Being nice isn't bad. Being overly nice is bad. Just be nice in situations where it is needed. And with nice I mean helpful. For example when the girl needs help with carrying heavy stuff or fixing things. You are doing to much. Stop getting her so many gifts and stop asking them all the time if they are alright. You are not their caretaker. If you do too much girls will lose the attraction. Just help them with stuff where you can show how manly you are. Leave the talking about feelings and how they are to your girlfriend and her female friends.
Or you can just fuck around with her emotions then later tell her it's a joke and laugh in her face. That girl is a whore if she's only for the gifts selling her pussy then sorry dude that's a prostitute lmao tell her if she wants gifts to buy her own and to get a job in the conner she's good at fucking then to sell her pussy in exchange for gifts lol.
Are you fixating, if so, all you have to do is pull back. Seriously, pull back. Not all the way, just enough to be reasonably unavailible. Think about the flip side. What happens if a female lets you smash the first night? After you nut you typically lose a great deal of interest right. Same with your love towards her, she has it, therefore she loses interest. Your coming off like you need her, that permeates weakness, and can lower testosterone. You have to reward her with love, not just give it. You already had sex with her, stop doing all that shit, and make her work for that love. It's not being an asshole, it's called reasonable selfishnes. Lol.
Be shamelessly honest about what you want, think and feel. Let go of any fear of disagreeing with women. If you can let go of that and just be yourself you will naturally be less of a stereotypical nice guy. Because if you think she's hot, you'll say so. If you disagree with something she says, you'll let her know. When someone asks what you think, they will know that you're not putting on a front and have the spine to stick by what you believe and say. You don't want to be a nice guy. You want to be a good guy.
There are several reasons why this can be a problem: 1) She does not feel like she is special, you do this for most girls, therefore she is just another girl to you. 2) Extreme, instant niceness can be taken as a way to deliberately date a girl. 3) She does not want to seem like a burden, having a guy take on a lot makes us feel... bad. Remember, be natural. Do not ALWAYS go for the soft topics, it is really cool when a guy has a PLAN. Movies, for example, it is not cute when a guy goes "Whichever you want to see", I know for a fact that I like to see a guy's excitement when he shares something with me that he really likes.
As in many other aspects of life, the key here is to find balance.
You don't want to be a jerk. Women appreciate courtesy and attention as much as anyone else and if they're into you, being nice will definitely score you extra points. On the other hand, if they're not attracted to you for some reason, obviously no amount of pandering will change that.
The secret is to find a balance between being nice to them and not coming across needy, which is a huge turn off for everyone, men and women. I'd risk saying men tolerate neediness a bit more than women because they perceive it, even if unconsciously, as a sign of weakness.
Sweety, there's no such thing as, "too nice." Those girls, rejected you because they probably didn't feel like they deserved you. You're doing the right thing, and the right girl will love you for the rest of your life in due time. If you still think you're too nice, just be a little assertive sometimes. Like, once you've dated a girl for a while ask her to do something specific with you. Take interest in her, but have your own life. What I mean by that, is supply some information about yourself, and talk about yourself sometimes. It's all about being balanced. Love her with all your heart, but let her live you back, and do sweet things for you too. If she can't take how awesome you are, that's her problem, and she doesn't deserve you.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I friend zone guys who are too nice all the time... i can't force attraction even though i want to because i know they'd never hurt me... they just come across as if they wouldn't satisfy me sexually or turn me on... there's no chemistry but they're great to talk to about feelings though. Dry sarcastic humour and not being too needy, let her come to you... even if you have to wait two days for a reply... DO NOT send her a second... she will reply and will be more interested if you do not hound her.
I've waited months for replies before. No girls ever do, because they're female, and females can never be needy because they get to take their pick. Are you saying that I should become the kind of guy who'd think nothing of hurting you, the kind of guy who'd smack you up and smash your face in if you speak out of turn? Is that what it would take to satisfy you sexually and to turn you on- taking away every bit of freedom that you have and battering you into being cowed, submissive sex slaves?
This girl knows what she's talking about. Listen to her. There is an Asian girl I worked with and to this day her friends are always telling me "Iris said this about you" or "Iris said you will be doing this for her" etc. She sends me a lot of good luck messages among other pleasantries. The funniest thing is that she does not hang out with white people, only Asians. And yet here she is... It's rather obvious that she has feelings for me.
