Why do girls want to be treated like objects?

[Anonymous]

I'm the type of guy that would tell my girlfriend that she is beautiful everyday of the week. They type of guy that would make her feel special and text her a good morning text every day. I'm the type of guy who would go out of my way to protect my woman, but girls don't want that. They want a guy who will treat them like some sort of object. Do you know how many times I've been told to "just get the head" from a girl, like she isn't a human being, only a sex machine? Girls like that shit too. They like being treated like objects. What ever happened to chivalry? To respect? All my friends care about is getting sex from a girl, I'm the only one that cares about meeting a cool girl that I'm attracted to physically and personality wise who I can bond with. Why do you girls want to be treated like objects?

[Anonymous]

I appreciate those things, like having a protective, sincere gentleman for a boyfriend. I'm not a friggin' sex machine, and anyone who thinks that's all I'm good for can shove their heads back up their asses, because I am a self-respecting young woman who deserves a chivalrous guy. I hate that girls I know nowadays are treated like (and also act like) sex toys that can be thrown around without a care, because that's not how I see myself and that's not how I want others to see me. I'm not okay with having flings with random jerks who only care about sex, and I won't lower myslef to that level because I know I'm worth more than that; I have myself a respectful gentleman of a boyfriend and I adore him greatly.

Also, being a nice guys isn't a bad thing. The whole point of dating isn't to suck dick and fuck around- "dating" is getting to know someone because you have an interest in them. A nice guy would do just that. They wouldn't be expecting a bj at the end of a first date, they would be kind and open and genuinely interested in the person they're on a date with. Don't get dating and hookups confused, my dears in the comments.

In actuality, being respectful and chivalrous to a girl you're dating is really bold and shows strength. If he willing to defend for her, support her, care for her, and protect her, then he's stronger than any guy who thrives off having girls suck them off. Just saying. It takes a real man to genuinely care for and be there for his woman.

[natured]

Well you really threw this out to ALL of us, and I can guarantee you, that not everyone likes to be treated like objects, i have no idea with what kind of girls you are surrounded with, but i can guarantee you, that this assumption is wrong.

My man is like you, he texts me goodmornings and goodnights, he holds doors open for me and treats me like a princess, and honestly, I LOVE HIM and i would not change him for no other man in this world...

media.giphy.com/.../source.gif

[Anonymous]

these masochists you describe in no way represent all girls or even most of them. they are just a loud minority. most of us need just a loving, masculine man that stands on his own feet. if you are fun to be around, kind, and not a doormat. you will be ok with most girls.

[Anonymous]

why the fuck are you asking us. ask your girlfriend and stop boasting about "how good you are" on gag.

[Asker]

I don't have a girlfriend...

[Opinion Owner]

that explains it, stop whining. it's not like you have met every girl on the planet. maybe you aren't in the right place now and that is why you have not met girls with some self respect ffs.

[Asker]

Damn. Woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?

[MazeOfLove]

From a relationship coaching lens, I wouldn't generalize 'girls' here. Having been in this business for 10+ years and having seen 500 clients, most girls/women do not want to be treated like objects. Even the ones that are really into sex don't want to be treated like objects, they just want someone that can take control in the moment. There is something to be said about some women being more attracted to the 'bad boys' or the 'jerks' but that is generally because they associate 'bad boys' and 'jerks' with men who are confident and assertive. Sooner or later, these women realize that they are not looking for the right attributes in men and they move on from that unhealthy type.

[Asker]

So I have to act like a bad boy now and then a nice guy later?

[mellifluous_girl]

THANK you! I agree completely with this.

[MazeOfLove]

No--You have to be yourself. If you try to be someone else in order to attract someone else, there will never be an authentic connection. I've been in your shoes where I didn't understand why some women were attracted to the "bad boys" until I realized that it was a phase for them and we have all had relationship blind spots.

[brain5000]

Nothing like a 40-year-old counselor to give you useful information followed by bad advice. YES you have to be a "bad boy" now, but interject little moments of being nice -- mainly in private. You are probably already "being yourself" (whatever that means) and look where it is getting you.

Instead of "being yourself," feel confident in the natural charm you possess that got her to agree to go out with you in the first place, then turn it up a notch or two. Be confident and assertive, but also demonstrate that you don't need her and you are too good for her, especially if she is crazy hot and way too good for you. That is being a "bad boy."

