Why are pretty women generally more insecure?

[WonderingNomad]

Okay, first I want to back up and say that I'm not convinced that pretty women as a whole ARE more insecure than their unattractive counterparts. I tend to approach things rather scientifically, so until I read a study, I'm not convinced ;-) That being said, in reading some of answers here it seems like a lot people take it for granted that pretty women are generally more insecure, and I agree that anecdotal evidence provides some support. At the very least, I think we all can agree that there are some VERY beautiful women who are also VERY insecure.

Now, assuming that you agree with my premise that beautiful women are more likely to insecure than their less attractive counterparts, why do you think that is? It's just so counter-intuitive and I'd be interested in anyone's attempt to explain it.

[Brando]

I can't say for sure if pretty girls are more insecure, but that might be because I hardly know them. I suppose it could make sense if the girl was coasting by on her looks, then all of a sudden stops to think "What if I genuinely need to get something done, and my looks won't get me by?". Let's face it, pretty people do get treated better. I wouldn't go as far as saying life is handed to them, but they generally have an easier time with a lot of things (except gossip lol). I read an article about pretty women who get to a certain age (usually middle aged), then their self esteem and confidence just plummets. This is, according to the article, not only because they might be either losing their looks, or they are realizing that their time is about up and the younger, prettier girls are taking her place...but because the woman realizes that she might have used her looks for a lot during her life and never really developed herself outside of her appearance. This means that any insecurities that were hidden beneath the surface were ignored because she had plenty of other distractions in life. But once it comes time to face those insecurities, she may feel like she's not able to handle them because she's never had to.

When I see older women in the store, for example, loading up on creams and a ton of other beauty products, I sometimes wonder if this is what's going on with them. I guess it's one of those "mortal moments" when you realize that you aren't bulletproof and life will get you down just the same as everyone else.

So basically, a beautiful woman has options- plenty of them. If she doesn't have people constantly wanting to be with her (which ultimately leads to networking), then she has people wanting to get in her good graces by providing for her. When this stops happening because the men either don't want her anymore or find something younger and more fertile, then she's left to fend for herself. Assuming she doesn't know how, this is where her self-esteem crashes.

[DianaWest]

what options do beautiful women have? sex industry? sexual objectification and exploitation? getting rid of your dignity and self-respect as a human being? flashing a smile and guaranteeing success in life? your pretty green eyes are going to shield you from depression and anxiety attacks? being hated by 90 percent of women, being ridiculed, considered stupid, egotistical, and promiscuous? these are your ideas of benefits? no. i think you are wrong. there are no benefits for beautiful women. the only benefits that exist are in the sex industry/pornography. it's fine for women with no dignity, but most women are not okay with that. you think thta being a model is a guarantee for all beautiful women? maintaining a 115 pound weight, dealing with eating disorders and low self-esteem. these are considered "benefits" to you? beautiful women definitely have it easier than ugly women, but don't make it seem as if these benefits set them for life. everyone has to work hard. the ones who flirt to the top clearly don't value themselves enough.

[xperience]

state of mind honestly. because they are tagged with being beautiful or gorgeous all there life

so they have to live up to that expectation all that time and within that they lose themselves

being afraid to do this and or that because it could cause scaring or gaining too much weight

[Anonymous]

well because they get mixed signals. I'm currently having this issue with my daughter. She's adorable and a lot of boys like her but the girls are catty and make her feel bad about herself because THEY feel bad about themselves so they need to make digs at her (in one day one girl who was a friend told her she was too thin and another told her she looked pudgy...she's 5'0 and 88lbs) so she's like great either I look anorexic or I look fat. One girl teased her about her freckles so now she thinks her face is ugly because of her freckles when her boyfriend loves them AND her body and tells her often as do the other boys at school. I was never as pretty as my daughter is and I never had these self doubts she has so I have to assume it's the girls who have caused it cause it's NOT the boys.

[Jessie123]

You get insecure people whether they are beautiful or not. I'm not agreeing with you, but I can't say I'm disagreeing either. When someone is insecure IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW "PRETTY" YOU ARE. They will think otherwise no matter what and will do allot of things to fix those counterparts ( that they personally see as not being beautiful or not societies 'perfection'). What other people say doesn't matter. Being 'more beautiful' doesn't have anything to do with insecurities.

If you were scientifically thinking about this, you would realize that it doesn't matter how 'beautiful' you think the person is. If THEY think they aren't beautiful, then your personal thoughts doesn't come into account what-so-ever.

[teardrop06]

what you are talking about makes sense. Since people get used to getting called beautiful when they don't have it they lost who they are. Some people would even kill themselfs if the get deform because to them beauty is everything. Like right now for me I am 24 and I still look preteen. In my family we age well. I have the problem that guys don't notice me becasue they think I'm too young. I hate it but then I remember when I get older I will still look young. I can actually lie about me age because when I say the truth no one believes me.

[Asailum]

Thats easy to answer. Very attractive women usually spend a lot of time getting ready in the bathroom. They go out and not ONE guy gives them a compliment (because most guys are terrified of even saying hello) on what they've spent hours creating. Naturally that's gonna make them start to doubt and question their looks.

[angel666]

well when you are always told you are beautiful or something like that you either become full of yourself or feel you need to live up to that expectation and always think you aren't going to reach that goal that others set for you. in another case if you are very beautiful or just pretty even others can be jealous and decide it is their duty to rip you to pieces and make you so insecure. also it can just be a part of the personality.

[beastman88]

i think if a girl is really beautiful, she doesn't really have to try hard in life at all, but saying that I hope that beautiful women don't lean on that one crutch all their lives because eventually that crutch, or pillar whatever will crumble along with the girls self esteem, confidence etc.

get a profession, get good grades in school, combined with good looks is a deadly combo. I think most beautiful girls are not insecure at all, although some probably are.

[DianaWest]

i am so tired of hearing that beautiful women are only capable of being beautiful. any woman can be "beautiful" if she knows how to apply her makeup. i hope that you know what "beautiful" is. it means naturally beautiful, not fakeness.

[Anonymous]

If you don't care what you look like or what other people think then you won't really be insecure. Most pretty girls tend to really care what other people think.

[AmberChick]

It's because insecurity/security has nothing to do with looks. Security/insecurity has to do with how you look at things, your perspective if you will. One comes from the inside, the other from the outside, they are two completely different things.

[rocksongwriter]

What do you mean by insecure? Like, they are paranoid about what guys (or other girls) think of them? Or that they put their self worth in their ability to be in a relationship?

[WonderingNomad]

Both I guess. Insecurity seems to mean relying on others for one's self-esteem, whether that means needing other people to tell you that you're attractive, worthwhile, intelligent, etc. I've thought about this question of mine a lot and think that insecurity in attractive women comes from getting your compliments about something that is externally defined--beauty--which necessitates reliance on others for your self-esteem "fix." Just a theory though ;-)

[rocksongwriter]

Interesting.

[melencoly]

How would you feel if people were always looking and judging you?

[xxxmegan]

I think a lot of pretty girls who are insecure don't realize they're pretty. Pretty girls who aren't insecure know they're pretty, therefore have less doubts...

[Anonymous]

Because attractive women are usually dating attractive men, who tend to have more offers and take them up.

[oxidizer235]

simply because looks are all they got

[DianaWest]

says an ignorant and bitter man. right. it's been scientifically proven that if you are blessed with good looks, you are also cursed with a below average IQ. Newsflash: most bimbos you consider beautiful are average at best, but phenomenal makeup artists. try looking at naturally beautiful women who don't try too hard.

[Anonymous]

because we get bullied for it