Trouble finding a girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

What is it that girls are looking for in a boyfriend? I seem to have the most trouble finding a girlfriend out of all my friends. Most of them are either living in their parents basements or crappy apartments and they sit around playing xbox and eating chips all day after work, acting vulgar etc... which annoys the hell out of their girlfriends apparently, but they are always with them still. I on the other hand hold a very respectable professional job, own my own house... I like to think I'm a pretty nice guy and treat women well, yet all my caveman friends seem to be the ones that attract the women. When you girls get annoyed like crazy at your boyfriends bad habits/laziness/lack of motivation etc... why do you stay with them? I am by no means perfect of course, but I do kind of feel I have my act together more so compared to some of my immature friends, yet I can't find a nice girl.

[Middleman]

Believe it or not my friend, but you not finding a nice girl has nothing to do with your personality, but totally everything to do with your current mindset.

Let me explain. You may have read books like 'The Secret' and they talk about that everything in life, is all about attraction. What they say here (that like attracts like) is totally true. But what they also haven't told you is that what you think and what you feel (on a daily basis from a mental perspective) is very important, because it totally creates the reality you will live in the following day. Scientists have now discovered that our body's cells receive and transmit information, and that likewise with our thoughts do we attract the relevant people into our live. Depending on how positive or negative you had been during the week, you totally attract and 'create' that reality in your head and heart, which then projects outwards into your life. This is because you are a co-creator life, and that whatever you think and feel every moment, attracts and creates that reality for you.

Think about this statement...it sounds far-fetched but it is very important. For example, think about people who are famous or successful in our world. Why are they so successful? They are so because their minds are focused only on achieving success and nothing else. This is because nothing negative enters their frame of mind.

If you go back to childhood, do you remember the times when you said you wanted to be this person with this career, and as you grew older, you finally saw it being completed? Why did this occur you say? Well the simple answer is because...from each moment to moment, we have been co-creating our own reality. Ever since as a child, we have been projecting our inner thoughts about ourselves outwards, to create the life we want to live. For this, is what dreams are made of.

You see our thoughts are very important for they form the very basis of how we live our life. The things we think of today forms the basis of our future tomorrow. If we think of inadequacy, inadequacy appears in our life. If we think of happiness, happiness appears in your life. The same goes for money, joy, girls...as is everything else in life. Because the quality of our thoughts directly impacts the quality of our life...

The problem with the world is that as we've gotten older we've forgotten these very simple ideas and ways of living about life and manifestation, which only appears with the happiest and sincerest of hearts (like that of a child). We have been taught to create a better life is about our jobs; our status; our careers; money issues; looks etc. when in fact it is none of these but about our state of happiness and well-being. The more happier and carefree we are as a being and spirit, the easier it is for the universe to grant us our wish. This is because the universe prefers happy people. The happier you are, the more it will try to give joyful things to you.

[Cruzier]

I am on the same island. I am a nice guy, I have my car, I have the funds and offer my help to anyone that needs it. I think girls that meet those really really nice guys tend to keep them as friends or good friends. They put them in that friends zones because they don't ever want to lose you. It would be a break to their heart if they took that chance and it failed and the relationship you have with her is destroyed now. I had some really good friends that were girls and I took the chance even though I knew I was in the friend zone and my chances of getting out were none, not even a slim chance.

I took that chance and they all really didn't feel comfortable with me, mostly because they felt I would attempt to make a move on them and that being around me wasn't the same. So, I kinda hurt the relationship. I have a middle school friend I took that chance on and she told me straight up, "I don't know, I really liked us as just friends, but now it just feels weird being around you, I just need my space, I am sorry." That broke me down more than anything. I am sure that it could be the same in a girls position/ point of view too. I recently started talking to her again and I am being careful. I really did like her and still but I know that I am content with being friends. Its just something I have to deal with.

No one likes losing a good friend.

[lovethislassy]

You need to maybe look at the quality of women that are dating your friends. So do they party all the time..are they younger..in school..not settled in there own lives perhaps so they are perhaps not looking for that mr. right yet. Perhaps there not sure what they are looking for yet. Your young to have your act so together ...so your age group is mosty still figuring it all out males and females..Sure some will be like you and have it together but most wont. SO where does that leave you..you can go on date after date to find another person your own age that is like you OR date some one a lilttle older than yourself. Just suggestions. Change where you hang out maybe the types of places you go and the types of things you do..that might allow you to interact with people more your own speed..ya know? Again just a suggestion.