Want to know why this is happening? I used to bully her all the time. I coupled occasionally being nice to her with flat out giving her a hard time. She never knew what to expect of me and as such was always on her toes. This sort of semi-sexual suspense builds feelings in women.
The days of winning over hearts with flowers and chocolates is over my friend.
If my boyfriend was like that I'd be really grateful. Nice guys are rare these days. It's great to be nice, but don't over-please her (which I don't think you are from the description above), and just be who you are. If the girl can't appreciate you for the nice, caring, genuine person you are, you're not meant to be.
Nice guys ARE rare almost too good to be true. But let's face it when everyone meets someone they ALWAYS put their best impressions first. This only begs the question "What is this person like at their worst". I've gone into interview were I was required to tell the worst about myself. This was for a very important job. The reason they ask to find out your worst up front is because they don't want any surprises down the road. Probably if you are super nice then ask yourself this. Why are you super nice. Are you like this all the time? Are you like this with everyone INCLUDING guys? Are do you pick in choose who you want to be nice too. If the answer is the latter then THAT is why nice guys never get picked.
Hey man, don't go to the dark side and stop being nice. We already have too many a-holes. We don't need one more. You just gotta wait until a girl gets some common sense and opens her eyes to see that you're a good guy. Focus on yourself and making you happy. Then maybe something will turn up in the future. If not, then at least you're happy by yourself. Outside of going out to eat by myself, I'm completely loving this approach. You get to do the fun things you like when you want and with minimal to no compromise.
@Touglyforfemales If you're not good looking, then why don't you take the steps to become good looking?
I've seen your questions before and like I've always said, you need to sort yourself out from within, only then will others care or take notice of you. You're very negative and bitter, and it's because you think you're ugly, well then... why don't you try to make yourself desirable then? I don't want to be rude either, but I'm being honest, just lose the weight, it's hard, but do it. Although physical attraction isn't everything, but it matters, because first of all people judge you on how you look, it's harsh but that's just how it is... and now like you've said before, you're going to say you're still ugly, well guess what? Some people (men and woman equally) prefer a sexy body over a sexy face. So there you have it. And pleaseeeeeee stop being so damn negative will you!
Jesus Christ this touglyforfemales dude is a attention seeking troll stop feeding him. I see him on every one of my posts and other ones saying how ugly he is and how only good looking dudes get girls. maybe if you weren't so negative and pessimistic girls would like you
@Touglyforfemales cuz it's fucking true. I used to think exactly like that, except I decided to do something about it instead if freaking whine AND WHINE AND WINE,
@ToruMatsuda @Touglyforfemales Loool! Though seriously dude; desperation, bitterness, pessimistic are behaviours that show from miles away. You need to get off the internet and do something about why you are so unhappy.
@Touglyforfemales And how did I make fun of you? And the label you have given me of "supposedly caring" is wrong - I just said my honest opinion, without sugarcoating it... and my opinion to you has been consistent too - so you saying you don't take it seriously is just your negativities playing up again. Also, you don't have to take me seriously, the advice is there for you to take or not, it's all in your hands how you go about with things, I'm only saying my opinion.
@ToruMatsuda Like your not? First off her and I were talking as in us not you and us. Second what was said was between me and her not you and I. Third I doubt your anything great. I've seen and dealt with guys like you both on and off online so try again.
@Touglyforfemales Saying you're bitter, desperate is not making fun of you. It's the truth, in my opinion you do come off as bitter and desperate.
Making fun of you would be me taunting you and saying you're terrible, laughing at you etc
There's a difference between that and what I said, get it right...
Also not everything is about girls, or impressing them to look good, @ToruMatsuda wasn't showing off to me, and if that is your opinion of how one "shows off" then it's not a very good approach, you may need to work on it...
Also can I add that @ToruMatsuda hasn't directed any of his comments to me here, it's between the two of you, so how do you reason anything you say?
You are nice. And that's great. Dont be a jerk just coz some girls may want a jerk. but since every time you go through the same thing then maybe its the type of girls you go to is the problem?
well , lets face it @DaniaMQ being nice won`t help him out there. 90% he will get hurt at the end. coz being nice means he is caring and when u care you give them sharp knife. you of all the people should know better.
