The girl I love is dating a "Chad", what do I do (PUA or MGTOW) ?

Question

So, this girl i'm in love with was dating a "Tyrone". I was nice to her and help her deal with her break up with the "Tyrone". A week after her break up, she started dating a "Chad". She picked the "Chad" over me. Should i just give up on love and go MGTOW or become a PUA?

Definitions for Chad and Tyrone:
"The manosphere glossary, which "documents the more common terms of art, neologisms, and memes used by men's rights activists, pick-up artists, Men Going Their Own Way [MGTOW], and other denizens of the manosphere," explains further:
"The man, the myth, the legend. Chad is the archetypal alpha bad boy; he and his girlfriend Stacy are perennial objects of the manosphere's. Chad's Black counterpart is 'Tyrone,' because of course that's his name."

dangerDoge · Accepted Answer

There is a possibility that, while you see this girl as romantic material type, she sees your personality as a type for a friend. Being nice to her may not change this fact. HOWEVER, this does not mean every girl follows the same sort of pattern as this girl. She may be attracted to (as you put it) Chads, but it’s not like all girls are attracted to Chads. If that were the case, evolution would argue that all guys would act like Chads for reproductive success.

So the ultimate question: what do you do when you find someone and the compatibility is only one way? Bluntly put, you move on. Find someone else who you can find attractive on the same sort of level, and see if they likewise find you attractive. Incompatibility with one is not incompatibility for all, and I can guarantee you this is not the only girl in life you can fall in love with. Dating is a sort of roulette wheel, because it requires two to tango, so to speak— regardless how one side feels. Hence, people generally do not get married with the first girl/guy they like. It takes multiple tries. However, once you find a match, you’re solid for (usually) a good amount of time.

Changing yourself to be an MGTOW member or PUA is like the nuclear option. It’s an overreaction to the problem.

The second part to answering this question is then kind of a ‘how to move on.’
In a general sense, I think the first step is accepting that you are wanting to move on. It’s convincing yourself that you aren’t trying to have some grand hope in a sudden change-of-mind.
Second step is taking the distance you need. Sounds perhaps odd, but I would suggest actually telling your current crush your feelings followed up by a “I understand the situation though. I just wanted to share what my thoughts were instead of bottling them up. I may take some time to distance myself / recollect my thoughts, but I hope we can remain friends afterwards.” This will help give peace of mind, because it helps your brain accept the situation more. It’s a sense of rejection. Yeah, it may sting some, but if you don’t do it, there is a possibility of being frozen in a phase of unrealistic hopefulness.
Step 3 is accepting the feelings and letting them die into something that happened in the past. I think step 4 is when you can talk to the girl as someone who is a friend. I see step 5 is being open to other girls.
There is no time frame on the steps, but that’s how I see things at least. Hope it helps maybe a little 👍

JustMyTake · Accepted Answer

This is the problem with MGTOW. Everybody in MGTOW holds a similar belief- women value appearance and cash over personality. Their evidence? Women aren't dating them. The problem: that assumes they have a good personality. A lot of the people in MGTOW are absolutely awful. Basically, they are "chads" without any of the good qualities. They're mean, hostile, lack compassion, insecure, etc. These are people who take pride in rejecting women because a woman rejected them before and women are a monolith. That's awesome dude, you made her cry... except, that wasn't the girl that made you cry. And the two have nothing to do with each other.

They also automatically assume any guy with the positive traits of a "chad" also possesses the negative traits. It is theoretically possible for a woman to love a guy with a six pack for his personality. A six pack or being tall does not automatically mean "toxic personality." Good genes in one area aren't good genes in another.

You don't seem like the sort of guy who would enjoy being part of MGTOW or PUA. Seems that you genuinely love this girl. I would suggest giving it time. She just broke up her emotions are all over the place, maybe she's trying to mask the emotional impact of the last break up with this "Chad" as you call him. I'm not suggesting friending this guy- he's an asshole. He's dating a girl you're in love with. He's an asshole and you hate him.

I would try giving her space and exuding some of the positive qualities of a "chad"- trying to have fun and enjoy things as they come, acting confident. But don't help her with boy issues either. Be your own guy and invite her into your life. Basically MGTOW but not lonely and depressed.

That's my advice. Don't look to PUA or MGTOW. The guys in that movement...

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You give up and move on to someone else

DidiXDidi · Accepted Answer

LDAR is always an option.

Anonymous · Answer

Which is more important: your happiness or making a statement?

PUA will make you happier, but you will have lost the battle.

MGTOW will allow you to stand up for what you believe in, but you'll be miserable.

Anonymous · Answer

This is not a personal attack on you or a troll. This is actual advice. Give up on both ideas, give up on her, and try to re evaluate your mentality. And look up Dr. Nerdlove.

IntuitiveMuffin · Answer

Did you every think about get a Becky? Lol Maybe she"ll help you learn how to respect women as and not go pua or mgtow.

asdfdude · Answer

Here's what you do: Stop reading crazy MRA bullshit on the internet

Parkwayvwhitechapel · Answer

What. this Chad?

Pftpftpft · Answer

Don't give up that easily. Assert your dominance and see what happens.  Make him seem inferior to you somehow.

Anonymous · Answer

Why would you be a PUA if you suck at getting women?

JellyDonutguy96 · Answer

beat him up show your girl that you're the dominant one, survival of the fittest

Tiger6960 · Answer

Are you are a retard? Mgtow means Men going their own way, you should rather join an Incel forum instead they sure share your stupid ideologies.

TripleAce · Answer

😂😂 next it’s going to be Brad

BeadsrBest · Answer

Grow up and stop living your life based on a misunderstood quote from a movie. Geek.

name_is_eric · Answer

Need a shoulder to cry on?

Anonymous · Answer

Walk away

Nazgûlîsildur · Answer

Begome an Incel

The girl I love is dating a "Chad", what do I do (PUA or MGTOW) ?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

The girl I love is dating a "Chad", what do I do (PUA or MGTOW) ?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.