Is there a way to tell if a girl is sexually experienced before getting her to bed?

[Anonymous]

I've been seeing this girl for a little bit. Even though I've tried my best to ignore the rumors about her, I can't help but wonder if she's the woman that people are saying she is. I want to be clear though, I don't care if she's slutty or not. This girl and I have developed a deep and very emotional bond... I guess I'm just curious... I have held a certain idea about her for so long, and I want to know if I need to change up my approach to dealing with her.

When we started talking, I was under the impression that she had been with several men, but it had never bothered me, because again: she is one of the few women that I've ever genuinely connected with. My buddies have told me that she's actually been with a lot of men. Like... a LOT of men. I love sexually experienced girls. It really disgusted me that my friends were talking about her like they were reviewing some shitty, second-hand pair of boots on Amazon, but hearing that she had been with lots of men made approach her and talk her differently than I would have if I thought she was more tender hearted.

Anyhow...

She opened up to me one day, about her life struggles, and how she's feeling lost and scared, and how she wants to be "so successful that no one could ever take her for granted again." As we were talking, she sounded like a woman who was reeling from having her innocence and idealism shattered.

She's always been very bold in expressing her interest in me, which made me think she knew a thing or two about men, but now this conversation felt like I was talking to someone who might be mature, but has no idea how to guard her heart.

If I could get an idea for how experienced she is without being too blunt, I could change the way I do things in the relationship. I just want to be a great boyfriend. The articles that I read online were not especially informative.

Any thoughts are appreciated, ladies!

[Anonymous]

I wished i listened to my friends and the rumors but I was so happy, i was in denial. I didn’t believe the rumors because she seemed so innocent and sweet and i adore that. She was going through a lot. She’d always talk about her problems in life. I listened, im always there for her. It felt good to be with her. Butterfly, sunshine, rainbows. Turns out, my friends were correct and i was blinded by hope and affection. I thought me being a “good guy” was enough. I was being manipulated. Played with. I don’t think she realized she was doing it. Thats just how they are. I use to think we were “rare” because every woman would tell me that and i felt good being told that. I also learned that was a lie from a book i read, it literally told me about myself. It was so on point, it was alive and speaking to me. Growing up the conditioning from school, tv, radio, and parents made me that “good boy” i used to be. Girls is pimps too. I learn they value our time and attention more than the sex because they are generally used for just that anyway. Also the fact that they don’t really love “us”, the person; the individual. They choose us, and love our resources (money, social status etc.) I cringe at my old self now. New self is cool. I don’t get heartbroken because I don’t use “my heart” anymore. I use my penis. I put myself on a pedestal now. I hookup with girls like yours easily. Get that “special girl” out your head because those don’t really exist, that’s just a storyteller thing.

[Opinion Owner]

It’s billions of women out there and most of them are not the same but are alike and each have specific qualities you’ll crave for. Imagine having women on rotation and never getting heartbroken, always being chosen. A woman may talk shit about us pimps and players but in the end they rather share us than be with a guy that put her on a pedestal and afraid to offend her all lovely dovely. Remember Alpha fucks. Beta bucks. They’ll tell you this themselves in their own way. Watch what they do and not what they say. Don’t let anything slide the game is alive and you have to play it or be a victim by it. Red pill or blue pill? Know your enemy or live in peace?

[Zebadee88]

If you don't care howany men she has had why ask this question? Treat her with respect and let her know your feelings are good towards her. Nothing more needed?

[Asker]

Well yeah... I'm just saying that it would be nice to have at least some idea of what I'm walking into. I really like the idea of being able to teach her things, I just wasn't expecting it.

[Zebadee88]

I am.47 and still learning new sex and relationship stuff... Nobody knows everything or has tried everything

[Asker]

For sure!

[MermaidMotel]

I mean.. obviously, this is more than just a passing curiosity, which is normal when you deeply care about someone and are in interested in them. You won't know for sure unless you ask her. However, learn to read inbetween the lines. If her driving factor for becoming successful is so that no one can take advantage of her again.. she is more than likely talking about past relationships. You should have just asked her then and there who would ever take advantage of her. Just talk to her about your past relationships and the experiences you've been through and that should pretty much open the door for her to start talking about her past relationships. It will her more comfortable to talk to about it, if you talk about it. Who knows, she probably feels uncomfortable to talk to you about it.

[Asker]

I know that she was talking about a past relationship for a fact, she even said as much. I will tell you though, most women flat-out lie about their numbers. I think it's an instinctive thing...

[Anonymous]

You blew it buddy. Stop listening to your friends.

[Asker]

Not sure how I "blew it" just yet, but you're right: I should not listen to my friends.

[RebeccaSJ]

Not really.