These are my demons. Logic says they're untrue, emotion says they are. That's what makes them insecurities. Not every girl has these insecurities either, but these are mine, to do with men.
- My hair is too frizzy and too short and unless I have Kim Kardashian hair he won't see me as feminine or sexy.
- My skin is terrible. I look ugly and disgusting and he would never find me attractive.
- My eyes are too small and not sparkly enough. I don't capture his attention.
- I have bags big enough to go on holiday with and I look like a crack whore.
- My nose is stubby and disgusting and makes me look like a pig.
- My lips are hideous and I can't imagine why he'd want to kiss them.
- I have hamster cheeks and look like a fat greedy little kid.
- I need to keep my makeup intact to stop him from seeing me without it. If he did, he'd leave immediately or pass out in shock.
- My boobs are small and deflated. I'm young but I look like I've got an extra 20 years and 4 kids behind me. How could he find me sexy when my figure isn't feminine?
- My stomach is fat. I look pregnant. I can't hug him or he'll feel it and be grossed out.
- My butt is saggy and jiggly. It should be firmer and higher. It draws so much attention to itself and it's not even attractive. I should never walk in front of him.
- My legs jiggle ridiculously as well. I can't show them ever.
- My feet are too big and manly.
- My vagina looks weird and couldn't possibly be sexy.
- My nipples are asymmetrical and it makes me look like a freak.
- I can't ever be warm enough or I might get too hot and sweat and then he'd find me unfeminine and disgusting.
- I can't be too cold or I might start sneezing and get a runny nose and that would be embarrassing.
- I sometimes trip over my own feet which he must find either funny or stupid or both.
- I say really stupid things and make myself look like an idiot.
- I do really stupid things and make myself look like an idiot.
- I get upset over stuff he doesn't get and then I look pathetic.
- I can't fall behind him because then he'll think I'm stupid for not being able to achieve things.
- I can't be ahead of him because then he'll think I'm unladylike and unattractive.
- I can't ask him for help because then I'll look like a golddigger/freeloader/incompetent idiot.
- I can't do everything by myself because then he'll think I'm too proud to be attractive to him.
- I love that thing he does but I can't ask for it in case he thinks I'm some kind of sex freak.
- I'm not so into that thing he does but I don't know how to say it in case he thinks I think he's not good in bed.
- His exes must have all been better than me in bed.
- I'm a fat beached whale and he must cringe every time he sees me eat.
- Guys hate hearing girls complain about their weight. I can't talk about it.
- I can't lose weight because I'd need to go on a diet and guys hate it when girls just order a salad.
- I like him so much. Does he like me too?
- I love him so much. Does he love me too?
Ok, well rather than give you a detailed list of all the things we women can be insecure about, I think I'll break it down into a few categories for you- but they all stem from the same basic place: we're not exactly what you have in your head as an ideal woman, you're busy comparing us to other women and somehow finding us lacking.
Appearance: basically,we're too small/big in any number of areas (from breasts and butt to feet or face), you like blue eyes we have brown, you like straight hair, we have curly...We worry we don't live up to that picture in your head of the most attractive woman ever. Most women I know, if they're honest, really do want to be the most attractive woman in the world to you, even though we know we're not really the most gorgeous woman out there. See that's kind of the problem, most women know there are other women out there who live up better to both society's and what we THINK are your pictures of sexy. True or not, we're insecure about not looking how you/society think we should to be sexy.
Personality: Again, we don't live up to what your ideal woman is or what society tells us the ideal attractive woman should be. Anything from being unathletic to being more at home under the hood of a car than our boyfriends are. We're too smart, too dumb, too bubbly, too laid back, too girly, too tom-boyish etc.
Doubts: Because of the above insecurities, we might doubt that the men we date truly care about us and find us desirable.
