Should I give up on shy girls?

[TangoLima]

When I was younger in high school I was quite ugly, but when I got older, say 18 years old, I got better looking, got fit, taller, etc, and all around became good looking. Don't wanna sound big headed in saying that though, I just go off of what people say about me. So naturally, becoming good looking late has kind of damaged my own confidence and I'm somewhat shy myself.

I think because of being good looking, girls in general act shy, nervous, and aloof around me. My whole life since I was 18 girls get shy around me (even if they're party girls and outgoing with every other guy), they sit and stare from afar, twirl their hair, fidget with their clothes, run off to the bathroom, apply lipstick in front of me, all this body language stuff. They sit and giggle with their friends about me, they try to position themselves close to me so I can approach them.

But when I do approach them, they literally give me the deer in headlights look and act shy, weird, they go red, they literally have a heart attack and speak all shy in a soft voice, fidgeting and twirling their hair. Should I just give up on these girls? Cause I find that I get better results if I approach party girls and what not but I prefer normal girls to this type. What can I do to fix this? Cause I like a shy girl but it seems to be getting nowhere cause I can't talk to her without her getting all weird/panic attack.

Updates

+1 y

I'm actually getting very tired of it cause literally every girl I have ever known acts like this around me. And I find it hard to find a way around it, none of my average friends have this problem and I see these girls talk to average guys without a problem at all. But when it comes to me they just seem to forget how to function like a normal girl lol.

[Anonymous]

Holy shit. I know exactly what you mean.
The shy girls become impossible to deal with.
I find that girls assume I'm some sort of player and often give me the cold shoulder, and start the endless games and tests to see if I'm a player. Eventually I get tired of having to prove myself and 'chase, chase, chase, eventually give up; only to have the girl get all pissy because she really liked me, but after everything from ignoring me but hoping I'll keep trying to panicking over the attention and pushing me away only to then want me back.
I do find it a little easier with older more experianced women, but still find problems with their self doubt, jealousy over other women being attracted to me and fear I'll just sleep around.
Ironically I'm the furthest thing from a player.
I have also learned, because of my looks women often want to assume that I must be some big earner as well. But I'm a strange sort that doesn't go for greed and wealth. That disappoints the ladies greatly. But weeds out the gold diggers.

I've all but given up and haven't been on a date for years. It's just not worth the stupid games and tests.
Often I hear people bitch about how it would be so easy if they were good looking.
But there comes a point where it just serves to isolate you and you find yourself lonely.

[TangoLima]

Every girl thinks I'm a player too bro. Like my ex girlfriend thought I had slept with 20 girls and am a player when in reality I couldnt be any further than that.

[Joti_Harrison]

No bro. Shy girls have less probability of being sluts. Yes shy sluts exist, but they are faar in between the more party - hard out - there and overconfident sluts.

Being a slut requires a good amount of OVER-confidence on a girls part. Just go for a girl who knows what she wants and is between shy to confident. Just make sure you don't go for over-confident. Lord knows how many guys some of those over - confident girls have gone after, and you know guys never say no to pussy.

I appreciate confident girls who approach, but don't always rely on that, you're a man, try and make the shy girls more comfortable around you. Ask her questions about herself, and let her open up. You have to learn this bro, If you want to be a winner in the dating world.

[TangoLima]

To be honest I prefer shy girls cause like you said, the probability of them being slutty is lower. But the main problem is that they act weird af around me so I can't really break their wall so to speak.

[Anonymous]

aww haha deer in headlights look, yeah I'm one of those. You just have to give it some time and be persistant, she'll eventually warm up to you if she does like you. Try approaching her when she's alone too because from my experience it's more embarrassing when your friends or other people are looking or listening in... I don't know her personally but if you've never had a chance to try talking with her alone you should.
Try not to be too flirty either just be friendly initially, break the ice by making her laugh (if she does like you it probably won't take much for her to laugh as it's likely nervous giggling) and then you can flirt a bit and give her a compliment or two :) hope I helped

[Opinion Owner]

I forgot to say, if you can get her number, texting is a great way for her to become comfortable with you and show her personality

[TangoLima]

I'll try... there's this girl but if I am literally within 10 metres of her she gets visibly nervous and starts acting very fidgety. I spoke to her a couple of times and she gave a lot of one word replies, was shaky, stuttery and seemed nervous as hell. It got so awkward I had to find a way out of there.

[Opinion Owner]

aw bless her :'( Yeah it must get get quite frustrating, you must be really good looking if it's every girl... I thought I was really shy but I can usually pull myself together a bit to make friendly small talk and smile, even if I'm freaking out inside lol good luck anyway! :)

[TangoLima]

It's gotten to the point where I dont even have normal non-sexual female friends because basically every girl acts like this around me... even cashier girls and friends of friends. Pretty much all girls act like this around and it just gets so annoying... I have enough confidence to approach a girl but they dont even have confidence to just have a steady conversation with me. Like I said earlier it gets so awkward because of the girl, that I just make up a reason to get out of there.

[Opinion Owner]

Wow... I really feel bad for you. This may seem strange but do you normally approach girls your age/younger? Have you ever considered approaching older girls? I feel you might have more success because they tend to be more confident in general around younger guys. Not too much older just like a couple years or something.

[TangoLima]

Normally girls my age. Its surprising because this girl is actually 3 years older than me and she still acts shy around me. I've also dated a girl that was 29 and before she got comfortable she used to act like this around me too, and she told me she was super nervous around me before she got to know me and I made her comfortable.