@YOussefElAdl lol I just saw your comment XD anyways, being nice is being caring yes, but that doesn't mean being stupid. You can be nice and wise at the same time. By being nice you can also be careful and know who you should be nice to. The girls he was nice too obviously were girls who he shouldn't have been nice to, and that's why he got hurt. If you be nice with the people who deserve it and who you should be nice to then you won't get hurt at the end 😊
The type of girls I go to are simply those girls who I find to be relatively sexually attractive, between the ages of 18 and 30, who tend to be of a slender build as opposed to being obese. If that's problematic, then the problem isn't mine, it's a popular societal issue.
Well maybe that's it, maybe those girls are cocky OR maybe you should start looking at the personality more than her sexual appearance. You can look at that once u like her personality coz looks will fade. The reason I'm saying this is because they aren't refusing you coz you are nice. Us as girls like nice guys. Expect for the b****es who would like someone like them. So that's why I'm saying focus on the personality.
I do look at their personality more than their sexual appearance. But if I'm not sexually attracted to them, or vice versa, then it's never going to advance beyond a platonic friendship. Which is why I have so many platonic female friends and still haven't had a girlfriend. Girls like nice guys- as friends. But they don't find being nice a sexy trait. Focusing on their personalities requires getting to know girls personally first and foremost- which leads to me repeatedly getting friend-zoned by the majority of them, because by being thoughtful, appreciative, reliable, understanding and considerate, and becoming viewed by them as a close friend and confidante, I'm no longer viewed by them as being sexually attractive or desirable. it's like all of these girls emasculate me, and treat me like a 'designated gay friend' who just happens to be straight, simply because I'm willing to accept being 'just friends' with girls who reject my sexual advances if they have nice personalities.
Lol when a guy has a personality like yours thats when I fall for them. So I dont really know what's going on XD BUT, how do YOU think that if u don't be that nice guy anymore then they will view u as more than a friend?
I think that, if I weren't that "nice guy" any more, they'd view me as something other than a friend. Because for some unfathomable reason, it seems as though, to be considered boyfriend material by a girl, a guy can't be friendly- he has to be aloof, distant, mysterious and unavailable. It's not 'more than friends'; a boyfriend seems to be something completely different to a male friend in the eyes of girls, and the cognitive dissonance means that most girls simply can't accept that friends can also be boyfriends or that boyfriends can also be friends, until they're in their mid-30's and looking for 'a good man to settle down with'. Emphasis on the word 'settle'. I want just one girl one of these days to acknowledge that I AM 'sexy', instead of making out that I'm 'nice' INSTEAD. Just because I'm not sexually objectifying them or trying to connive my way into their pants doesn't mean that I'm not a sexual being too, and it doesn't make me any less of a man.
Hm, I get what u mean. I can tell you that there's lots of girls out there that aren't like that. Like, they want a "nice guy". What you can do is (as well as maintaining being nice) to maybe be more "unavailable", what I mean by this is let the girl chase you. First you can do the eye contact thing for a while. If the girl finds herself interested in you then she will do the eye contact thing back. Then when u feel like she's really interested then you can start offering to help her when she needs something. As for when u get her number (the girl you will like next) then don't keep texting everyday. BUT thats only at the beginning, like if she tells u she likes you more than just a friend then there's no need to not text everyday. Also... at the beginning DO NOT talk about ANYTHING sexual (if u talk about those things through text). I prefer not to talk about them at all but if u dont think the same then at the beginning when its all fresh dont talk about it. That will drive her away,
I feel that your the type of a guy a girl really wants but for reason some of us girls not all would for some reason push the nice guy aside for a jerk. I don't think there's any need for you stop being nice, the perfect lady will show up, don't put a time frame in it and it will happen.
To be honest people stereotype too much and expect a certain persona to be portrayed by males that goes for what men expect of women to behave like too.
Always be yourself not someone else we have too many sheeps in this world we need to embrace who you are!
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Don't put up with girls who aren't very interested in you and act like they're doing you a favor by dating you. If she isn't very enthusiastic, don't keep trying to bowl her over with "niceness" ...