[brain5000]

As for it being an "unauthentic" relationship, just consider the type of person you really want to be. This process will change you. Just make sure you understand your own values and don't alter them for someone else -- especially some girl who will dump you for the next shiny object guy who happens along. Look up the definition of the word "integrity." It is more important than wilting your withering soul into someone else's arms. But also know that if you want a relationship, you might have to change your behavior a bit to get there. Adapt that change to your own personality and values.

Conan O'Brien put it best:

[brain5000]

"Way back in the 1940s there was a very, very funny man named Jack Benny. He was a giant star, easily one of the greatest comedians of his generation. And a much younger man named Johnny Carson wanted very much to be Jack Benny. In some ways he was, but in many ways he wasn't. He emulated Jack Benny, but his own quirks and mannerisms, along with a changing medium, pulled him in a different direction. And yet his failure to completely become his hero made him the funniest person of his generation. David Letterman wanted to be Johnny Carson, and was not, and as a result my generation of comedians wanted to be David Letterman. And none of us are. My peers and I have all missed that mark in a thousand different ways. But the point is this : It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It's not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right, your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound re-invention."

[brain5000]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmDYXaaT9sA

[I-am-a-nobody]

I can sympathize, but...
You're generalizing. For some women it's a phase. Many others never want to be mere objects, but they are usually quieter and get less of the limelight. You're hanging out with the wrong people (probably the loud slutty type). I realize the "rules" have changed since I was dating, but you should probably listen to the older guys here, who have witnessed female behavior for a generation or two. Don't compromise. Keep looking for a woman that wants a real man, not some boy who just wants to get laid.

Work on yourself. Be the kind of man that a decent woman would want.

[Unit1]

Well, this is a bit tricky.
But what comes first in my mind is that you aren't looking broad enough for girls, meaning you haven't met a girl, who wants to be loved. She is out there somewhere.
Second thing comes in mind is that i see where you are coming from and i feel you.
Third thing comes in mind: While you have a chance and are willing to you can have your share of the sex if its that easy - if you don't mind risking your reputation that is.

But mostly you should keep looking out for good girls if you want a good girl, not a sex-machine.

[Kayla45]

I've never voluntarily asked to be stepped on or treated like I'm worthless, some people have zero respect for others so it seems like we are at fault but in reality that's the furthest from the truth. Everyone is guilty of mistreatment, men and women both. Some are way worse than others, whether it's verbal abuse or being treated like an object as you said.

[ShaunaM95]

I certainly don't want to be treated as an object. Anyone who treats women like objects is disgusting in my opinion. I have no time for people like that at all.

[Vivaldi]

I masturabate 3 times a day

[ShaunaM95]

Okay?

[Vivaldi]

:D :D

[Anonymous]

I guess most are now obsessed with sex. They forget, sex needs to stay in the bedroom. Personally, I don't like my "interests" to happen to me in public. I prefer things to be with someone I trust and private. If some random person came off the street and tried that, I'd be pissed. But my interest? It'd be hot.

[Anonymous]

first of all, if you treat a girl better than she treats you or has treated you, first she'll get confused and then she'll take advantage of you. second of all, keep the interplay between masculinity and femininity in mind when you ask these types of questions. outside of that, just know that a bunch of people are just going to say "not all women" and you won't get an answer.

[Love_Is_Eternal]

Haven't you learned by now that most women are brainwashed and that nice guys finish last? Sorry, but if you are a nice guy seeking love and commitment, I'm afraid it's over for you. Feminism and the media have completely brainwashed women and given them brain damage. Love, commitment, and happy families is almost extinct. And besides, in a few decades the West will be Islamic countries. Just face it, it's over.

[SarahsSummer]

We don't. It sounds like that's what your friends think of us. maybe you should think about better friends instead of thinking we want to be objects.

[karahiri]

Some girls will want you, some won't. Can't really expect everyone to want what you're offering because you think that's how it should be.

[Asker]

So some want to be objects?

[Vivaldi]

Some girls with want me? That's a lie.

[Vivaldi]

Some girls will want me? That's a lie.

[curiousmehehe]

according to research all DNA are not same and they can't be. some girls dont want to get in relationship so they do such things so they could be independent but some girls need a boy who take care of them and understand them.

[danyalovettie44]

Most girls don't but it's sad some girls act like that out of insecurity or in want of attention.

