If a guy hasn't had a girlfriend by his early 20's does that show signs of immaturity?

[Anonymous]

Many people say when you go through such experiences you learn from them and learn to grow up and deal with situations differently. So by this I'm guessing when guys go through relationships they mature with every relationship they have been through.

So what about if he has not had a relationship yet and he is his early 20's? If he still has not had a girlfriend yet does that show signs that he lacks immaturity because he may not be able to handle certain situations in a relationship and may not know what to do?

When I say early 20's I mean around 20-23.

[vmw2008]

There is no hard and fast rule for this one. I'd wonder what his reasoning was for not getting in a relationship. Was it because none of the girls he liked wanted him back? Was it because he didn't have any interest in one? Was it because he was too busy playing the field? Each reason can lead to a different idea of him in my head.

I will admit though, I'd prefer to date a guy who had been in a relationship before. I have been in one before, so I feel as if a guy who hasn't wouldn't be as mature (like you say) about issues we may encounter as a couple. He may not know how to handle certain situations and that could cause a lot of frustration. Eventually a breakup. If he's been playing the field too much, I don't know if I could trust settling down with him. I wouldn't know if he was loyal and capable of being a committed boyfriend, or if he'd continue to hold onto the player ways behind my back.

Like I said before though, it's not a dealbreaker from the get go. If I'm attracted to him, really like him, and get the feelings he'd be an amazing boyfriend, his lack of relationships wouldn't keep me from dating him. It's simply something I'd be a little cautious of and I'd look for signs, before we entered a relationship, that maybe we're not on the same page. In general though, since women tend to value the maturity that comes from experience (which is the reason why women usually date older men), I'd say a guy with no relationship experience is better off dating a woman in the same boat.

[Asker]

Well I'm talking about myself here. I am 22. And I doubt there are girls out there who have not been in a relationship by 22. Well the reason why I haven't been in a relationship before was because of a couple of reasons. First one is because the girls I asked out did not like me. Second one is that after getting rejected all the time (when I was younger) I just decided to focus on myself. Like my studies and working and other activites were the things I focused on.

[vmw2008]

Well I won't bullsh*t with you and give you a politically correct answer. I'll tell you how girls will actually think about that. If it's because none of the girls you liked wanted to date you, they'll think 1 of 2 things. 1) Women don't find him desirable for some reason. What's wrong with him? or 2) He only goes for women out of his league and won't ask out the women in his league who would accept him. I wonder if he's shallow?

I don't suggest you tell a girl that you can't get girls though.

[Asker]

I know guys who have been in relationships and still have not had any of them work out. I also know guys who have almost zero experience with women and have managed to have a happy first relationship. One that lasted longer than any of the relationships the guy with much more experience had. I hope I don't get turned down for. I honestly think I would make a great boyfriend. I more mature than most of my friends who can get girlfriends easily.

[vmw2008]

Well then you have nothing to worry about. I've seen the same thing happen among my friends as well. I'm simply giving you the opinions some women may have of it so that you can understand. As long as you don't act as if you're scared, insecure, and inexperienced, girls won't treat you like you are. It's in your head.

[Asker]

I'm not sure if you can class this as insecurity, but I'm personally not insecure about it but if I end up dating a girl who is experienced I might end up wondering what she will think of me after I tell her I have no experience. Don't know if that is insecurity or not. I'm not scared either. But how do I act if as though I'm not inexperienced?

[KrystalEyez]

Only you know what you can or can't handle. Relationships are a two way street. some people only ever have one relationship in their whole life, that doesn't affect their maturity. Just the experience they have in 'dating' and people. I haven't dated a lot of people. 2 to be exact that were of any significance. both being about 5 years each, one right after the other. I was 16. so by your age I was married within my second relationship, with that lack of experience I felt that was as good as it was going to get. hence my divorce because I finally realized I deserved better than how he treated me. But that wasn't a choice I made because of maturity, that was a choice I made with lack of experience, and a bad choice of guy lol. rebound sucks!

Personally, I wouldn't base who you are, your personality on your experience in having a girlfriend. You could be Mr. Perfect regardless who has dated you. The one you date is the one who you want to be Mr. Perfect to. It's your life, and you choose.

You can be a player and still not know how to handle situations. You can't be thinking about what you need to deal with but rather what you don't want to have happen and what you can and need to do to correct it if it does happen. Communication. Make sure you are sure before making a choice. You might be one of the lucky few who only ever have to make the choice once :)

[malekoniky]

No! It shows that he didn't want to or didn't met one he liked and she liked him. There is chance that this happen to anybody.

But asking this question means that you are not certain if you are. Has anybody suggested that you are not?

[Asker]

Well a few people have raised eyebrows at me because I told them I would rather wait to meet a girl I really liked before I lose my virginity. I'm 22 by the way. And they were calling me naive because they are saying I don't know what sex is like and once I experience having sex my preference for waiting for a girl I really like will definitely go out the window. Basically, once I experience it I would want it with so many other girls.

[malekoniky]

I am twenty five. I didn't have sex. I found girl I love and she is now dating other man. I still love her so I have different reasons for not having sax with anybody else. Mine are probably wrong. It is wrong to waste life for somebody who does not care. But I understand you.

I basically done everything with my ex except sex. I understand their feelings as well.

What is important is what you feel. If you are going to do something because somebody else think so ... you will regret it at the end.

[socalgamehater2006]

I hope not, gosh, women will always have the upper hand in dating, they don't need that much to get a guy

[Anonymous]

just social problems -- maybe socially anxious

[Anonymous]

Only if you are thinking about it.

[Anonymous]

No