Walk away from her and find a girl who IS enthusiastic.
"Too nice" is an overused cliche. It's practically meaningless and quite possibly hints at her own issues, not yours.
Well, I actually adore guys who are as nice as yourself since I'm a "too nice" girl myself.. probably even in an exaggerated way.. Some girls like it when guys are a little rude with them... for some reason. Or they might think you're annoyingly nice or boring. Now, don't stop being yourself cause not all girls get annoyed by that... some actually do like it when a guys is too nice with them, you'll see..
Wow number of girls that say dont change and they they would treat you like gold is crazy and same thous girls win same situation would do same thing others did but they sell that bullshit... Can give you advice am same as you... There are some books adresing this like www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339 but i read it and didn't help me much, maybe it can help you who knows... Its ether like orphanedmind said "Girls are selfish and emotional by nature, and they don't understand men who are not that way." or they think they are fucked up too much to be with someone nice, but not in they way that they dont deserve you more like you deserve better than what they have to offer...
You don't have to become a jerk, you have to quit acting like a girl. Girls hate that - they want a MAN! Be decisive, take the lead, don't be afraid to be truly masculine. Somehow, the FI has convinced men to be soft and emotional like they are, but that's not really what they want. Remember, watch what they do, not what they say.
Being nice is not the problem. If I had to guess, I'd would say something about your behavior is turning people off. Maybe you come off as too eager to please, or maybe you have low self-esteem? Don't think you should turn into an asshole/player. Those guys also get dumped quickly.
You try being rejected by every girl you've ever had a romantic interest in, being on a losing streak of more than two thousand in a row without a single success, and retaining your self-esteem. Those guys may get dumped quickly, but at least they got something. Isn't it better to have been loved and lost than to have never been loved at all?
it's somewhere in the middle. I'm a total sweetheart WHEN i want to be. But I'm also a cold SOB when they ASK me to be lol. The key is to have a solid self, and not lose that because of a girl. Become YOU, not a nice guy. If you have a you, then that means it's not all about them and they find you interesting. They will also CONTINUE to find you interesting. If you are too easy, too giving, etc... all they see is a puppy following them around. This doesn't mean you can't be nice, it just means you retain yourself and they want to be nice back. It's hard to explain - but it is about retaining (or finding) you mixed with being nice, vs. simply engulfing their lives with niceness, which will bore them to tears.
What! I think that's the kinda guy I would like. As long as he's not giving off pushover vibes then it's fine. But I don't see what you did as a fault at all, that just shows you care and it's the right amount too.
I don't see how a girl would use that to justify rejecting you but hey everyone is different.
Do not stop being a nice guy! :) I have no idea why the girls you like think you are "too nice", but I would be heavenly greatful for a guy like you. It is more that they need to grow up and accept that the main man should not be an asshole with his caps frontback. (Is frontback a word?) Anyways, don't change :) Hugs
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
134Opinion
Being nice isn't bad. Being overly nice is bad. Just be nice in situations where it is needed. And with nice I mean helpful. For example when the girl needs help with carrying heavy stuff or fixing things. You are doing to much. Stop getting her so many gifts and stop asking them all the time if they are alright. You are not their caretaker. If you do too much girls will lose the attraction. Just help them with stuff where you can show how manly you are. Leave the talking about feelings and how they are to your girlfriend and her female friends.
Or you can just fuck around with her emotions then later tell her it's a joke and laugh in her face. That girl is a whore if she's only for the gifts selling her pussy then sorry dude that's a prostitute lmao tell her if she wants gifts to buy her own and to get a job in the conner she's good at fucking then to sell her pussy in exchange for gifts lol.
Are you fixating, if so, all you have to do is pull back. Seriously, pull back. Not all the way, just enough to be reasonably unavailible. Think about the flip side. What happens if a female lets you smash the first night? After you nut you typically lose a great deal of interest right. Same with your love towards her, she has it, therefore she loses interest. Your coming off like you need her, that permeates weakness, and can lower testosterone. You have to reward her with love, not just give it. You already had sex with her, stop doing all that shit, and make her work for that love. It's not being an asshole, it's called reasonable selfishnes. Lol.
