Guys, is being wholesome and modest a turnoff??

[luv2bshort]

OK I don't mean naive, and I don't mean girls who wear potato sacks.

i just mean someone who doesn't show the whole world everything she has. and someone who doesn't jump from guy to guy having a lot of sexual relationships.

i am a really fun person and good person. I have always attracted guys enough to be friends (and they all say I'm a great person and they love hanging out with me) but never asked out. I don't look Amish (no offense to anyone who is) I wear cute trendy clothes but I never dress to show my sexual body parts, I look nice and pretty. so is that a turnoff?

I'm not going to change myself one bit I like who I am and I plan to stay that way, I guess I just want to know why I don't get asked out...

[bluntkrayon]

There are many reasons to this:

1) Sometimes guys don't want relationships; sometimes they just want something physical, and just that, and maybe you don't give that vibe off, so they don't bother cracking on to you, and just see you as a friend.

2) You might not be their type, ot they may not find you attractive, so they only see you as a friend

3) They find you too attractive, and automatically rule themselves out from asking you. You know that feeling of being out of someone's league. Maybe they assume that you're too good for them, and they have a better chance at being friends with you, rather than being nothing at all.

4) Maybe the guys around you have been rejected so many times, that they don't even bother trying anymore, with asking girls out, and just settle being friends; only for the fact that majority of the time, that's all a girl really wants to be with you. Sometimes I get that impression, that they're only looking to be friends (I mean they may think otherwise, but I get that vibe off them).

It could be one of those, or a mixture of all of them. It's pretty hard to know what the cause would be, but personally I find wholesome girls great; doesn't hurt to have the inkling that you might be a freak behind closed doors, but the whole girl next door thing, is an attribute. It'd be great to know that you'd get dolled up everynow and again for function or whatever (I had an issue with my ex because she NEVER got dressed up at all, always a t-shirt and jeans, which was great, but I'd get dressed up, and she'd be too casual), but more often than not, the laid back girls are the best. Apparently the average male, is really looking for the girl next door as a life partner, rather than the next notch on his belt buckle.

So it's great that you're not going to change yourself, because really, you'd be the ideal girlfriend / wife or whatever other variant in life.

[Anonymous]

Just hang in there. True, most of the guys your age are probably looking for immediate gratification, so they're focusing on the girls who are willing to do anything for attention. HOWEVER, don't assume that you have to go that route to be liked. You may just have to wait a few years on the guys to "grow up" a bit. After all, women mature faster, and while you're obviously mature enough to have respect for yourself and know what you want, most guys are still struggling with that. Trust me, though, your type of girl is very much appreciated and the type most guys prefer to find when they want a relationship. The guys who don't appreciate who you are, are the type of guys who are too shallow anyway and just want a quick fling.

Be patient. You'll find, soon enough, that you're going to be a very sought-after lady!

[Tamikaze]

Guys will enter into relationships with girls that appear more girl next door in general. However, guys will notice and likely be drawn to the quick lure of sex more frequently, so girls that give off a vibe of sexuality will get more attention, but not attention that quickly ends in a relationship. You can be sexy and get wifed up too, but it has to come with a strong will not to put up with being treated poorly and the ability to quickly move on and avoid guys that are showing only interest in a sexual hit and run with you. That can be tricky.

So, regardless of being wholesome or a hottie, it takes time to meet someone who is interested in you for a relationship. I would say if you are attracting a lot of guys as friends, you may just be playing it safe by putting off too much of a "friend" vibe instead of a potential girlfriend vibe. You need to consider how to flirt rather than just be so wholesome that a guy could never see you as anything other than his little sister.

[Anonymous]

omg I swear I thought it was me who was asking this question

[wazza10]

lady, that's golden. Keep it up. My guess to why do don't get asked out much? I think most guys around you would prefer an easy girl to just have fun with nd get laid then most probably run off( I know tons of ém believe me), but since you seem like a smart, modest girl mostly "good guys" would be interested but they might be SHY! you know what I mean? so just be cool nd don't rush it, the right person will come eventually... :)

[wazza10]

ps. I seriously wish there are more girls like you around where I live

[Banquo]

It's definitely not a turn off to me. The only girls that I would even think about dating would have to be sweet and innocent types. I don't know why you aren't being asked out, but I'm quite sure there are plenty of guys that you see everyday that like you. I think it'll happen soon enough.

[pbima]

not a turnoff for me, I actively seek girls like yourself because you seem like you have good values and would be trustworthy, that way I could focus on having fun with you without dealing with the bs.

[2Mysterious]

You've got good qualities! Definitely not a turn off. Some guy is gonna be over the moon to have you as his girlfriend someday.

[snackeyg]

Sounds like my kind of girl actually.