Girlfriend isn't very affectionate/needy? Help?

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a couple of months. But she hasn't ever really been affectionate/ needy, and I'm really getting tired of trying with her. It pretty much drains all of my energy! It wouldn't kill her to at least invite me to do things or something to show that she's interested. She will still make out with me and everything, it's just that she won't take initiative on ANYTHING. And I've kind of prodded a little bit at this, and she said that it's hard for her to be needy because the last time she was with someone, he broke up with her and she was devastated. But if she really liked me, wouldn't she easily be able to be needy, and easily show affection, and try to do more things?


Most Helpful Girl

  • She must've found her sense of independence after being burned by her previous boyfriend. Sadly, I can relate to her. I'm with a guy right now, and I'm not very needy and find it hard to be affectionate. I feel like I'm this way because I'm afraid. I'm afraid to let my guard down and give my all to someone. I feel like you just have to give her time and let her find trust within you. Sometimes it's hard for people to let down their walls that they ever so carefully built up.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Hi guy

    I am in a similar situation with a guy I have been recently dating. It was really cooking my head that we werent doing what conventionally couples generally do like cuddling, holding hands etc. I just asked him straight out and as it turned out he was really shy and since we had that conversation things couldnt be better. Prob a bit deeper into her reason for not being affectionate with you

    Just ask her straight out i would. I could be a make or break moment in your relationship as the answer might not be what you want to here however at least you will know and if she isn't into you that opens you up to meeting a girl that does dig you

    Hope this helps


What Guys Said 2

  • It's just hard for her to trust people, give it time, i'm sure she'll eventually start being more intimate with you (in a general sense). If it doesn't improve after a while, you need to have a talk with her. She might dig you, just take the time and see, there's no need to rush it. If she really likes you, it will start to show. If not, perhaps you're better off seeing somebody else.

  • The past can have a HUGE impact on the future. Its like it has leave a scar in her heart..

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