Be shamelessly honest about what you want, think and feel. Let go of any fear of disagreeing with women. If you can let go of that and just be yourself you will naturally be less of a stereotypical nice guy. Because if you think she's hot, you'll say so. If you disagree with something she says, you'll let her know. When someone asks what you think, they will know that you're not putting on a front and have the spine to stick by what you believe and say. You don't want to be a nice guy. You want to be a good guy.
There are several reasons why this can be a problem:
1) She does not feel like she is special, you do this for most girls, therefore she is just another girl to you.
2) Extreme, instant niceness can be taken as a way to deliberately date a girl.
3) She does not want to seem like a burden, having a guy take on a lot makes us feel... bad.
Remember, be natural. Do not ALWAYS go for the soft topics, it is really cool when a guy has a PLAN.
Movies, for example, it is not cute when a guy goes "Whichever you want to see", I know for a fact that I like to see a guy's excitement when he shares something with me that he really likes.
As in many other aspects of life, the key here is to find balance.
You don't want to be a jerk. Women appreciate courtesy and attention as much as anyone else and if they're into you, being nice will definitely score you extra points. On the other hand, if they're not attracted to you for some reason, obviously no amount of pandering will change that.
The secret is to find a balance between being nice to them and not coming across needy, which is a huge turn off for everyone, men and women. I'd risk saying men tolerate neediness a bit more than women because they perceive it, even if unconsciously, as a sign of weakness.
Good luck, man. ;)
Sweety, there's no such thing as, "too nice." Those girls, rejected you because they probably didn't feel like they deserved you. You're doing the right thing, and the right girl will love you for the rest of your life in due time. If you still think you're too nice, just be a little assertive sometimes. Like, once you've dated a girl for a while ask her to do something specific with you. Take interest in her, but have your own life. What I mean by that, is supply some information about yourself, and talk about yourself sometimes. It's all about being balanced. Love her with all your heart, but let her live you back, and do sweet things for you too. If she can't take how awesome you are, that's her problem, and she doesn't deserve you.
I friend zone guys who are too nice all the time... i can't force attraction even though i want to because i know they'd never hurt me... they just come across as if they wouldn't satisfy me sexually or turn me on... there's no chemistry but they're great to talk to about feelings though. Dry sarcastic humour and not being too needy, let her come to you... even if you have to wait two days for a reply... DO NOT send her a second... she will reply and will be more interested if you do not hound her.
I've waited months for replies before. No girls ever do, because they're female, and females can never be needy because they get to take their pick. Are you saying that I should become the kind of guy who'd think nothing of hurting you, the kind of guy who'd smack you up and smash your face in if you speak out of turn? Is that what it would take to satisfy you sexually and to turn you on- taking away every bit of freedom that you have and battering you into being cowed, submissive sex slaves?
This girl knows what she's talking about. Listen to her. There is an Asian girl I worked with and to this day her friends are always telling me "Iris said this about you" or "Iris said you will be doing this for her" etc. She sends me a lot of good luck messages among other pleasantries. The funniest thing is that she does not hang out with white people, only Asians. And yet here she is... It's rather obvious that she has feelings for me.
Want to know why this is happening? I used to bully her all the time. I coupled occasionally being nice to her with flat out giving her a hard time. She never knew what to expect of me and as such was always on her toes. This sort of semi-sexual suspense builds feelings in women.
The days of winning over hearts with flowers and chocolates is over my friend.
how come they come across as if they would not satisfy you? you dont give them a chance.
thanks, that makes me stop regretting all the "oh so brokenhearted girls" who i actually didn't want myself.. i hate those whiny b*tches
If my boyfriend was like that I'd be really grateful. Nice guys are rare these days. It's great to be nice, but don't over-please her (which I don't think you are from the description above), and just be who you are. If the girl can't appreciate you for the nice, caring, genuine person you are, you're not meant to be.
Nice guys ARE rare almost too good to be true. But let's face it when everyone meets someone they ALWAYS put their best impressions first. This only begs the question "What is this person like at their worst". I've gone into interview were I was required to tell the worst about myself. This was for a very important job. The reason they ask to find out your worst up front is because they don't want any surprises down the road. Probably if you are super nice then ask yourself this. Why are you super nice. Are you like this all the time? Are you like this with everyone INCLUDING guys? Are do you pick in choose who you want to be nice too. If the answer is the latter then THAT is why nice guys never get picked.