[Opinion Owner]

Well at least you know it could possibly work as it has in the past. I know it's hard but the best advice I can give is to keep trying and don't give up too easily. :)

[TangoLima]

It took forever though... like she crushed on me for a year and was nervous for pretty much that whole time.

[Opinion Owner]

Don't worry too much about it, patience is a virtue! You're still young too. One day a stunning, confident girl may come along and you'll be the deer in headlights XD

[TangoLima]

haha hopefully. Seriously, being good looking is more of a curse than anything. I'm also not the type that goes out a lot or goes to clubs/parties so it makes things worse. I prefer normal girls, and it just happens that these girls get super shy/nervous around me.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah well, I wouldn't mind that curse lol
you should also try dating online, I know it's risky with catfishing and stuff but if you connect with a girl, it's less likely she'll feel intimidated if you show her what you look like after chatting for a few days :)

[TangoLima]

I'm not really comfortable with online dating though... I prefer the old school way. Girls are just intimidated by me cause I look athletic/handsome, I play sports, I'm over 6 foot, etc. I don't really approach girls unless they give me those signals, but even with those signals they give that signature deer in headlights look lol. I'll keep trying but its super frustrating. One time this girl was walking in my direction and she saw me and literally stopped in her tracks - with the deer in headlight look lmao.

[Opinion Owner]

ahaha I love that phrase deer in headlights... yeah you can only try :) one more question, do you normally go for really attractive girls? like what's your type, it might have something to do with their reactions lol

[TangoLima]

These girls are actually very pretty and fit. I dont even know why they are so shy even though they are gorgeous. I prefer personality first but obviously I am attracted to looks at first sight.

[Opinion Owner]

Ah that's very strange then :/

[TangoLima]

I noticed she changed her schedule to fit mine for like over a month, but because she was so shy I stopped talking to her. I noticed she went back to her usual schedule yesterday.. does she want me to chase or did she give up?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah well now you know not to give up too quickly, even if it's really frustrating

[TangoLima]

Lol but its not my fault. I did try to talk to her but she literally just shut down and didn't know how to behave. Not much I can do...

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah it's definitely not your fault but I don't know what else you can do haha

[TangoLima]

I noticed some subtle cues from her friend as well. Her friend throws sneaky glances my way, and when I walk past her she immediately jumps on her phone - probs spying on me for her lol

[Opinion Owner]

hmm... so what's your plan then?

[TangoLima]

I guess Ill just keep talking to her.. or maybe try to get to her through her friend.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah good idea

[qais4hadid]

There is a girl I like in school and I don't know how she feels about me , she always said that I'm a gentleman and I'm one of the best guys that she ever known , but the problem that she flirts with everyone in front of me but she don't flirt with me , and once we were alone together she started to smile at me and asked me if we can take a pic together {she don't take pic with boys } and she changed the way she reacts like she was shy or something but I don't feel that she was shy because she feel comfortable when there is other students , and talk to them all but she don't talk to me , and I started to feel that she avoiding me or something... when I text her she take too long to replay and I asked her why she said that she is busy from studying and family and everybody texting her and she don't have time to replay to everyone and then she apologize to me... she don't look me in the eye... and now there is a long holiday... is this girl shy too? and dose she likes me?

[dwiller943]

No. They just happen to take more effort compared to outgoing girls, because they are actually more valuable. The more valuable a woman is, the more effort it's gonna take with her.

[Anonymous]

Give it time. I'm a shy girl myself but that's just until I get to know someone well then you wouldn't believe the transformation.

[TangoLima]

Its been like 2 months and she's still so shy around me lol

[JohnDoe3000]

It sounds like you could easily get their numbers or ask them out, so that's what you should do.

[TangoLima]

I can't really do that when they literally faint around me bro. I'm actually kinda sick of this problem lol

[Anonymous]

Insist, show genuine interest and make them feel safe around you.

[TangoLima]

How do I do that? There's this girl I know on a very superficial level but she gets so nervous around me she may as well faint.

[Opinion Owner]

Justt keep talking to her often, look genuinely interested in what she says, like her stuff on Facebook, try and be genuine and boost her confidence. Girls like that are usually very insecure and won't be certain of your interest unless you work hard to make them believe you. Just be sweet and consistent.

[TangoLima]

I dont know her well enough at this stage yet. We just kind of see each other everyday, but she gets super shy around me, so shy that I can't even talk to her because it looks like she's gonna faint.

She goes red, fidgets, starts playing with her hands/phone, flips her hair, stares at me, if I go up to her and talk she'll give me the deer in headlights look and look at the ground - and speak in a really soft voice (but if she talks to other average guys she's loud and flamboyant). Then she notices that I stopped approaching her so she'll sit near me so I talk to her again - but I've kinda just given up on her and stopped trying to initiate because she acts so shy.

[Opinion Owner]

Then say hi every time you see her, don't stop talking to her lmao she's not gonna faint she's just nervous. Ask her about her hobbies or what music she likes or some shit. If you don't have her facebook then ask if you can add her and like a few pictures. All that's gonna boost her confidence little by little and help her be more comfortable around you

[TangoLima]

I'll try. Seriously man she gets so shy that its freaking ridiculous. I know she's attracted because of the aforementioned body languaeg signs plus the fact that she always stares at me when she thinks im not looking. She uses mirrors and the corner of her eye to stare at me.

[lukeedmonton]

Never give up, never surrender.