I know this is kind of unfair, but a lot of these pictures we have in our heads of the "Ideal" woman come more from society than from men- all those models and magazines of every kind...Men definitely help to create the picture though. Every time I see guys saying how hot a tall, leggy, super fit blond with perfectly tamed hair is- it gets filed away not even consciously. But here I am, a short, average girl with wild curls so when I have a bad day or a bad rejection, the insecurities about never being that tall blond come back. Of course I'm reasonably sure she has insecurities too- she feels too tall, wishes she had wider hips or whatever. Women tend to see all the things they're NOT in comparison with other women and think, well, if she's sexy I can't possibly be sexy...Which of course, isn't true and we rationally know that but insecurities aren't rational. But mostly, I don't think the insecurities take over women's lives, they're just there and catch us at bad times when we doubt ourselves anyway. Sometimes for some women, the insecurites become larger issues (anorexia, plastic surgery addiction, self-harm etc) and they need help. But not usually, that's why best friends are so important- they're our biggest cheerleaders and help us feel gorgeous, appreciate our own great attributes when we can't seem to see them.
- I'm too tall. No one wants to date a giraffe.
- My boobs are really small...are they too small?
- I don't have any curves.
- I have acne, bacne, AND acne on my chest.
- I'm not very pretty...should I wear makeup?
- I don't dress in a very feminine manner. Should I? Would I get more attention from guys?
- I have an overbite which causes my mouth to fall open if my jaw is relaxed. I don't want to look like an idiot all the time with my mouth hanging open.
- I have glasses. Does that make me unattractive?
- Without my glasses on it looks like I have huge, dark under-eye bags.
- My hair is frizzy a lot and it doesn't stay untangled very long.
- I'm into some stuff that could be considered nerdy and not much that's mainstream. Does that mean I'm not interesting to people?
- I worry too much about whether or not I'm being a bother to someone.
- I don't really know how to be sexy and I feel like I should for my boyfriend. Instead I'm just awkward.
- My cheeks are almost always blotchy and pink/red.
- I still keep a stuffed animal from when I was four...is that childish?
- I'm not good at making friends and talking with new people...am I unapproachable because of that?
- Out of the past eight times I asked someone out only once did I not get rejected. Does this mean I'm not very dateable? Am I not what guys are looking for? Will I be single until I'm 35?
And I'm sure there are heaps more, but these are what I thought of immediately.
I find it fascinating and a little sad that girls/woman almost run out of room listing their perceived flaws. I think it's because women are, by nature, more thoughtful and introspective than guys. The truth is, 99 percent of what you all worry about are either made up (in your mind) or so minor that a guy would never even notice.
Women are insecure about their appearance all the time.
A lot of my friends keep complaining about their weight, but I think they look beautiful anyway.
Opinion
6Opinion
Oh gosh. This list could be huge. Honestly, guys have insecurities, girls have insecurities... We all do... I think that generally, girls tend to compare themselves to other girls. A lot. They're always worried about who has less cellulite, stretch marks, bigger boobs, tighter butts, less belly pudge, clearer skin, better hair, whiter teeth, longer legs... Who is smarter, funnier, nicer... Who gets the most attention from guys, and why? Who wears nicer clothes? Why does he like her instead of me? Why am I still single? Will I be seen as a slut if I do this? Will he freak out if he knows that I'm still a virgin? How do I compare to his exes? Is he going to dump me for someone better? What defines "better?" ... etc. etc. etc.
I feel like (and this is debatable), most of our insecurities are based on what guys may or may not think of us. But the truth is, different people are attracted to different things, so I think that it's more important to just be as confident as you can, love your positive attributes and get over the little flaws that you can't fix. Or, if this works better, remember that lots of little flaws CAN be fixed. Haha... Who knows... It's all so ridiculous when you look at it from an outside perspective, but I think it's safe to say that all girls have some pretty similar insecurities, whether we admit it or not.
Sad, but true.
