship is worth giving up on just because of the words are not there right now. . Truth is I'd rather be shown just how much I'm missed needed, and loved. But I get it tho. It is nice to hear. .

[wellLoved]

Two things come to my mind here.

#1- She's not sure how she feels and doesn't want to say things to lead your on.

#2- She's not comfortable with verbal affection.

Take a look at her actions. Does she do things that show she cares?