I GAVE HIM A GIFT AND NOW he's IGNORING ME?

[Anonymous]

I asked him to open up after he recieved the gift he started ignoring me. ( he has problems opening up and showing his feelings he said early on when I first met him and that I would never know about him and to quit asking and got very defensive) and now he's ignoring me like I did something and acting like we didn't do anything together! He said I'm a " real MVP" for that. Wtf does that even mean? He hasn't texted me in 5 days and doesn't care to talk to me but all I did was get him a gift and we both agreed on him opening up. He keeps saying he's busy which is an excuse. Does he not like me anymore. When we are at work he kind acts like I'm just like everyone else and is avoiding me almost... he liked me before I got him he gift. And he keeps saying how he's so happy to receive it yet when asked about our friendly exchange for the gift he ignores me and now he doesn't talk to me anymore. I then told him I will leave him alone for good until he is ready to talk and all he said was " Thank you"

[CallMeAlice]

Well.. what was the gift? It may be insignificant and actually it's irrelevant in the grand scheme of things because this guy sounds like a super douche. A gift and I'll open up and actually talk about my feelings? That's BS. And if he actually cared for you, he would want to share what's inside with you. I didn't mean that to come off as harsh but seriously. I think you should leave him alone. Maybe one of the guys will have some better input 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Asker]

It was a trade ( I was gonna give him the gift anyways) it was a gift he REALLY wanted. He begged for it and I just wanted to make him happy. He has emotional issues and now I'm upset because the gift wasn't cheap. I know I can't buy trust but I told him that I didn't know how to make him believe that i wasn't a liar and I did what I said I was gonna do. I am leaving him alone but the gift thing pissed me off because he promised and regardless if I was gonna give it to him even without him telling is SUCH an asshole move of him to now stop talking to me and not do what he said he was gonna do

[Asker]

The gifts was something very expensive it was a pair of shoes and YES I have the money for it I'm pretty blessed with a wealthy family. So money isn't the issue it's just the fact he lied or didn't lie but got cold feet and is ignoring me like I did something wrong

[CallMeAlice]

Well honey, all I can say is no one is worth that much BS if they're not at least trying to meet you half way. A lot of people have emotional issues, but it doesn't stop them from trying to work it out with someone they care for. If he was really concerned with yals relationship he would be finding ways to show YOU that he's worth it, considering his obvious issues. Also it sounds like he might of used you to get an expensive item for free. I know that's not what you wanna hear but from the outside looking in, that's exactly what it looks like.

[Asker]

I know he's a jerk. I just wish I never got him the gift. I always do things out the kindness of my heart and this is what happens a lot. I truly just wanted to show him I cared. And obviously I did by getting a gift and all he had to do was tell me about himself and he couldn't even do that? It was such a little thing for him to do and he ignores me. I just hate how we work together. I'll pretend he's not there I guess until he explains himself

[CallMeAlice]

Well not to be rude but you didn't really do this out of the kindness of your heart, you did it to get something from him. I mean it is lousy that he didn't hold up his end of the deal if that's what was agreed upon but honestly this is not how you get someone to open up to you. That would be time, patience, understanding and caring about someone. I suggest you just let the gift thing go and let him be for awhile. Or move on from the situation because it doesn't sound healthy to begin with.

[Vmm90]

Depending on what has gone on with him it can be hard to open up. He knows he has agreed to something and he could not know how to approach it.

I know it sucks but don't press him about it, just give him the space. Don't have any expectations from him.

[Vmm90]

Thank you

[dude64bro]

Sounds to me like you gave him an unwanted gift, which was laden with expectations from you. He knew you expected something back, which is not the point of gifts. Which you did because you got upset with his response I'm guessing.

He's ignoring you because he wants you to move on from him. Maybe he doesn't feel the same way as you, like you like him more than he likes you.

[Asker]

It wasn't unwanted he wanted it REALLY BAD. I know that's not a point of a gift but I needed anyway for him to open up because he show no emotions to anything. He didn't mind my bribe and he agreed and was so happy but didn't believe I was gonna get him the EXPENSIVE gift ( I really like/liked him) and he got the gift and didn't follow through. I just don't know why he accepted the gift in the first place is what is really making me upset. I even asked him that and he said " I'll tell u later just not now I'm gonna tell u" he agreed to our exchange so it was his doing too.

[Asker]

Now he's ignoring me? It hurts me real badly because I see him at work and he acts like I did something terrible to him. Do you think it has anything to do with his trust issues and how he can't talk about his feelings? He told me he never talks but agreed to talk about it with me? Then goes awol

[dude64bro]

Hmm, I bet he didn't want to make you feel bad if he rejected it. That moron! Then he probably felt guilty about taking it and felt like you were way into him that he was into you. So he didn't know how to deal with it except allow you to move on.

He doesn't want to feel obligated to you and he most definitely doesn't return your feelings. I would just block his number and try my best to move on.

[Asker]

I know it's just that I work with him and I'm wondering if I should just go up to his face and ask " did you use me?" And make him feel bad or just completely ignore him and pretend he doesn't exist. That's so mean of him to do that. He was saying how he liked me and how he wanted me to be his and everything and then I asked for him to open up and he vanishes

[dude64bro]

No, don't go up to him and make him play the villain. I know you're probably really hurt over it too, but he probably never meant to hurt you. It was probably just casual dating that got more serious and he wasn't ready. If you really need closure ask him about it privately and be very mature about it.

He doesn't owe you anything, remember that. I've gone through something similar so I know how to handle this. If you see him, try to smile and be friendly. It's bad to assume that people had the worst intentions for us, when they probably never had any at all.

[Asker]

I know he doesn't owe me anything I was gonna get him the gift anyway but wanted a way to talk to him. I guess I shoulda realized when he said he doesn't date as a CLEAR INDICATION. he is emotionally unavailable and I think me asking him to express himself scared him away. I think he wants to but just can't so he is trying to make me leave him alone which I guess I'll do. I'll be too sad to smile at him and stuff so I guess I'll ignore him. But I don't know I don't think that would help so I probably may smile at him but that's about it or maybe not depending on the day. I'm super hurt tho. And I wish he knew that because that was mean of him to do regardless.

[dude64bro]

Hey it gets better. You are not the only one to have ever gone through something like this. I think you'll make it through just fine. Do not resent him, it will only make you hate him and fear relationships.

Forgive him for anything that hurt you. Remind yourself that he is learning to about himself and what he wants as you are. And smile. Smile at him a patient smile. Don't let it get to you and forgive him, then you will move on and be an incredibly wise and strong person.

[Pegme6]

Did u put it in his ass