You wouldn't believe how many, lol. It depends on the girl. For me, it's almost everything though I guess most of it is pretty usual... Weight, skin, hair, facial features, body hair, odour (yes, I'm clean, omg, but you know what I mean), teeth, boobs, not being a good sex partner, not having a good job, offending my boyfriend somehow, being a bad girlfriend, worrying about worrying too much... Haha. It goes on and on. It can be stupid as "omg, my fingers are too wrinkly, he is going to be turned off if I touch him" or "omg, I have three extra eyebrow hairs". Seriously. I think because girls tend to be aware of details, we tend to notice silly little problems and fixate on them.
But the thing that's ironic is stress causes a lot of problems including weight gain, breakouts, fatigue, and of course emotional/social/psychological issues because of cortisol production and other effects. The best thing to do is (really oversaid but its true) keep working on becoming comfortable with yourself. If there are things you can change that really bother YOU (not anyone else's opinion of you), then sure; go ahead and change. But learning to accept all the little quirks, details, even "flaws" will make you feel a lot better.
Once you meet someone who loves those things about you (and believe me, that person is out there... if I could find someone who doesn't care about my flaws, anyone can!), you will feel better. It won't take the worries away 100% but it does help in time. :) And if you can feel good about yourself BEFORE finding that person, even better. It's a long process, but keep trying. No one should feel like they are lesser than another person. We're all different for a reason.
*sigh* Here goes...
He just commented on that other girl's breasts ...does that mean mine aren't good enough?
He keeps talking about his ex ...does that mean he misses her more than he likes being with me?
Why did he say "whatever" when I said "I love you"? Is there something wrong with me?
Am I annoying?
Why can't I ever do anything right?
Does my hair look okay?
Do my zits and the scars on my arms really turn him off?
Is my place clean enough?
Do I seem fat and unattractive now that I'm pregnant?
Will he leave me if my vagina doesn't go back to its small size after the pregnancy?
Did I deserve to be abused by my ex?
Am I somehow asking for it if guys hit on me lewdly? How can I make them stop?
Am I a bitch for completely ignoring them?
Am I being a bad daughter/goddaughter/granddaughter/great-granddaughter?
Would he like me more if I were blond?
Ohmygod, ohmygod - BARBER RASH!
Do I smell okay?
Am I going to make a good mom?
Just a few thoughts... Note that the majority of this constitutes internalized panic, lest it be externalized and dismissed and chastised as "girl drama". :o)
Is it okay that I'm not working right now?
waking up one day & finding I can't walk. not finishing at least 2 degrees in school.not getting a job in a field I love. world war 3. economic depression. famine. genocide. invasions. rape. nuclear holocaust. global warming. animal torture. people torture. parents getting sick- id have to take care of them, and I want to stay in school. being stuck in a building with horrible ventilation. losing my memory. not being able to master the guitar. forgetting how to play the flute. heart attack. osteoporosis. never seeing people I really care about ever again. not being able to set things straight. being misunderstood. misconceived. miscommunication. oceans will be polluted.native peoples will become extinct. languages will become extinct. anal sex is in/will stay in vogue. music before the 80's will be lost. talking in person will become obsolete. grass will become brown. I'll lose my voice. lose my hearing. lose my sight. I'll stop traveling. french. spanish.german. greek. latin. sanskrit. painting. sculpting. drawing.theater. fencing. archery. traditional spanish dance. typing.
Okay let's see if we can get this all down:
I'm not model skinny (that's a biiig one)
I'm serious a lot, and when I'm not, I'm a total nerd/spaz
My hair is brown and plain
I don't dress all trendy
I'm sarcastic
My family is far from perfect
My fingers are weird
My feet are damaged beyond belief because of my pointless love for pointe
My name- people constantly call me bryan
I'm quite short
My eyes are dull and grey (unless you're close)
I'm awkward around people, especially guys
I have freckles
I wear makeup
Without makeup, I'm not so pretty to look at
At some points, I'm TOO mature
When I yawn my throat makes a really weird noise
I'm obsessed with uncommon music (especially for my age
I'm not athletic- at all
I'm smart, which is good until people call you a dork
My life is boring and original
I don't have a boyfriend
I'm frequently confused...