[Vivaldi]

why are they wearing mini skirt then?

[danyalovettie44]

@Vivaldi What do you mean? Do you have a problem with mini skirts?

[Vivaldi]

Wearing mini skirt means showing your body. Showing your body means liking to be seen as an object.

[danyalovettie44]

@Vivaldi No, girls wear mini skirts when they go out to a club or something. It's just a fashion choice.

[danyalovettie44]

@Vivaldi Most girls DON'T want to be treated like objects, trust me lol. Your situation seems to be pretty common among guys-- You want a nice girl but she's into another guy who's just a plain jerk, that's about it. There's nothing special about him--he doesn't know how to make a girl feel good about herself, doesn't let her know that he loves her just through a simple three words or small action. Just know it's NOT your fault and don't change who you are because of the bad taste young women have in men. or *cough* BOYS. What you could do is just be self-assured and know that you're a great guy worth knowing. Many girls just don't see the difference between a confident, masculine guy and an asshole. By saying masculine, I mean protective, self-assured, reliable, sensitive. This doesn't mean girls are selfish or evil; they just haven't had experience. Once a guy starts abusing this type of delusional girl, she's gonna regret her choices and want to find a good guy who will respect her.

[danyalovettie44]

@Vivaldi Oops, sorry! I thought you were the asker. These comments are directed towards @asker.

[Vivaldi]

What is the point of wearing mini skirt then?

[Anonymous]

It's the first time seeing a guy that do like that, I think it's more like you are the only guy that thinks like that, I really hate that girl act like that, but not all the girls are like that, you are actually only the second guy that I ever heard that really want to love a girl and not an abject/ a machine

[lizzye]

it seems a sexist question. why don't u say men with great desire for sex are sex machines?

[Asker]

Don't give me that "sexist question" bullshit. Men don't want to be objects, but women do. They think it's cute and want to always impress the guy.

[lizzye]

ur this question deserves it. that is only the jerks' imagination. all of my female friends and me DO NOT wanna be objects.

[SovereignessofVamps]

Because she could see it differently, like how she sees the sex acts.

[AleDeEurope]

Dude, at your age, most girls are just looking for sex. They want relationships later in life.

[Vivaldi]

With handsome, muscular men?

[AleDeEurope]

@Vivaldi Not necessarily. I mean, obviously hot guys will smash more, but you don't need to be a 10 to get sex.

[Vivaldi]

I am 26 years old, I've never had sex with a girl. There is no way in hell. All I can do is pay escorts. Escorts don't count and some of those escorts were trans women also. You see it's very difficult to have sex with a girl. It's something impossible for me.

[AlwaysBelieving]

I think that's just your experience man. I don't think people (in general... male or female) want to be treated as objects.

*clears throat* civil rights and the slaves circa 1865 *clears throat*

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Chill out. They're advising you to start taking the initiative when it comes to sex, not enslave her and keep her chained up in your basement. Jesus..

[disgustingweebtrash]

Milady
i1.kym-cdn.com/.../1380697092809.jpg

[HarryJBenton]

Have you actually tried initiating a relationship with any of these girls or are you waiting for them to throw themselves at you?

[Asker]

I have tried to initiate a relationship. That's how i know that all they want to do is fuck

[HarryJBenton]

They told you that?

[Asker]

Told me and showed me.

[Topkek]

Because women like getting treated like shit. Plain and simple.
There's a reason why the statement "Nice guys finish last" is true.

[Asker]

But why though?

[Anonymous]

Do both.

Some girls love both.

Tenderness plus wild sexual objectification?

Yes.

[renterymarthom]

yo know something your probably right women are strange

[ButtHurt]

Oh here's another 'nice guy'!

[Teenagekid16]

Lol I hate the nice guys

[ButtHurt]

@Teenagekid16 we all do buddy

[Asker]

If you want to be treated like a sex object then you do you. I'm just saying I wouldn't treat you as such

[Asker]

@Teenagekid16 lol you hate nice guys. Ok my wanna be edgy friend.

[Teenagekid16]

@Asker chill. I'm not edgy I'm just not a nice guy that doesn't have a backbone for his girl

[Asker]

@Teenagekid16 I have a backbone. Just cause I treat girls with respect doesn't mean I don't have a backbone...

[ButtHurt]

I don't want you to treat me at all :D

[somewheresomeway]

@asker please buy the Corey Wayne's 3% man book. Read it 10 times.