Or* note Are on the last question.
And in a nut shell if that paragraph does not make sense then it boils down to this, you are trying too hard.
Hey man, don't go to the dark side and stop being nice. We already have too many a-holes. We don't need one more. You just gotta wait until a girl gets some common sense and opens her eyes to see that you're a good guy. Focus on yourself and making you happy. Then maybe something will turn up in the future. If not, then at least you're happy by yourself. Outside of going out to eat by myself, I'm completely loving this approach. You get to do the fun things you like when you want and with minimal to no compromise.
Don't change yourself for anyone.
I think by saying you're "too nice" is a polite way of them saying they're not attracted to you.
"Too nice" is just an excuse they use.
It's what I do too when I want to let someone down easy, instead I say *excuses* - when the real reason is that I'm just not attracted to him.
Do you know what happens when people stay the same? Nothing.
You don't ever need to be mean to girls, just don't always do what they want you to do.
@Touglyforfemales Well if you're not happy with yourself, then yeah nothing comes out of it...
But if you happy with yourself, the way you are, that confidence shows on the outside, and it's attractive.
Confidence only works if your good looking.
@red324 Yeah, personality is one thing that I think should never be changed for anyone, unless ofc it's a shit one lol
@Touglyforfemales Then you do what it takes to believe and know you are good looking...
I'm not good looking or every well be why can't you woman get that.
@Touglyforfemales If you're not good looking, then why don't you take the steps to become good looking?
I've seen your questions before and like I've always said, you need to sort yourself out from within, only then will others care or take notice of you. You're very negative and bitter, and it's because you think you're ugly, well then... why don't you try to make yourself desirable then? I don't want to be rude either, but I'm being honest, just lose the weight, it's hard, but do it. Although physical attraction isn't everything, but it matters, because first of all people judge you on how you look, it's harsh but that's just how it is... and now like you've said before, you're going to say you're still ugly, well guess what? Some people (men and woman equally) prefer a sexy body over a sexy face. So there you have it. And pleaseeeeeee stop being so damn negative will you!
Jesus Christ this touglyforfemales dude is a attention seeking troll stop feeding him. I see him on every one of my posts and other ones saying how ugly he is and how only good looking dudes get girls. maybe if you weren't so negative and pessimistic girls would like you
Of course you and every other female has to use the I'm bitter excuse typical.
@Touglyforfemales cuz it's fucking true. I used to think exactly like that, except I decided to do something about it instead if freaking whine AND WHINE AND WINE,
@ToruMatsuda I didn't ask for your opinion thanks
@Touglyforfemales cool pretty sure no one else asked for yours either, stop leaving them here
@ToruMatsuda @Touglyforfemales Loool! Though seriously dude; desperation, bitterness, pessimistic are behaviours that show from miles away. You need to get off the internet and do something about why you are so unhappy.
@ToruMatsuda First off you put your nose in my business where it didn't belong. Now run away child.
@ Katerina Belle Its funny how you went from supposedly caring to making fun of me, See this is way I can't take you seriously.
@Touglyforfemales And how did I make fun of you?
And the label you have given me of "supposedly caring" is wrong - I just said my honest opinion, without sugarcoating it... and my opinion to you has been consistent too - so you saying you don't take it seriously is just your negativities playing up again.
Also, you don't have to take me seriously, the advice is there for you to take or not, it's all in your hands how you go about with things, I'm only saying my opinion.
Looolll this dude throws tantrums every time girls are brought up and im the child😂😂😂😂😂
Lets see calling me bitter, saying I'm desperate you know the typical crap girls say when they know the guy is right.
Lol at how he just pms me and blocks try harder bro this is y u don't get girls😂😂
@ToruMatsuda You couldn't learn to shut up so I told you the truth
I know what your trying to do, your acting all big and bad because you want to show off
to Katerina I've seen it before and it won't be the last time.
All I'm doing is saying how annoying you are,
@ToruMatsuda Like your not? First off her and I were talking as in us not you and us.
Second what was said was between me and her not you and I. Third I doubt your anything
great. I've seen and dealt with guys like you both on and off online so try again.