I think that's most of them... Sorry but some, I just won't let go of.
so many things! women always think they aren't good enough because society has placed such an impossible, unattainable standard of beauty on us. I am insecure about my small boobs, my cellulite, my fair skin, my long nose, etc.
for everyone its different, but we all have something that keeps us from being the standard "beauty" we see in the media. even though no one is perfect, we all have things that make us insecure.
and everyone knows that if you are physically attractive, things come easier to you. I see girls who never have to pay for things when they go out because the male employee thought they were pretty. bitchy girls will have impossible amounts of men after them because they are hott. I am not saying looks are the only thing that matter in the world, but being good looking helps a lot.
we all want to be treated well and viewed as attractive.
Lol, using my statement are you ?
I'm flattered. ^^
I was talking about, for example, if you think you aren't pretty or interesting enough. A guy that doesn't really love you will pick up on this and will take advantage of it. He'll know he can get away with flirting with other girls, cheating, treating you badly etc. Some girls genuinely think it's because THEY have done something wrong or because they aren't "good enough", rather than the guy being selfish and manipulative.
So they put up with it.
As for insecurities ... every girl has her own. Even guys have them, but from my experience, they don't let themselves be taken advantage of as much.
I have to admit it but a lot of our insecurities are superficial, we tend to care so much about the aesthetics such as hair, facial features, arms,boobs, stomach legs, ass, how clothes look on us. are we too fat or too skinny? its so overwhelming, if I had to guess...I would say at least 1 out of 3 girls are trying to lose or gain weight or some how fix something about ourselves because we're that insecure about our bodies/looks but we try not let it control our lives.Personality is also issue, we don't want to come off as too much of anything...we're forver trying to keep a keep a balance of everything...we want to have it all! ha ha wow I know that sounded pretty sad but its true...
Personally, it's my nose. Everyone thinks it's hideous. Andddddd my arms. I think my biceps are weird. My boobs, I'm a C but I feel like they're too small because I have wide hips and fuller thighs and butt. My legs, they're really short compared to my torso. My skin. I have a few acne scars. My eyes because I have dark circles all the time and little bags. And my stomach for no reason, I'm actually really fit, but I think my stomach is just weird looking. I don't like people touching it or looking at it. Haha.. yup.. I guess I have a lot :/
Oh wow...Lets see.
-Too tall (all the guys that like me are shorter than me)
-If I'm dressing correctly or not
-my laugh (I got like..A 5 year old giggle, my friends try to tickle me to laugh at it.)
-boobs (I'm pretty sure a lot of girls worry about this also. Right?)
-crazy shy and sometimes I can't help it.
-not popular at all. I have a few odd friends (but I love em)
-personality (I always feel like I'm boring someone when I talk)
-ugliness just in general
- klutz at sports.
- my family is completely different from me.
- I've gotten rejected before I even asked!
- Plain. (all around)
-If I overthink something I freak out and when I freak out it takes forever for me to calm down.
-SO many more :/
A LOT. I don't think it's possible to not have any, unless they have that narcissistic personality disorder.
It could range from their boob size, body shape, hair texture, to the sound of their voice. (Those are a couple of mine.. >.<)
I've got this quote from somewhere, not sure who said it but here it is:
"f you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter. For always, there will be greater or lesser persons than yourself." It's a nice quote to think about when feeling too up there, or too down there also :)
my mom told me when I was younger that I was not pretty, that no clothes would make me pretty, and she told me no one would ever like me, and that I was a nobody and so on and so forth.
I am sure if guys had this fed to them when they were little kids till they grew up to be adults, they would some what feel insecure also.
as I grew up and moved away from my mom, I started dating (finally) at the age of 22. I realized all my new friends (untainted from my mom's opinion to me) told me I was very beautiful actually. I started getting a lot of attention from guys, and guys telling me I was beautiful, smart, and a very nice girl. I dated around 20 guys in 2 years before I settled. I guess everything my mom told me was proven wrong but from time to time I still feel some what very insecure about people liking me, and my appearance.
