Guys, What does it mean when a guy jokingly says "I hate you"?

[Anonymous]

So... I've known my friend for over a year now and he's only recently been doing this. he's clearly joking because he laughs and smiles after he says it.

I tried to ask him over text if he actually hates me or not. He said "Honestly Im just going to keep you guessing." Any idea what this all might mean? Does he actually like me or am I over thinking? What should I do?

He's a very sweet guy and I did ask him out once but he declined. He does me favors all the time and is always there when I need him. Im getting mixed signals and decided to come here for clarification. Thanks much!

Updates

+1 y

Update: so he was joking about it again today saying he hates me. I said back "the feeling is mutual" and he responded with "good". Still joking obviously but now I am really confused about the entire thing lol

[MrOracle]

He's just teasing you - he doesn't hate you, that much is clear. It sounds like that's his personality, and that he probably acts this way around most girls he's comfortable with.

Now, if you're the ONLY girl he acts like this around, then it may be that he's interested, even though he turned down your offer. If you like him, then you should say something like "instead of teasing me at work all the time, you could just ask me out, and maybe you'd get some answers to the questions you obviously have."

[Asker]

Yeah. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one he does this around. He only started acting like this after I asked him out. He'll go as far as to do me favors at 1am. I remember once he picked me up from the hospital at like 10pm and it was like a 3 hour ride there. We didn't get back until almost 2am. That's not the first time he's done something like that either. He even let me sleep in his bed once and he took the couch. he's just really confusing lol

[MrOracle]

He definitely has SOME kind of feelings for you then.

You probably need to consider that his feelings might not be romantic, but purely sexual. And in that situation, many guys will avoid anything romantic, but still give a woman a lot of attention, hoping that she'll catch on. Most guys lack the confidence to tell a girl up-front "I don't have romantic feelings for you, but you are sexy and I'd really like being friends with benefits with you."

The best thing you could do is just get him alone and ask him to be honest and tell you straight up how he feels and what he wants, with no judgement. Then you won't need to wonder or try to decode his behavior.

[Asker]

Yeah true. The sad thing is I've tried to ask but he's too shy to give out a straight answer 😂

[MrOracle]

That's why you need to get him alone, and tell him "no judgement." Let him know that his behavior confuses you, and it would really help to have an honest answer.

[Asker]

For sure, I'll try that next time I chat with him. Thanks ^^

[jerdanro]

Playful teasing is flirting. I think he is attracted to you. It's how a lot of people dip their toe in the water. A playful tease to see if there is interest without being too direct. The next step, if he's good at flirting, would be some light, inoffensive sexual inuendo to build a littl tension.

[Asker]

There has been some sexual innuendo but mostly over text and the occasional light flirting / joking. I joined his discord group once and he would send me like anime porn? No clue what that was about tbh. I ended up leaving the discord group though. But we know each others kinks and whatnot as well. I don't know it just seems as though he just acts like he hates me cause his words don't match up with his actions.

[jerdanro]

It's hard to express sarcasm or "just joking" by text. My guess is he's flirting. Maybe tey a vouce or video chat if you are potentially interested in him. Tone of voice and body language say it all. I would bet you he is flirting and is attracted to you.

[Asker]

Yeah I mean we do talk over voice chat basically everyday on xbox live. He told me once that he prefers to chat with me that way instead of text but didn't tell anyone else that.

[jerdanro]

He likes you Hon. If you like him flirt back or just tell him.

[Asker]

I'm pretty sure he knows I like him so what's a good way to flirt back considering the situation?

[jerdanro]

You might be better off asking some of the women here for tips. But if you're face to face make eye contact and smile.

[Asker]

For sure, thanks

[AmeerX]

He likes you but he is not sure of the relationship

[Static_In_The_Attic]

It means he loves you.

[Wise4myage]

He might be teasing you?

[Asker]

Well I said to him "the feeling is mutual" but jokingly. And he replied with "good" and laughed. So now I'm super confused about the entire thing lol

[MC2024]

dont worry he does not hate you

[OnTheLevel]

Just playful banter

[Asker]

So I don't know if y'all read the update but he's joking around about it still. I said "the feeling is mutual " and he said "good" in a joking manner. Now I'm more confused from when I originally posted this lol

[Iron_Man]

It’s a joke

[In_Trance]

Nothing.