Ladies, what does it mean when you tell a guy "I hate you" during sex?

[Anonymous]

My ex and I have been seeing each other again, and last weekend we had sex for the first time since we broke up. It was honestly some of the best sex we've had-- passionate, long-lasting, laughing, etc. I pulled out a couple new moves, and she seemed to like them. But she also had something new-- a few times during sex she moaned out "I hate you" or "I f---ing hate you" and then orgasmed. Is this something common? Our sex isn't particularly rough, but she does like spanking/hair pulling. What should I say back when she says she hates me? She tells me jokingly she "hates" me usually when I make her laugh. I'm just wondering if there's a different connotation when it's during sex. I know she obviously doesn't HATE me, but I'd just like to hear from women what fuels them to say that and what they'd like to hear back from the guy.

[CauseNEffect]

Maybe she means that she hates the effect that you have on her, the way that you can make her feel. Basically, it's maybe a compliment.

[Asker]

Why won't she just admit she still loves me then? Like she admits she still has feelings and stuff, but I can tell she's hesitant to totally open up.

[taleswapper]

It's spontaneous emoting. At a guess, she hates that's she's vulnerable to you still, even after the breakup.

[Asker]

That would makes sense. Things are going good, but I can tell she's trying to move slowly

[Pinay_ako]

Maybe she said that because she hates the fact you're not together but she's under you and definitely not over you.

[Asker]

So it's a good thing? I still have feelings for her too..

[Pinay_ako]

yes it is a good thing... She might feel being used. She loves you but she hates the fact she is having sex with you when she shouldn't coz u guys after all are exes..

[Asker]

I was a believer in "an ex is an ex for a reason". But our break up wasn't due to anything I did or she did, but rather things we both needed to do for ourselves. We've had a great time together so far, and agree that we need to take things slow,. I know her feelings are there, she told me "I couldn't find anyone better than you no matter how hard I tried" but I think she's hesitant-- she responds whenever I text her, but she won't text me every day. Not sure what to make of all of it

[Pinay_ako]

She is holding back because she doesn't want to fall deeper.

[Asker]

So how do I show her it's alright to be vulnerable?

[Pinay_ako]

By telling her. No need to play mind games. Be direct and go from there

[Anonymous]

She is telling you that she is using you for sex and does not really want to be back together with you.

[Asker]

How do you figure that?

[Opinion Owner]

UNless she wants angry sex with you then she wants you to say the same thing so she can hate you and break it off.
If you keep saying you like her then she can still be in denial about her feelings. Thinking you don't get it or your also hiding your own feelings.

[Asker]

So she doesn't actually hate me

[Opinion Owner]

She has mixed feeling.

[Anon-ymous1]

Why did you break up.

[Asker]

We both had some issues we needed to work on, and felt it was better to work in them as individuals rather than as a couple. We've both expressed regret about breaking up, but agree it had to happen for us to both be where we're at today.

[Anon-ymous1]

Okay, so... what are those "issues."

[Asker]

We moved too fast, and realized that our relationship was headed down the same one as our previous relationships. We're both people who allow our relationships to dictate our self-esteem. We lost our identities as individuals, neglected spending time with friends and family. I also had somethings to focus on with my career. It was a recipe for disaster if we didn't slow down

[Anon-ymous1]

Okay. So... that doesn't sound like something that's unworkable.

[Asker]

Exactly. So how I'm just wondering if she's saying she "hates" me because she actually still loves me but because we talked about taking things slow she doesn't want to jump the gun. Or if this is just a sexual fetish thing? Lmao I mean it was kinda hot cause she was clearing enjoying what I was doing

[Anon-ymous1]

She obviously doesn't hate you, she just said it in the moment because it's been on her mind. No clearly she was enjoying getting fucked, and thought it was hot in a oh-this-is-wrong (even though it's actually not) sort of way. Both guys and girls like that, but especially girls.

[Asker]

I feel ya bro, that's what I figured. So should I continue to pursue her or fall back a little bit and make her chase?

[Anon-ymous1]

She won't chase. Girls don't chase. You already know she's interested. She'll just percolate in passive-aggressive limbo and text you every once in a while and be unhappy. Either be with her or cut her off, I'd say.

[Asker]

Well I wanna be with her, but we said we needed to go slow this time around. When we're together we act like a couple, but we don't text everyday and we only see each other once, sometimes twice a week.