Bajillion.
RANT:
My thighs are too fat, you can see the cellulite. My acne scars, my acne on varying places on my body. Hair. Body hair in general, especially in unwanted places. My nail beds are too short and my fingers aren't thing, long, elegant, and not wrinkly. My calves aren't perfectly shaped and I'm not well toned. My butt is isn't well toned and a bit saggy and not all uppity. My body isn't toned are taut, so when I run I jiggle. My breasts aren't big enough. My eyes are too small, my lips aren't the same rosy pink color, and my face is too long. My hair is slightly frizzy. My back isn't curved to the max and I have a small bust. Scars. Wounds that never heal. My arms are all fatty on top. My genital areas are not perfectly colored and what not and my aeriolas look strange.Being fat. Not being stylish enough. have short legs. Having fat on my tummy and not being super thin. teeth... Almost everything.
short
too muscular
legs are too big
flat chest
flat hair
shy
antisocial
annoying
boring
ugly
imperfect skin
dirty long nails
too conservitive in clothing
not trendy
fat
bags under eyes
stutter when nervous
paranoid
Wonder if my boyfriend likes other girls
lack of self confidence
bad at sports
feel like I would fail before I start.
bad peronality
bad family history
lack of common knowledge
-My thighs are large
-one of my teeth is slightly lower than the other
-I have lovehandles
-my hair is hopelessly straight and flat
-I have a round head
-I have bags under my eyes
-My face is super freckled
-I'm a bit shy in the bedroom
-I'm always the dumpee not the dumper
everyone is different, body. looks, personaity, pains ( we don't want guys to see our pain, or our past), our scars. Our History, if we are good sexually, if we can please him ( and get pleased- that's why we fake it.). Our families are crazy, our taste in food is different or in activities, in movies and music ... pretty anything we could be insecure about we probably are. lol
My body shape, my butt, my boobs, my weight, my height, my hair, my nose (especially nowadays), my lips, my eyes, the way I dress the way I act and more. Then I ask questions like: Does he think she's prettier than me? Is she prettier than me? Does she dress better than me? Does she get more attention to me? She probably does so then I go into why: She probably has bigger boobs, bigger butt, curves, fuller lips, smaller nose, and then I say "wow I'm ugly compared to her and that's why guys like her better". That's how I think about things and its sad what the world has put into a young womans mind, making her wish she was just perfect because of how they portray women. Doing all of that analyzing has brought me down tremendously as a person :/
I'm always worried a guy is only interested in my looks. So whenever I meet someone, I will only be interested in them if it's obvious they really love my personality. My biggest insecurity is giving in to a guy, falling deeply in love and then being cheated on once you're a bit older (married and children) and less attractive.
Different women have different insecurities that they have to overcome. Some are insecure about their looks, intelligence, & the list goes on. Women aren't born confident, we have to learn to love ourselves. Those stupid magazines don't help either by the way. They make it seem like women should be super skinny. But I know I don't like men to be "super" skinny, so I believe love women with a little curve too.
the biggest issue right now to me is the ideals of being skinny and glamorous looking. like women have different beauties that at one point were their crown and glories, however with recent conflicts women need to be smaller, prettier and sexier. (even tho, we cannot divert from our genetics.)
ironically enough, men stated that they would take the meat then the bone sometimes. (they pick ideal looking women over... superficial looking, long legged models)
example the jersey shore losers, half thos girls are fake and one night stands.. (not all men are like that..even I know that one)
i personally sometimes have these self battles, however I remind myself that I may not be a hollywood celeb-model..., however I'm me and that alone makes me unique, plus confidence is key, if a girl is confident then who the heck cares what her insecurities are. :D
cheers...
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