Guys, why would you cheat on your girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

What could be the reasons for that?

My ex boyfriend of 4 years cheated on me, and now that happened again! I thought my currently boyfriend was the 'perfect guy', but just found out he cheated on me! (I even feel like a dumb for have said he was perfect) =///

So, I don't know why is this keep happening with me again? What's wrong with me? Why would a guy cheat on his girlfriend? And why is that, the boyfriend behave so desperate, and beg for a 2nd chance, and say he loves you, but yet cheated before?

Please I'm very confused/sad... I need a guy's perspective!

This is a serious question... and thanks in advance.

[bluntkrayon]

I personally have never cheated, and don't ever intend to. So I'll speak about this hypothetically, and logically, as possible. Mind you, the average person, is never rational, no matter how hard we try to be, or tell ourselves.

Heard of the saying, "It's not you, it's me". It's probably true; maybe it's them, or guys in general, or people in greater generality. We all look for something to spice up our life, so anything that's different, will probably entice us. Think about this - cereal. There are some people that can eat the same cereal day in and day out, with no issue. There are some that need a different type of cereal each day. It's all about variety, and the duration. Some people can have the same thing for a short period of time, and others can last years. Hate to boil it down to that type of analogy, but I think that's like people. It's not the fact that what they have, isn't good. It's the fact that what they have is the same, so they look for something different.

Or, it could be you. Don't take this the wrong way, just hear me out. Maybe you've changed over the period, and that's caused them to stray. You might not see it so apparent, but to someone else, you could be a totally different person. It's like when you put too much cologne / perfume / deodorant on; you can't tell if you have, but everyone else can tell. It's like that saying goes, 'You're not the same person I fell in love with all those years ago'. Again, this might not be the answer, but it's a possibility.

Remember I also said that people aren't rational? Well, it could be the possibility, that the guy is looking for a bit of drama, so he starts to stray. Maybe there's no feelings for the other girl, but he's straying to cause a bit of drama in your relationship, just for the heck of it. Some people like drama and conflict. It sound's counter intuitive, but it does happen. Maybe that could explain why they act so desperate for the 2nd chance. They wanted to cause the drama, just so they could go through the whole process of trying to win you back etc.

So it could be one of these, or all of these, or even other possibilities. Just remember, sometimes we think before we do, and sometimes we do before we think - even the same person. No one person is perfect. We all have flaws, and we all really are irrational. We just tell ourselves that we're logical and rational, just so we can feel comfortable for a period of time, until something like this comes up.

[Dotcomperson]

Hi. First of all, I'm really sorry that your boyfriend has cheated on you. I understand you are very upset and distraught as a result of his actions. And I think you are in the process of trying to understand his behaviours. The truth is there can be many different reasons why men, or women for that matter, cheat on their partners. Mostly, these behaviours tend to be opportunistic more than anything else. Obviously, there was an instant temptation, it would have been easier to 'go with the flow' and give in to the temptation rather than abstain from it. In any event, asking why is not likely to produce any satisfactory answer for you unfortunately. What is certain is that there is a trust issue with your man. Relationships are founded upon trust, and without trust relationships often lead to nowhere. It is a basic requirement to any longterm relationship. You have two options: (a) take him back or (b) ditch him. It is up to you but if you do go for the former you will have to deal with the question for yourself whether you will be able to trust him again because the relationship is unlikely to survive if you feel insecure or suspicious of him all the time. If you do decide to ditch him, there will be someone who will appreciate the relationship with you and be loyal and trustworthy. You just have to be on the look out for the right one. Good things take time. Hope that's helped you.

[nikkibrecht]

Hey, I have been in a 3.5 year relationship with a serial cheat... they are not all like it but you can generally spot the signs. In that when they are loyal there is nothing dodgy especially with regards to secretiveness - i.e mobiles and passwords, facebook etc.There's no flirting or showing off with other women, joking or not. They make you feel special not insecure. I got very very low being with my ex and then next boyfriend, of six months just ended as again, although no proof and he finished with me, I never felt secure with him either for the same reasons.

When you are in a relationship I wouldn't even tolerate anything that makes you feel insecure, the right guy won't do that. I'm still telling myself this as I'm struggling too.

Wish you all the best

xx

[twiggebitch]

1. the bitch is clingy

2. she h8 ur friends

3. she wont stop talking shit

4. ur already thinking of breaking up with her

5. shes jewish about something you love doing.

6. ur tired of the relationship..it most likly got dull and some other bitch is spunkier and more out going and funnier and not so serious

y they come back and plea... cuz they can! and you take something good for granted and then they kick themselves in the head... but hey! its an x for a reason! good luck friend.