[cad80330]

where are you looking for these nice girls? if you're going to bars to find them you may not find the type of girl you're looking for. Just start paying attention day to day, like you could see a really pretty girl when you're out buying groceries, as long as there is no ring on her finger you can approach her too.

In any case girls want a guy they can feel comfortable with who won't judge them or make them feel like they need to be someone else or act diferently around you. Most importantly there has to be that chemistry where you guys can have fun and make fun of each other. When you think about your friends girlfriends and I mean really thought about it are those the types of girls personality wise you would even want to go out with?

[Brando]

Agreed with this answer. Not only do you have to look for a girl that suites you, but you also have to think if you fit into the environment that these girls are in. If you aren't a party animal and you're bar hopping, then you'll seem out of your element. Other than that, they may either be intimidated by you and your success, or the ones you are meeting are as confused as teenage girls.

[lisa_username]

women with dominant personalities pick weaker men and vice versa. I'm the dominant one and my boyfriend is a "good boy" he always dates girls like me and I always date guys like him (at least if I'm looking for a serious relationship). two nice people don't tend to work because there is no one to take charge and two mean people can't date each other because they will fight all the time. In all honesty if you find a good girl you will probably get bored of her after a while. you will probably end up with a more dominant woman eventually but hopefully her behavior will lean toward the middle.

[Anonymous]

you need a mature woman and not a party chick college girl. In college you will find generally/usually only 2 types of people...the nice people who will work hard study and have high ambitions, and then the party people who will be into flirting hookups social life having fun and ego boost. You need to find the nice smart girl also on the same boat as you. I have the same problem as you, I can never find a boyfriend because I'm the nice classy good girl, and all the guys I meet are badass and just like flirting with me and then go pick up other sluts on their ugly pimp cars. I have yet to meet a mature, down to earth respectful man.

I like hanging out at bookstores, the city, museums, cafes, starbucks, library, parks, nice restaurants...thats where you're going to find an independent smart woman..so may be you should start exploring these places...

[Asker]

Haha, you've basically described exactly what I've been feeling/noticing and pretty much the places I would look as well as the type of girl. I find at my age a lot of those girls tend to be taken and it's the party girls that are left hanging around looking for a good man now that they've wasted a lot of their time on maybe not the best guys.

[Reeses-pieces777]

Sometimes you have to date outside of your circle of friends to get a good girl. I know a guy friend who's been struggling to find a good decent girlfriend himself because he comes across so shy and stuff like that. just keep looking and things will be better. good luck :)

[confuzeld]

Im not sure... I can tell you I would NOT be with any guy who lives in their parents basement but girls love that MANLY factor, not that living with your parents gives out that vibe... the things that annoy us that are so part of the opposite sex are also the things that in the end we fall for. "Cavemen" characteristics can sometimes be endearing? Get me at all? Suprise us, girls love suprises in men. Get out of your borring rutine. Change! Be a little irresponsible like your friends. anywayss...youll find her. Just relax, have fun with the search.

[frustratedchump06]

Man you girls sure are more picky than us guys are

[Professor_Zoom]

Well maybe your problem is that you are too nice. Do you often get stuck in the friend zone with women?

[Asker]

Probably. I'm still very nice to women but I've made a point of trying not to drop everything for them anymore as well and just go about my business instead of attempting to accomodate them too much. I have trouble not being nice though, I don't really see any reason to be mean to people unless they really deserve it :)

[Professor_Zoom]

Well that's a good approach. I'm also nice, and I like being nice. It's just who I am. But I'm not a pushover and I do have an asshole streak that comes out when pushed. Another thing, just for the hell of it, try meeting and dating a older woman. It could be that the women you like just aren't ready for a guy like you. Once a woman is all partied out and done dealing with the jerks, they'll want a guy who's more like you.

[Lilac_puppet]

Girls are looking for guys that are funny, active, nice and that care about them and what they have to say. Yes, I know guys are like that and it does bug us but normally the reason we stay with them because either we have been with them for a while or we find that they are so special and meaningful to us that we don't want to lose them. (Hope this helps) :D

[mmike0]

Why do girls expect guys to be comics? I hate that I'm funny somtime but by no means am I a comic

[stevo]

You sound just like me. I'm in the same department, and have been since, day one. But oh well. Life goes on. Just keep your head up, man.

[SmoothBlue17]

Same here, I am in the same boat as well :(

[Gregs]

Your friends sound like cool guys so you should take advice from them on how to pick up girls and maybe give them some advice on how to make money

[Anonymous]

I feel you, seriously, it's way easier for a girl to get a boyfriend than it is for a guy to get a girlfriend.

[flyboy_o3]

Good girls love bad boys, but their relationships never last..