@Touglyforfemales Saying you're bitter, desperate is not making fun of you. It's the truth, in my opinion you do come off as bitter and desperate.
Making fun of you would be me taunting you and saying you're terrible, laughing at you etc
There's a difference between that and what I said, get it right...
Also not everything is about girls, or impressing them to look good, @ToruMatsuda wasn't showing off to me, and if that is your opinion of how one "shows off" then it's not a very good approach, you may need to work on it...
Also can I add that @ToruMatsuda hasn't directed any of his comments to me here, it's between the two of you, so how do you reason anything you say?
@Touglyforfemales Also you're not right.
And don't act like you know how girls how or what they are about etc you don't know a thing about them, thank you.
You are nice. And that's great. Dont be a jerk just coz some girls may want a jerk.
but since every time you go through the same thing then maybe its the type of girls you go to is the problem?
That's what I was thinking!
@DancingGirl glad its not just me haha
well , lets face it @DaniaMQ being nice won`t help him out there.
90% he will get hurt at the end.
coz being nice means he is caring and when u care you give them sharp knife.
you of all the people should know better.
@YOussefElAdl lol I just saw your comment XD
anyways, being nice is being caring yes, but that doesn't mean being stupid. You can be nice and wise at the same time. By being nice you can also be careful and know who you should be nice to. The girls he was nice too obviously were girls who he shouldn't have been nice to, and that's why he got hurt. If you be nice with the people who deserve it and who you should be nice to then you won't get hurt at the end 😊
The type of girls I go to are simply those girls who I find to be relatively sexually attractive, between the ages of 18 and 30, who tend to be of a slender build as opposed to being obese. If that's problematic, then the problem isn't mine, it's a popular societal issue.
Well maybe that's it, maybe those girls are cocky OR maybe you should start looking at the personality more than her sexual appearance. You can look at that once u like her personality coz looks will fade. The reason I'm saying this is because they aren't refusing you coz you are nice. Us as girls like nice guys. Expect for the b****es who would like someone like them. So that's why I'm saying focus on the personality.
I do look at their personality more than their sexual appearance. But if I'm not sexually attracted to them, or vice versa, then it's never going to advance beyond a platonic friendship. Which is why I have so many platonic female friends and still haven't had a girlfriend. Girls like nice guys- as friends. But they don't find being nice a sexy trait. Focusing on their personalities requires getting to know girls personally first and foremost- which leads to me repeatedly getting friend-zoned by the majority of them, because by being thoughtful, appreciative, reliable, understanding and considerate, and becoming viewed by them as a close friend and confidante, I'm no longer viewed by them as being sexually attractive or desirable. it's like all of these girls emasculate me, and treat me like a 'designated gay friend' who just happens to be straight, simply because I'm willing to accept being 'just friends' with girls who reject my sexual advances if they have nice personalities.
Lol when a guy has a personality like yours thats when I fall for them. So I dont really know what's going on XD BUT, how do YOU think that if u don't be that nice guy anymore then they will view u as more than a friend?
I think that, if I weren't that "nice guy" any more, they'd view me as something other than a friend. Because for some unfathomable reason, it seems as though, to be considered boyfriend material by a girl, a guy can't be friendly- he has to be aloof, distant, mysterious and unavailable. It's not 'more than friends'; a boyfriend seems to be something completely different to a male friend in the eyes of girls, and the cognitive dissonance means that most girls simply can't accept that friends can also be boyfriends or that boyfriends can also be friends, until they're in their mid-30's and looking for 'a good man to settle down with'. Emphasis on the word 'settle'. I want just one girl one of these days to acknowledge that I AM 'sexy', instead of making out that I'm 'nice' INSTEAD. Just because I'm not sexually objectifying them or trying to connive my way into their pants doesn't mean that I'm not a sexual being too, and it doesn't make me any less of a man.
Hm, I get what u mean. I can tell you that there's lots of girls out there that aren't like that. Like, they want a "nice guy". What you can do is (as well as maintaining being nice) to maybe be more "unavailable", what I mean by this is let the girl chase you. First you can do the eye contact thing for a while. If the girl finds herself interested in you then she will do the eye contact thing back. Then when u feel like she's really interested then you can start offering to help her when she needs something. As for when u get her number (the girl you will like next) then don't keep texting everyday. BUT thats only at the beginning, like if she tells u she likes you more than just a friend then there's no need to not text everyday. Also... at the beginning DO NOT talk about ANYTHING sexual (if u talk about those things through text). I prefer not to talk about them at all but if u dont think the same then at the beginning when its all fresh dont talk about it. That will drive her away,
yeah, some billion girls...