[TheCheshireCat]

1) He doesn't love her

2) She doesn't love him anymore

3) Women let men get away with it, they take them back for fear of being alone

4) The girl is a nag & makes him feel like crap

5) The opportunity was there

6) It boosts his ego

7) They can get away with it. What she doesn't know won't hurt him

8) It's challenging & exciting

9) She cheated on him

10) She doesn't put out

Sorry, that's the unfortunate truth of why men cheat.

[Snugz]

First of all, as long as he has yet to mature, taking him back will only demonstrate to him that it was okay. There are some different reasons why I think a guy might cheat. He might have low self-esteem and might try to jump on every chance he gets; he might not have been completely committed to the idea of being monogamous from the start; he might have begun to get upset at how some things in the relationship were going but, was too scared to bring them up and decided to cheat.

To answer some of your other questions: no, I would never cheat, he asks for a second chance because he might genuinely have feelings for you but, he is not mature enough in his mind (or so, I would suggest, whatever you decide to do is your choice). Lastly, there is nothing wrong with you. Just be on your guard not to be taken in by counterfeits. Over the past 20-30 years, their has been a field in development for men to better their dating lives but, some just use it to learn tricks without ever actually becoming men.

Hope this helps.

[Johno]

Lots of fellas cheat on there girlfriend BUT, Loads and loads of them don't!

Most men, including me won't cheat one their partners. Now don't get me wrong, when I'm single I am a dirt bag! and that's the truth but ONLY when I'm single.

It's not a black and white issue I know but would you really want to take back a man who had been with another women while with you. Really would you? I would bet you wouldn't.

As for why this keeps happening to you honey again (Lots of fellas cheat on there girlfriends" You have probably been unlucky enough to have a few of these types in you life. I am very sorry for you in that regard but, Don't let the actions of a few sh-t bags push you off a really decent bloke cos there millions of them out there.

Let us know how you get on honey?

Regards,

One of the good guy's ;-)

[Americanman]

No I wouldn't cheat on a girlfriend but you probably already know that because I've talked to you before.

What is wrong with you is you are attracted to the wrong type of guy, the bad boy type guy that many girls are attracted to because of the confidence a bad boy has. Women think they can seduce these bad boy guys and change them and make them not want to have sex with other women but that is not possible unless the guy decides it is. The reason he begs to get you back is because he may really like you in some way but has no self control or he just wants more sex and doesn't care.

There is no need to feel dumb about it. I think we've all stuck up for people or said good things about them only to get hurt later. Live and learn.

[JoTree]

Even though humans are evolved creatures, we are still slaves to our biological programming. Nature programmed women to want one man to fulfill her every need and programmed men to want every woman to fulfill his one need. You can't hate every man because of his inner nature, just like most men don't despise woman for wanting a man who is financially secure and provide her with that stability.

The question is, how can you as a women prevent your man from straying? Simple. Fulfill his one desire the best you can. Don't withhold sex as punishment and don't scold him for his fantasies. Be the initiate for sex more often. Be his every woman in the bedroom. It will let him know you find him desirable.

Now, if he still cheats after that, then he's greedy and is letting his nature get the best of him. That's his fault and he doesn't deserve you.

[lefthand]

I love my wife dearly and would never leave her.

I also like sleeping with other women.

That doesn't mean I don't love sleeping with my wife, just that I like women, all kinds of women as sexual partners.

We worked this out before we got married. We are not sexually monogamous. It worked out well for us and we have been happily married for over 15 years. Most sexual attraction is transitory. You are strongly attracted for awhile but that passes and you move on. If you know that, you can recognize that outside sexual partners are not really a threat to your relationship

[Littletad]

No I would not cheat on a girlfriend. I think the problem is hard to figure out. It could be you dating on a pattern, or being too lose in your selections. I think you need to be good friends with someone first, before you consider them a potential date. Or maybe you were, and he just turned up being a jerk. For the most part, you can't be too hard on yourself. There probably is no logical reason as well, and you just have the worse of luck. Learning from this experience and moving on, is a hard lesson too. For the most part, don't let this guy have a second chance.

[chrsschb]

I would never cheat on my wife.

But to answer your question possible causes of cheating for me would be if we became emotionally or intimately detached. At this point the relationship is over anyways and it's just boiling down to who is going to give in and say I'm done.

[curiosa18]

All guys cheat believe it or not some cheat a few months later others years but it eventually happens don't think something is wrong with you even the most sexiest girls get cheated on. Becuz guys are never satisfied with what they have they always want try and see what others things are out there. sad but true!

[oceansprayy]

I would if

1. She cheated on me

2. She was being possessive (getting jealous of other girls, kicking up a stink about going places etc.)

3. Not making me the right sandwich.

[Crea4114]

^^ lol @ 3

[Anonymous]

Here are some reasons men cheat...

Sexually unsatisfied, payback for your cheating, feeling disconnected with mate, took opportunity on whim, unhappy with mate, already planning to break up.

[Anonymous]

no I would never do that. I don't understand why they would do that.