Although your intentions are "white knight" you are dooming yourself to the friend zone. I feel for you (takes one to know one). However I started getting laid a lot MORE when I learned to be challenge.

[Yanika]

@somewheresomeway here we go.. getting LAID. That's exactly what Asker is talking about, and he said he wants more than just being laid. I really don't know what is wrong with that..
And by the way guys like you - who study 'how to be a man' and use it for getting laid only are the spineless one if you ask me. You don't have balls to deal with a real woman you just prefer to stay safely away, emotionally unattached. That is easy. To dare to be close to someone when you can potentially be hurt that requires some spine and balls.. (of course I am not talking about 'yes, dear to everything' guys, there is a difference)

[somewheresomeway]

@Yanika whoa slow the fuck down on the accusations... you didn't read between the lines with my post. I was just like this guy when I was younger and it does NOT WORK. I found at the hard way.

You women are always saying that you want a man to "care" for you but deep down you respect him less if he doesn't exhibit aggressive masculine tendencies. There is nothing wrong with being a gentlemen and it's not all about sex. But a man cannot afford to come off as a "beta" if he has any hopes of getting the girl romantically. I'm try to help this kid avoid all the pain and agony I went though when I was younger for being too "nice"

[Yanika]

@somewheresomeway okay sorry, maybe I was a bit offensive. However it is not 100% true what you say, my man got me exactly with that: being romantic. I know what you mean though, that women like men to be men, that is true we still like you being your own person and strong,.. I just get annoyed because lately it seems like men found the easy way around and they understand being man means being jerk. Many girls fall for it, and that is also the reason why many girls are becoming more and more bitchy. It is sad actually, I just wish we both would respect each other more.

[somewheresomeway]

@Yanika the issue in dealing with right now is that I have recently become very successful in my career. In two years I got out of debt and bought a townhome in a tough market. I retired from being a pro cage fighter

I would of have thought that some women would appreciate me for the success I've had lately. Instead I'm attracting mooches and freeloaders. These women made asinine decisions earlier in life (dated or married douche bags) and now they are ladies looking for a "safety net". Pisses me off by how selfish women can be.

[Anonymous]

Girls aren't cool. They're whores. It's just the way it is. So no bond. You must fuck. Then move to the next hole. Afterwards repeat.

[Vivaldi]

They will have sex with muscular, handsome men. Not you nor me.

[Opinion Owner]

@Vivaldi No you mean not "you".

[HarryJBenton]

It's obvious why you're anonymous. You probably never had sex, at least not with a woman.

[Opinion Owner]

@HarryJBenton mangina, back off.

[MaiNameIsSunshine]

Ummmm, you are talking to the wrong girls.

[Asker]

Then where are the right girls? There are none that I see. They all want to get drunk and suck dick and be treated like objects

[Vivaldi]

It don't hurt nobody.

[MaiNameIsSunshine]

@Vivaldi was anyone speaking to you. No. Don't start stalking me because you got your panties in a bunch last time you commented on my opinion (also without anybody asking you). Ta ta.

[Vivaldi]

Said the conceited girl who takes selfies.

[MaiNameIsSunshine]

@Vivaldi okay haha good comeback mr. pantybuches.

[MaiNameIsSunshine]

I'm going to have to block you if you keep stalking me so please leave.

[CrystalChild]

You're looking in the wrong places pal

[catelyntje]

Have you even stepped in the real world?

[Asker]

So you want to be a sex object?

[catelyntje]

No girl wants that

[Asker]

Most girls my age do... all they want to do is suck dick

[catelyntje]

Lmaooo yeah right

[Asker]

Ok don't believe me then. That's your provocative.

[catelyntje]

I don't know any girl that does that lol

[Asker]

That's a lie. Either you are the most sheltered anti-social person in the world or you're lying. Which one is it?

[catelyntje]

It's number C none of the above

[PunkinPie]

Shaking my head

[Anonymous]

You're the type of guy who is boring af

[Asker]

And I guess your the type of guy who doesn't see women as human beings but as objects. The type of guy who isn't afraid to hit a woman. The guy who just fucks and goes without getting to know a girl. How would you know I'm boring you ignorant fuck? Do you know me?

[Babé_Hearts]

we don't!! wtf

[Anonymous]

I don't.

[Anonymous]

we don't want to

[Anonymous]

they dont?