@scooogy sorry?
If only a few girls wanted jerks, then gobal population would be far less than reality
I feel that your the type of a guy a girl really wants but for reason some of us girls not all would for some reason push the nice guy aside for a jerk. I don't think there's any need for you stop being nice, the perfect lady will show up, don't put a time frame in it and it will happen.
To be honest people stereotype too much and expect a certain persona to be portrayed by males that goes for what men expect of women to behave like too.
Always be yourself not someone else we have too many sheeps in this world we need to embrace who you are!
Don't put up with girls who aren't very interested in you and act like they're doing you a favor by dating you. If she isn't very enthusiastic, don't keep trying to bowl her over with "niceness" ...
Walk away from her and find a girl who IS enthusiastic.
"Too nice" is an overused cliche. It's practically meaningless and quite possibly hints at her own issues, not yours.
Well, I actually adore guys who are as nice as yourself since I'm a "too nice" girl myself.. probably even in an exaggerated way..
Some girls like it when guys are a little rude with them... for some reason. Or they might think you're annoyingly nice or boring. Now, don't stop being yourself cause not all girls get annoyed by that... some actually do like it when a guys is too nice with them, you'll see..
Wow number of girls that say dont change and they they would treat you like gold is crazy and same thous girls win same situation would do same thing others did but they sell that bullshit...
Can give you advice am same as you... There are some books adresing this like www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339 but i read it and didn't help me much, maybe it can help you who knows...
Its ether like orphanedmind said "Girls are selfish and emotional by nature, and they don't understand men who are not that way." or they think they are fucked up too much to be with someone nice, but not in they way that they dont deserve you more like you deserve better than what they have to offer...
You don't have to become a jerk, you have to quit acting like a girl. Girls hate that - they want a MAN! Be decisive, take the lead, don't be afraid to be truly masculine.
Somehow, the FI has convinced men to be soft and emotional like they are, but that's not really what they want. Remember, watch what they do, not what they say.
You're another one that would benefit greatly by reading up here: www.therationalmale.com
Popular female meme...'show your feminine side more'. I DON'T HAVE A FEMININE SIDE! I'M ALL MAN!
Being nice is not the problem. If I had to guess, I'd would say something about your behavior is turning people off. Maybe you come off as too eager to please, or maybe you have low self-esteem?
Don't think you should turn into an asshole/player. Those guys also get dumped quickly.
You try being rejected by every girl you've ever had a romantic interest in, being on a losing streak of more than two thousand in a row without a single success, and retaining your self-esteem. Those guys may get dumped quickly, but at least they got something. Isn't it better to have been loved and lost than to have never been loved at all?
I hear ya man, im 30 years old and never had a girlfriend. The competition out there is tough man
it's somewhere in the middle. I'm a total sweetheart WHEN i want to be. But I'm also a cold SOB when they ASK me to be lol. The key is to have a solid self, and not lose that because of a girl. Become YOU, not a nice guy. If you have a you, then that means it's not all about them and they find you interesting. They will also CONTINUE to find you interesting. If you are too easy, too giving, etc... all they see is a puppy following them around. This doesn't mean you can't be nice, it just means you retain yourself and they want to be nice back. It's hard to explain - but it is about retaining (or finding) you mixed with being nice, vs. simply engulfing their lives with niceness, which will bore them to tears.
What! I think that's the kinda guy I would like. As long as he's not giving off pushover vibes then it's fine. But I don't see what you did as a fault at all, that just shows you care and it's the right amount too.
I don't see how a girl would use that to justify rejecting you but hey everyone is different.
Do not stop being a nice guy! :) I have no idea why the girls you like think you are "too nice", but I would be heavenly greatful for a guy like you.
It is more that they need to grow up and accept that the main man should not be an asshole with his caps frontback. (Is frontback a word?)
Anyways, don't change :) Hugs